Unseen Academicals: A Discworld Novel

Written by Terry Pratchett

Narrated by Stephen Briggs

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else. This is not going to be a gentleman's game.

The prospect of the Big Match draws in a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can, a maker of jolly good pies, a dim but beautiful young woman, who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been, and the mysterious Mr Nutt (and no one knows anything much about Mr Nutt, not even Mr Nutt). As the match approaches, four lives are entangled and changed forever.

Because the thing about football — the important thing about football — is that it is not just about football.

Here we go! Here we go! Here we go!

A Random House UK audio production.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House UK Audio
• Release date: Dec 11, 2009
• ISBN: 9781407057149

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett (1948–2015) was the acclaimed creator of the globally revered Discworld series. In all, he authored more than fifty bestselling books, which have sold more than one hundred million copies worldwide. His novels have been widely adapted for stage and screen, and he was the winner of multiple prizes, including the Carnegie Medal. He was awarded a knighthood by Queen Elizabeth II for his services to literature in 2009, although he always wryly maintained that his greatest service to literature was to avoid writing any.

Reviews for Unseen Academicals

[snotbottom-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Only my second Terry Pratchett book, but I think he's growing on me. His wit seems to lineup with mine pretty well.Yet, he doesn't just rely on his wit. this story would stand well on its own, and the humor only adds to it.

[pwaites_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Unseen Academicals is the thirty-seventh book in the Discworld series, and not one I’d recommend starting with. While Unseen Academicals does stand alone, it contains a plethora of references to other books in the series, possibly the most self referential of any Discworld novels. Thus, I would suggest starting with Guards! Guards!, The Wee Free Men, Monstrous Regiment, or Going Postal instead.On the surface, Unseen Academicals is about sports. Ponder Stibbons, the new Master of Tradition of the Unseen University, has discovered that over eighty percent of the university’s food budget is covered by a bequest that stipulates they put forth a football (or soccer, if you’re American) team at least once every twenty years. Time is run out, and for the sake of the cheese cart, the wizards must play football. What Unseen University is really about is community. Being in the midst of a community can be a wonderful thing as you can feel supported and like you belong. But being in a community can also hold you back when you worry about how others will perceive you. You end up placing limits on yourself about what is “sensible” and never think about what it is you actually want. And it’s so easy for a community to turn on someone they perceive as different.‘”First, never, ever apologize for anything that doesn’t need apologizing for,” said Glenda. “And especially never apologize for just being yourself.”‘Unseen Academicals of course includes the faculty of the Unseen University, who should now be familiar from countless other Discworld books from Moving Pictures on. However, the majority of Unseen Academicals is focused around four new characters who all work in the servants quarters of the university. Glenda and Juliet are both cooks in the Night Kitchen while Trev and Mister Nutt deal with the university’s endless demand for candles. Other reviews have pointed out that these characters fall into general types you see in other Discworld novels. While I think that’s true to a certain extent, I believe that all four are distinctive and that if they can be considered a “type” they are the best of that type Discworld has to offer.Glenda is a sensible young woman who compulsively sorts out other people’s problems. In the back of her mind, she remembers her mother, who was so consumed with hard work and other people’s affairs that she had no time left for herself. Mister Nutt is a highly intelligent and educated goblin who is obsessed with finding worth. Trev is the orphaned son of the football’s biggest legend. Juliet is beautiful and maybe not as stupid as she appears. It’s hinted that she could grow and do a lot more if Glenda let her make her own decisions. I love all four of them and their friendships with each other. Glenda Sugarbean is a particular favorite of mine, and I love her growth through the novel. It’s a pity you don’t see more about her in the fandom.“A lot hinges on the fact that, in most circumstances, people are not allowed to hit you with a mallet. They put up all kinds of visible and invisible signs that say ‘Do not do this’ in the hope that it’ll work, but if it doesn’t, then they shrug, because there is, really, no mallet at all.”The pacing is slower than many of the other Discworld novels. I also think the ending was weak, although that could because the climax was a football game and I have little interest in sports. I actually liked Unseen Academicals better than previously after this reread. There was a lot about it that I’d never noticed before.While Unseen Academicals is not the best Discworld novel, it’s far from the worst. I’d say it’s in the better half of the series. Still, given the number of reoccurring characters who make appearances and sly references to other novels, I wouldn’t recommend reading it without experience in Discworld. However, if you’re familiar with the series, I’d encourage you to pick up Unseen Academicals.Originally posted on The Illustrated Page.

[griffin22 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Football, wizards and fashion. And one orc. Good story, but the theme of another race going from discriminated against to accepted (dwarves, trolls, werewolves, vampires, golems, now orcs...) is getting a bit tired.

[jonsweitzerlamme · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Probably the weakest of the later Pratchett, but definitely worth a read.

[breic-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

It never builds much momentum. The main plot point, a soccer game between the wizards of Unseen University and an Ankh-Morpork United challenger team, doesn't have enough meat to sustain a book, so Pratchett adds a number of minor plot points that trail off. The writing is uneven, with the humor dropping off in the middle before coming back at the end. Not a particularly strong Discworld entry.

[ma_washigeri · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Pretty poor - perhaps another half star. Football isn't my thing but the problem was that it didn't contribute to the discworld mythology or to insights into human nature, and wasn't very funny either. Better to re-read one of his better ones I think.

[kaitanya64 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

If you hate pro sports (and who doesn't ) you will love this book. You might even love it if you love sports. Rincewind makes a cameo appearance, but the main focus is on Glenda, the head cook in the unseen university's night kitchen,who is one of those people who keeps others safe and fed but who will certainly face challenges when her responsibilities include a crew of wizards trying to play semi pro "foot the ball" and an Orc who may be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[kmajort · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Can't NOT like Terry P. but I could tell (tho Michael did say it out loud)
that this was dictated DiscWorld.... Missing the absolute polish/edit of his earlier stuff.
But who am I to complain? Go man go!

[merkabaza · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

A good cast of new characters introduces football to the world of Discworld but unfortunately they are not as interesting of complicated as some of the other well known characters such as Sam Vimes or Granny Weatherwax. Nonetheless its still a good read and will having you laughing out loud more often than not. Of course as a football fan myself I loved the actual football in the book!

[gwernin · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Some good bits, some tedious bits, and a slightly limp ending. Still, the good bits were pretty good, and the tedious bits were not too long, and I didn't actually dislike the ending.

[paeonia_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Not Pratchett's best.

[mumfie_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

It's not one of his best, starting off very slow, but still. Show good understanding of the value of a football crowd

[edwinkort · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

liked this book.

on to the next book in the serie

[chelseaknits-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Not my favorite of the Discworld series; I suspect I'd have liked it better if I were more of a sports fan. I love how the female protagonist is fat but finds love anyway, and the presentation of a drag queen/gay man couple made me happy, as well.

[jbarringer-2 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The wizards discover the joys of foot-the-ball, and become acquainted with an orc.

[oldflame_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Once of TP's best, which is just astonishing when you know that he had to dictate the entire thing and have it written out by someone else. As funny and witty a look into soccer (football) and fashion modelling as you could want. Yes, the two things go together.

[dark_phoenix54 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Ever since I heard about Sir Terry Pratchett’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, I’ve read each new book of his with trepidation, fearing I’d find signs of decline. So far, so good- he hasn’t lost his wit or way with words. But Unseen Academicals *is* different from most of the Discworld books. It doesn’t run at the breakneck pace of most of the Discworld novels. The jokes don’t fly quite as thick and furious. But with this slower pace comes something else: the characters emerge. Normally, characters in Discworld books are sketchy and somewhat caricatureish, made to fit a satirical situation and the satire drives the novel. In this book, while satire is the main thrust, the characters also drive the plot. I found that quite nice. While I adore the Discworld books where the jokes fly fast and thick, I found it interesting to see some backstory to some of the wizards. Normally portrayed as nothing more than incompetent gluttons, in this book we get to see them as people with pasts and relationships. Unseen Academicals takes on soccer (football to everyone but Americans), fashion, and racial and class prejudice. I don’t follow soccer, but reading not long after the World Cup I was able to appreciate a lot of what he’s poking fun at. I would have liked to have seen more of the fashion satire, but perhaps those characters will be back some day. The parts about prejudice and stereotyping is heavy, unusual for a Discworld book, but it’s a subject that’s hard to be lighthearted about. It all works. It may be different, but it’s wonderful.

[mistydream_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It's a book about football in the same way "Sports Night" was a tv show about sports. It offers the same amount of fun, good characters and gags, except Sorkin didn't use wizards and goblins.

[tpausilver · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Like most of Pratchett's books, I enjoyed this a lot. It's fun, it's pretty easy to read, it has emotional punch. It's got wizards, Death gets a cameo and it's actually got very little football, which I have to admit is a selling point as far as I go. In unseen academicals the wizards find that to keep a bequest which pays for most of their lunch they must play a game of football. Of course this doesn't go easily. i have to admit that a big chunk of what made this book so much fun for me was Glenda. Glenda is one of our main characters, a cook in the night kitchen at the university who gets pulled into the football thing. Glenda is one of those people who ends up being a big sister to everyone around her, and I'm like that so I loved her just a tiny bit more than normal. This book is longer that most of the discworld books but it contains a lot more. We get a lot of great characters who all go through a lot of changes over the book along with the usual Discworld fare like the Librarian being awsome. I did enjoy this book greatly and spent a lot of time trying to decide if I should rate a 4 or 4.5 (becasue that's what I do at work). In the end, it did come down very much to how much I love Glenda and Nutt. They're the selling story of the book for me. Of course, the entire thing is witty and fun and well plotted, but their particular story was the part that made me devour this book. Nutt is one of the main characters, a Goblin (or is he?) who works at the unseen university's candle vats. He's funny looking and scared and just trying his best to do a good job and have value. Of course, Glenda takes to him because she feels sorry for him, and I couldn't help but hope for them as a romantic couple. Stuff happens and, as you may guess, they did! It was cute, it was fluffy, it was like eating sugar pie. Glenda isn't good looking but she's generous and determined and has a head full of romantic idea but it also an idealist and she's utterly wonderful. A few points annoyed me, like how Glenda and Nutt (the two unatractive characters) and up together and Juliet and Trev (the attractive ones) also end up together, and the continual reminders that Glenda isn't attractive. But then, on the other side, Glenda never lets not being attractive hold her back, Nutt is intelligent and charming so by all accounts a good catch and they all go of to excitement and adventure in the end so none of the things that bother me bother me enough to stop me enjoying the book. So, yeah, read it!

[catym_14 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I was determined to wait until this came out in paperback to buy a copy but - as usual when it comes to waiting for books - I failed spectacularly. And I don't regret it.A lot of people have commented that this is very different from a lot of the Discworld novels; I agree. It's softer, for a start. The biting satire of some books shows a little less fang here, but I don't think the story is weaker for that. The satire and wit are still there, they're just ... better-natured. More cheerful. Amused. There were fewer lines in the book which provoked hysterical laughter, but more which provoked broad smiles.The new characters of Glenda and Nutt were excellent - classic Pratchett characters - as were the supporting cast of wizards and associated university staff. I also liked seeing a more relaxed side to the Patrician, and thought his character was very well developed. It's not necessary to know much about football in order to appreciate this book - at worst you'll miss a couple of jokes about the offside rule and half-time pies - but the football parts are pretty entertaining. The academic rivalry with Brazeneck, the invention of micromail, the candle vats and the thugs all add the expected detail and richness to the story, and the Academicals' first match is nothing if not eventful.The books set in Ankh-Morpork are generally my favourites among the Discworld series, and this was no exception.

[anniejanicki · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I liked it. This book appears to have its share of detractors, in comparison to other Pratchett books I've read. To which I say, the man can't put on his shirt without help these days. Give him a break! And it's a damn sight better than Nation, if you ask me. I'm proud of Terry Pratchett, and his resolve to go down fighting. And I'm not sure he's particularly down yet. It's also better than the Rincewind novels, in my opinion. I've never understood the appeal of Rincewind. I liked Glinda and Trev, and Nutt a lot, and always enjoy Vetinari and Ridcully. Hix the necromancer was very funny also. Glinda is certainly of a type: i.e., the same type Tiffany Aching and Agnes/Perdita came from. But it's not a bad type, and if there weren't enough women around who slightly fit the mold, I don't think he would use it so much, or that it would go over so well when he did. Lastly, some less-than-thrilled reviewer I've just read has commented that one of the basic plot points of the novel is that Nutt "is a goblin, which doesn't sit too well with Ankh-Morpork society". He's an orc. If you're going to gripe about a novel, please read it carefully first!

[Boglarka Koszegi · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Funny story, great humour, also irony. Wonderfully read by S. B.

[leslie398 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

3.5*
I would probably have liked this more if I was a football/soccer fan. As it was, it seemed a bit too long.

[martialalex92 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It brings in several new characters that are pretty nicely done. Also has the most references to previous books of any of them, so likely shouldn't do this one first

[et.carole · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Another wonderful story by Pratchett that manages to turn an ordinary story, this time about foot-the-ball, into a portrait- no, a tapestry (including portraits of such wonderful people as Mr. Nutt, Glenda, and Trev Likely)- that illustrates the problems and brilliant problem solving of mankind.

[electrascaife · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The authorities of Ankh-Morpork try to tame football and make it an official sport, but he wizards are involved, so it quickly becomes absurdly complex and ridiculous. And then there's the strange new fellow working in the candleworks in the basements of UU, and his appearance will also complicate things in some interesting ways.I never thought that a wizard book would become one of my favorite of the Discworld series, but, well, here we are. Nutt and Glenda immediately became well-loved characters and they made me love this book despite the presence of both Rincewind and sports.

[collingsruth · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Once of TP's best, which is just astonishing when you know that he had to dictate the entire thing and have it written out by someone else. As funny and witty a look into soccer (football) and fashion modelling as you could want. Yes, the two things go together.

[comtso · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It's a book about football in the same way "Sports Night" was a tv show about sports. It offers the same amount of fun, good characters and gags, except Sorkin didn't use wizards and goblins.

[drhapgood · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Another consistently entertaining Discworld book. I've missed quite a few books in the middle, and I felt out the loop about the current goings on at Unseen University, but I still found plenty to love about this book.

It's silly, but Vetinari's ongoing "war" with the crossword puzzle writer never fails to kill me. I'd like to see a few moments from her point of view to see if the feeling is mutual. Please, Mr. Pratchett!!!

[cheriedooryard · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I have not read all of Pratchett's work, but I have read a lot of it and I can safely say this is the first book of his I ever trudged through. I look Pratchett, but this is definitely a weak link. A really slow, really weak link.