Dr. Aaron Weiner, Ph.D., ABPP is a board-certified Psychologist and addiction specialist and speaks nationally on the topics of addiction, behavioral health, and the impact of drug policy on public health. In this episode, Dr. Aaron talks about childhood trauma, whether addicts are inherently bad people and the pain that people often hold deep down that they’ve suppressed and compartmentalized.   TAKEAWAYS: [2:11] Why does relapse even happen? If the addict really loves me, why can’t they just stop? [3:10] Your betrayed partner is hurt, but they love you and they don’t want to see you in pain. [5:45] How do you tell a partner that you’ve relapsed or have a slip? [6:35] Many spouses feel so disconnected from their addict.  [9:15] You may continue with your addiction, but it will never be the same. You will always hurt your family.  [11:00] Are addicts bad people? Are they just going to keep hurting people?  [15:20] Do addictive personalities exist? [16:40] Childhood trauma disrupts your entire worldview. [21:35] People often want to know why this is happening, but it’s equally important to understand how it’s happening and how to stop.  [27:00] We are going to get stressed and it’s natural that you want to hide from that stress, but there are better ways to solve that problem.  [30:10] Can you fix addiction? [32:45] Dr. Aaron offers some helpful workbooks and solutions to help you with your recovery journey.  RESOURCES: Sex and Relationship Healing @RobWeissMSW Sex Addiction 101  Seeking Integrity Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men  Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency Out of the Doghouse by Robert Weiss Weinerphd.com Dr. Aaron on LinkedIn QUOTES: “I’m an addict and I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to be reminded of it. Addicts will jump over the problem.” “One of the things I see betrayed partner’s looking for is empathy. The addict gets into recovery, but they’re still assholes.” “Almost every client that comes to Seeking Integrity wants to know ‘why’. I can show you why, but you really need to learn how to stop.” “We are always going to be faced with stressors in our life and we are always going to want to feel better.”