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Ashley Merryman: Rethinking Parenting Strategies, Understanding Healthy Competition, and Constantly Seeking Improvement

Ashley Merryman: Rethinking Parenting Strategies, Understanding Healthy Competition, and Constantly Seeking Improvement

FromThe B.rad Podcast


Ashley Merryman: Rethinking Parenting Strategies, Understanding Healthy Competition, and Constantly Seeking Improvement

FromThe B.rad Podcast

ratings:
Length:
81 minutes
Released:
Mar 12, 2019
Format:
Podcast episode

Description

What an honor to meet this mega-bestselling author in person in Los Angeles and crank out an interesting podcast! Ashley has been spreading the word about her two very important books for over a decade, speaking and consulting internationally to sports teams, business leaders, and parent and school groups. She also operates a cool non-profit tutoring program for inner city kids in LA. Her books, written with Stanford professor Po Bronson, have rocked our world and make us rethink the most basic notions about parenting and the nature of healthy competition. Interested researchers and readers are transcending dated and harmful cultural values and embraced the new possibilities communicated wonderfully by Ashley and Po.   The first book was called Nurtureshock: New Thinking About Children. The world of Carol Dweck, Stanford professor and author of Mindset, was highlighted. The idea that this effusive praise, obsession with boosting self-esteem, and helicopter parenting to ensure kids don’t suffer or fail was called into question. Kids need healthy struggle and setbacks to grow and develop resilience and determination. They benefit from adopting a “growth mindset,” where the emphasis is on effort and improvement rather than results. The research from Nurtureshock was the inspiration for the next book, Top Dog. If you are interested in competition and peak performance in any area (business, athletics, parenting), this book will provide lasting insights and strategies to be the best you can be, and not succumb to the dangers of a lame, ineffective approach to competition.   Interestingly, Ashley relates that she has been rethinking the emphasis placed on effort and instead prefers to focus on improvement. We all know how misdirected effort may not lead to improvement and can even be unhealthy—such as with an overtrained athlete or the college student who pulls all-nighters and eats Top Ramen in the name of delivering maximum effort. In these examples, excess effort or a narrow focus on effort alone will not lead to success or happiness. Reference my podcast about the Japanese Soccer Team and the Japanese cultural ethic of doryoku, translated as honorable effort. You could infer this means dispensing effort in a focused and productive manner to stimulate improvement.   Ashley garnered attention years ago for stating that the long-standing practice of giving every kid a trophy is a bad idea. After much reflection and controversy, Ashley is more certain than ever that this is a really bad idea! Listen to her go off about the many ways in which our cultural trophy policy cheapens the experience for everyone.   We also get into the groundbreaking article that changed my mindset and approach to parenting on the spot when I first read it in 2007. It’s called the Inverse Power of Praise and I did a blog post about it that I send to anyone who will listen. This article led to the NurtureShock book project. The article calls into question the self-esteem movement that has led to the widespread concerns about helicopter parenting today. Ashley talks about how to set rewards to generate optimum outcomes for competition. A local 5k promoting a healthy community (everyone gets a finisher medal, that’s fine), versus a contest to discover the most distinguished performers. A college application process for an Ivy League admission could be a good example: many competitors, few prizes.   You will love this show and be compelled to grab these books and go in for a deep immersion. Following is some details about Ashley and Po’s work, and accolades, to get you excited about Ashley and Po’s work: Ashley and Po have won nine national awards for reporting. Merryman's been on countless radio and television shows, while email, Facebook, and Twitter are filled with demands to read her essays, such as "Losing is Good for You," "How Not to Talk to Your Kids," and "Creativity Crisis." Among the awards for Top Dog was a "Best Book of the Month" by both Barnes &
Released:
Mar 12, 2019
Format:
Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Brad Kearns covers health, fitness, peak performance, personal growth, relationships, happiness, and longevity. Slow down, take a deep breath, take a cold plunge, and get over the high-stress, tightly wound approach that often leads to disappointment and burnout. Kearns, a New York Times bestselling author, Guinness World Record holder in Speedgolf, 2020 #1 ranked USA Masters track&field age 55-59 high jumper, and former national champion and #3 world-ranked professional triathlete, offers a diverse and sometimes spicy mix of shows: expert guest interviews, peak performance primers, and brief “Breather” shows providing quick insights and how-to tips that you can execute right away to improve your life.