Why do people cringe at the suggestion of setting a boundary? So many people respond with, “I don’t like confrontation” when I suggest a boundary. Setting boundaries is tough to do if we were not modeled healthy boundaries growing up. Even if we came from a pretty healthy family, few people grew up with healthy boundary modeling. In today’s show, I talk about what boundaries are, how to set them, examples of healthy versus unhealthy boundaries and the four keys to setting healthy boundaries.   Listen to discover: The difference between a boundary and a confrontation Examples of healthy and unhealthy boundaries Four steps to setting boundaries What to do when boundaries backfire What boundaries are not and what to do if you are in a toxic relationship   Boundaries are rooted in our sense of self and come from our internal guidance system. They are a necessary part of our lives and a key to healthy relationships and learning how to speak up for what we want. This show is filled with tools and tips to help you to start better taking care of yourself, learning how to set a simple request and teaching other people how to treat you.   “When I hear people say ‘It’s not important that I speak up for myself,’ or ‘I don’t need to set a boundary,’ I hear ‘I’m not that important.’” - Michelle Chalfant   “A boundary is letting another person know what is ok with you and what is not ok with you.” - Michelle Chalfant   “If you don’t know who you are, what in the world are you defending or setting a boundary against?” - Michelle Chalfant “Get crystal clear with your wants, your needs and your desires and speak them.” - Michelle Chalfant   Resources Episode #212: Boundaries Crash Course https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/212/ Episode #193: Boundaries in Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/193/ Episode #184: Boundaries, Empowerment and Finding Truth https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/184/ Episode #174: Building Self-Esteem https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/174-building-self-esteem/ Episode #173: Am I in a Toxic Relationship? https://theadultchair.com/podcasts/173-am-i-in-a-toxic-relationship/ Episode #160: Boundaries and Defenses https://theadultchair.com/podcast/160 Episode #80: How Do I Feel My Emotions? https://theadultchair.com/podcast/80 Episode #26: Boundaries vs. Confrontation https://theadultchair.com/podcast/26  Self Series theadultchair.com/self Care/Of https://takecareof.com/ Use code ADULT50 for 50% off your first order   More Adult Chair The Adult Chair Website https://theadultchair.com  The Adult Chair Membership https://theadultchair.com/membership/ The Adult Chair Workshop https://theadultchair.com/events/ The Adult Chair Coaching Certification https://theadultchair.com/certification-program/   Stay Connected Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelle.chalfant Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichelleChalfantFanPage/ The Adult Chair Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/Michellechalfant   *** EPISODE CREDITS: If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment. He helps thought leaders, influencers, executives, HR professionals, recruiters, lawyers, realtors, bloggers, coaches, and authors create, launch, and produce podcasts that grow their business and impact the world. Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com