One Weak

By Jason Kichline

One Weak is the culmination of a year's work of branching into his role of a poet. His debut work reflects daily struggles with love, theology, society and his quest to understand the world. one weak or two strong a journey to seek for a soul who longs yearning a love unbound learning how hearts are found

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Apr 11, 2011
• ISBN: 9781257552757

Book preview

December One Weak

Pouring Scotch

This place.

I wish you were here,

   next to me…

   across the table,

   not telling me to stop,

   but to continue.

Enthralled by my soul,

   not my intoxication.

You are intoxicating.

Just you can make me smile.

   Is that just a feeling?

   Is it reality?

   I don’t know.

   I’m not sure.

But there you are.

   Real…

Gazing back at me.

   Real.

More real than reality.

What if we threw away practicality?

Threw away these inhibitions?

These chains that bind us?

What then?

Our logic melts away,

like the dust clearing after a rain.

   I’m floating,

   I’m flying,

   I’m hovering,

   I’m waiting…

For who?

For you?

I don’t want to go…

Where can I go?

Where can I roam?

Home?

No one’s home.

No light on…

but you.

You guide me like a light in the darkness.

Is my soul merely a fly?

A mindless creature?

Drawn to your light?

   your warmth?

   your allure?

Luring me.

Is this a trap?

Can’t escape.

Pouring out

   like life.

Pouring out

   like scotch.

Pouring out…

   my will,

   my heart,

   my blood

Oh God.

Losing everything

   for the taste of the forbidden.

Mayday

Two stars floating above.

Two stars as Venus, and Jupiter…

In love.

Passing in the black like two strangers.

Understood.

Bound by the laughing moon.

So soon.

So soon.

I’m numb, and my judgement fails.

Like staring into the sky.

Above.

Is this love?

Or just an illusion?

Oh God…

I’m falling.

A star.

Shooting.

Shooting towards the unknown

and yet…

the known.

I know where this is going…

But don’t want it to.

No.

No!

Please God…

Let this be more than just us.

Let this be you.

Let this be true.

Let this be real.

Real.

Deal.

Fate.

Chance.

No.

Real.

Let the guise of sanity be reality.

Are we crazy?

Or has reality engulfed us?

Our souls

Our everything.

Lord no.

Let me do your will in all of this.

This.

Bliss.

Miss.

This.

Dialtone

Now I’m the one.

I felt this was resolved and yet…

it’s 3:45 AM.

my heart is pounding.

I awoke.

Pulled closer to her.

Held closer to her.

But who was I holding?

In presence it was her.

In absence it was you.

I miss you.

I miss your voice.

I miss your smell.

My body picks up the phone.

My soul trying to make the call.

Hearing only…

Dialtone.

Rain

Squeezed from twisted torment.

It comes.

Unexpected.

A solitary drop like from a faucet of a leaking soul.

My hand reaches out to catch it.

My face reacts to pinch it.

My will intact to choke it.

Drip, drip.

Another.

Thoughts clash.

Feelings rumble.

Heart reverberates like the ground in the summer heat.

Waiting.

Waters gather.

They stream down my face without reason.

I smell the sweetness of rain hitting pavement.

I sense the steam rising.

I feel the drops splash my legs.

Crash.

The sky opens up again.

It comes in waves.

I look up into the swirling grey.

This surprise storm coming without reason.

The cool of a drop runs down my neck and along my shoulder.

I smile.

Like a boy.

Caught in the thick with no umbrella.

Looking for puddles.

Sliding Closer

aching.

this is not good.

my heart pounds over simple words.

my mind reels over innocent pauses.

my heart speaks and you listen.

my fingers finish your sentences.

I am happy.

I want to crawl into your thoughts.

I want to experience you.

your life.

your hurts.

your passion.

your everything.

though we are far apart.

our souls slide closer.

like two teenagers on a basement couch.

wondering if the parents will see.

how can this be wrong when it feels so right?

or maybe that is why it is so wrong.

we reasoned the nature of love and aroused it.

we questioned sin and awakened it.

we tempted fate for the thrill of it.

we drew the line, was it only to cross it?

we crossed paths, was it only to part?

shaking.

my questions grow.

my answers cease.

my logic fails.

my guard is dropped.

my heart is laid opened.

hurting.

Talking Over Coffee

I don’t want to break your heart

It was a cold and bitter morning

I’m not so sure it played a part

In where the tear was even going

I like some bite in my coffee treat

It goes so well with sweetness

How come you have to be so sweet?

Because your warmth surrounds my bleakness

and as it trickles down my throat

the heat removes my outer coat

and makes me feel from what you wrote

   alive

   awake

   again

Faintly Follows Yes

Wandering, my soul trips.

Stumbling in the darkness,

   over thick roots of trees,

     and rocks wrapped in moss.

I hear a voice in the forest,

   a babbling like water,

      flowing from the deep,

        and bubbling up from within.

I call out to it,

   and hear a familiar response.

     a voice I recognize,

     a voice I long for,

     a voice to lead me.

I begin to listen.

I listen to the sounds of the forest.

   They resonate with my voice.

   They harmonize with my dissonance.

I shout!

   are you there?

     are you listening?

       are you hearing?

         are you real?

Faintly follows,

   Yes

Two Children

two children

in flight of passion fleeting

far from honor’s home

lost in lonely wood

forced cares of life retreating

ever desiring the roam

but our bearings broke their bushings

and as the night made chase to day

canopy concealed clear clarity

found us in woeful wood

a stark sanity of reality

breathing.

two lovers

high upon the forest sleeping

far from safe abode

shivered dares each twig snapping

ever huddling each tone

but our hearings hoped our hushings

and as the fright made chase to way

volume voiced vain verity

drew us toward dimming good

a spark, a reality of sanity

shaking.

two children

high above a cliff descending

far from grounded mode

unsettled, understood

quivered stares each look tingling

ever chilling each bone

but our peerings prodded our pushings

and as sight made chase to stray

feet feigned feared fatuity

bound us in freeing fall

a harsh brevity of gravity

splashing.

two lovers

in waters filled with passion flowing

far from normal’s zone

rushed tears each stroke groping

ever knowing each known

but their tearings stoked their thrustings

and as night made haste for day

lost lovers lauded levity

left one lone on heighten tall

to embark the same gravity of reality

smiling.

Day 7

we need romance to live

   like air

   like water

I don’t want that part of me to die

but this pain

   this sweet pain

   this lush agony…

it is romance

   yes… it is

it is the tragedy

   and the smile

and the beauty

   and the life

   and the blood

it is the stuff of great romantic tragedies

Of Drummers and Poets

if beats were like words

and sticks like the pen

then one could observe

and summarize then…

that it’s not what you say

it’s how and when it is said

it’s not so much what you play

but more accurately read…

it’s what you leave out,

it’s what you leave in,

it’s when you want to,

but don’t.

What I See

you

   just glow

there is a joy in you

   that you locked away for so long

and it presses at the creases of your skin

   yearning to get out

and just to see you smile

   makes me so happy

it’s your smile

   that I notice

twirling

   in rays of beaming light

   in a field of tall grasses

careless

   your hands brushing tuffs of wheat

smiling

   shining

glowing

   in the warm sun

The Second Scotch Was For You

lights dip

warmed glow

a slight sip

a no-show

frozen tones of glass and ice

trickling down this soothing vice

vacant chair

her lips lent

lingering stare

imagined scent

numbed by amber moistened kiss

lured by sweetened wafting bliss

hopes float

pains sink

your glistening throat

…or so I think

   …or hope

loneliness longing to end

an empty toast towards sin to bend

rushing, reeling risk again

a lusting for lost lover friend

Wisps of Whispers

your fragrance leaping from your form

and to my nostril senses born

wisps of whispers from your soul

detected leaks of trust now torn

a moonlight moaning, summer’s end

moonflowers aroused by nymphs who tend

the hidden gardens of your soul

the nighttime call of woo to send

but bitters battle beneath bare bliss

behind your ears I hear a hiss

its scent sighs softly from a soul

waning, warning, withering, whiffs

unlike fair flowers in daylight’s gleam

this rare flower is rarely seen

until the nymph provokes a soul

whose fragrance sings nocturnal dream

Message From A Bottle

I think I drink a bit to end

   this pride of stagnate prude

I raise a gaze to neighbor friend

   and once again we send for booze

Two, I sign for mine and hers,

   two shots of who cares what

I raise my daze with lesser cares

   and wrestle from my righteous rut

One, ask I to try a smoke

   for a night of plightful firsts

I gag a drag to outwards stoke

   a burning heart of heinous hurts

In haze of ways unknown before

   I grapple for a call

Composed in prose this nightful lore

   a sole message from a cold bottle

To whom to doom my drunken shame

   this send to friend requires?

I thus focus to cry her name

   the match who sparked my soul’s desire

Withdrawal

each breath

   cigarettes taunt me

      mock me

      laugh at me

   lungs fill with

      heavy tingly and

      vapored reinvite

each bite

   alcohol accuses me

       proves to me

       my stupidity

   stomach fills with

       painful pangs and

       vanishing appetite

each step

   levity reminds me

      blinds me

      challenging upright

   mind fills with

      random thoughts and

      dark depressive dew

each move

   separation confines me

      chains me

      skin chilled and crawling

   body fills with

       longing, a deep aching

       a withdrawal from you

Angel

Your face is what I see

   when I’m struggling through

You make your call to me

   when I need you to

Grace carries your every move

   and lifts you on its wing

Your feet planted to soothe

   and with your voice you sing…

Over me, an ancient song

   in radiance of white

The word of God in holiness longs

   to fill my soul with might

Thank you for all that you have done

   standing for what’s true

The darkness falls, the light has won

   because an angel came through you

The Entrance

down an alley wrought with grime

found a folly fraught with time

an antique arching entrance way to

bounded tally of words sublime

time forgot this timeless shop and

I’m now caught in destined plot

to enter arching entrance way

entwining thought for souls to swap

an elder woman shop kept thus

and held her whom then she could trust

through entering arching entrance way

expelled the webs and shelving dust

she led me through the stale and cold

and said she knew of tale untold

of why through arching entrance way

I tread, debuted the veil of old

I opened books and pages peered

I hoped in nooks and ages neared

as entering arching entrance way

invoked the looks of sages feared

hours flew as pages turned

powers grew as stages spurned

centering in arching entrance way

cower ensued as ages burned

I made my way back out to leave

afraid to stay, I did conceive

outside the arching entrance way

a young girl stood with duster cleaved

Dancing

every word is a move for you

every stanza a swaying beat

I hold your hand and slide my feet

to mingle with yours

this dance so sweet

the lighting fades

the music dims

glimmering orbs

sparkle within

across your form

I take your hand

and lead you there

middle of the floor

in awkward stand

your soul to warm

my gaze seeks the soul of you

my hand rests on the small of your back

closer we merge, I cannot pull back

together we crash as two distant shores

waves of passion lapping our lack

my mind races, cherishing you

but my shoulder senses a distinctive tap

further diverged we quickly pull back

I turn and see that I am not yours

your husband cuts in, fulfilling our gap

Fragments

I try to be still,

   but thoughts still they come,

like glassy fragments.

   Random.

They spill overtime,

   like diamonds of my mind.

Each one beautiful and yet,

   pointless unless pointed and set.

I can’t stop this flow,

   of overdubbed voices.

They discuss and debate,

   my life’s future choices.

Perhaps one day soon,

   the voices will stop,

   the pieces aligned,

   from one pill to pop.

Labyrinth

you intrigue me

more than you ought

your depths yearning to be explored

intriguing

wanting to discover

with boyish wonder

like passing through a labyrinth

smiling at each corner

   at each turn

   at each dead end

you smile at me

   like adventure herself

saying something so benign

opens up a whole other side of you

   and then another

   and another

   lost

the next thing I know

you’re all I think about

this complexity that culminates

in a simple beauty

of you

and I could get lost in your labyrinth tonight

Your Voice

Today fell silent

No words came

My mind was still

Today merely went

Just the same

My conscious, chill

Tonight I pause

Not the same

My ears unfilled

Tonight because

No words came

Nil poetic skill

Tonight is past

The week ends at last

And your voice is

Still.

Within

darkness hides beneath the skin

dust lies inside these walls

one cannot inspect within

only listen as it crawls

outside appears pure and true

a flat and painted plane

memories adorn those who view

the facade of simply sane

time it takes its tenuous toll

eroding what is seen

sin protrudes once from its hole

then scurries within the scene

facades cannot hold a house

they buckle under strain

we must exterminate each mouse

and cleanse each and every stain

humbled I asked Him just for that

once falling on my knees

to find sin lured out like a rat

with a savory speck of cheese

Heavy

it’s how I feel

at night, alone

my heart hangs inside my chest

like dead weight

on strings straining

to hesitate

it’s that moment when

my breath shallows

my mood darkens inside my head

like abandoned dreams

on memories fading

or so it seems

it’s all I want then

just to feel a touch

my skin crawls along my frame

like watchmen above

on ramparts aging

seeking love

so when I see you

for who you are to me

my mood brightens

my breath quickens

my heart leaps

like a young boy

on sugar rushing

experiencing joy

Passion

Passion is two souls merging

   like fluttering heartbeats of a first date

it is a spiritual essence

   best represented by the physical

it is sharing ideas so deep

   that you gaze into her eyes

it is communication so perfect

   it goes unspoken in speechlessness

it is finishing each others sentences

   in a way that fingers interlock for the very first time

it is wanting your emotions to run and hide

   but staying put even while vulnerable

it is two spirits sliding through a dark room

   meeting only to dance in the sparkling twilight

it is getting so close

   you can smell her fragrance

and to share secrets so hidden

   like undressing without shame

and then it is covering up that pain

   and whispering in her ear…

   everything is going to be OK

and when she asks are you sure?

   holding her ever closer

   to share the warmth

   of two souls flickering,

   radiating resonance,

   in the darkened cold

Norman

Calm.

There a peace in your hands.

   Sturdy fingers roughened gentle,

   worn and worked in.

Strength.

You wait.

Peaceful.

Peering out the window

   looking behind the curtains

   for someone.

Anyone.

Smiling.

You greet others,

   filled with hearty laugher

   like a warm bowl of chowder,

   or a hot cup of coffee

   in front of a roaring wood fire

   on a cold winter day.

Inviting.

Reaching.

You outstretch your hands.

   to help another up.

Focused on the work

   that needs to be done

   in the most selfless of ways.

Thinking.

Humble is your definition.

   a kingly worker robed in blue.

   a man worth living up to.

   a guy to whom I say I love you.

   a true friend I call dad.

Twilight

Timid

She paints

On outstretched canvas

Woven from deep memories

With colors vibrant and dark

This tapestry she wears in fragility

Hiding

She chooses

Shades of twilight

Hues of cast shadows

Muted mauve or diminished teal

Covering a lifetime of wonders hidden

Melancholy

Serene beauty

Eerie silence singing

Like summer cricket choruses

Carried on chilled autumn winds

Unsung sirens luring other twilight wanderers

Seeking

Found her

A lone artist

Painting pictures of twilight

Outside the warm welcoming houses

Alone under moonlight in her beauty

Painting

Vault

sound alarm

everyone out

chamber door

heavy hinging

slowly towards

entrance sealing

remains inside

unclaimed treasure

precious thoughts

boyhood longings

dusty shelves

forgotten feelings

lights outened

guards posted

keeping watch

thief kneeling

now detained

hearts healing

locked up

private vault

once again

now revealing

romantic soul

worth stealing

Shirley

There’s enthusiasm in that smile of yours…

   the corners of your lips wink at doubt

   an assurance that anything is possible.

   your spirit beams like a young girl chanting try me

   and we’ll just see what can be done about that!

You roll up your sleeves without hesitation.

   teaching me that success comes from hard work,

   convincing me of the value of money,

   guiding me through your actions,

   and raising me in your ways.

I remember…

   shaking the snow off your hair when we shoveled

   splattered paint on purple sweatshirts

   the sweat stains on ratty t-shirts

   and the dirt caked under your fingernails

I forgot…

   how much I cherish being driven by love

   guided to loving others with tangible actions

   instructed in your near perfect wisdom

   and the simple bliss of slumber after a good full day

I see in myself a glimmer of you

   and that brings a boyish smile to my face

   and a sense that nothing is truly, ever impossible.

Kristin

brightness surrounds you

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