In Sickness and In Health

By Nicole Hanlin

"In Sickness and In Health" is a tender celebration of the divine connection of marriage. With personal anecdotes and practical advice from the author, the book shows how spouses working together as one team makes all the difference in overcoming life's ups and downs. With warmth and sincerity, it shares simple tips and loving encouragement to h

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nicole Hanlin
• Release date: Mar 1, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869258632

Book preview

In Sickness and

In Health

Nicole Hanlin

Dedication

When my husband and I took our vows over 30 years ago I can honestly say I never once dreamed or stopped to consider what life would be like actually living those vows. I knew two things, first was that I loved him. The second was that I never wanted to emulate the marriages I saw in my family. Sounds harsh and that is not the intention, but it was the stark reality. I had never seen a happy, until death do us part, union of a couple, period. So, if I wanted different, I needed to do life different. If I wanted better, I needed to be better.

Over the last 30+ years we have continued to grow and evolve and learn how. Even if I had seen all that I wanted for my marriage in others, there is still a steep learning curve because two people who have individual personalities, life experiences, marriage goals, need different things. So we must learn how to do life together. The one thing that I was 100% certain of, was that divorce was not an option for me, ever.

This book is dedicated to all who helped us reach this milestone. Everyone who humbled themselves enough to share their experiences, so that we could learn from them. It is also for all who will come after us, to see and read all the highs and lows and know it isn’t just them, but it is worth the work, always!

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1:  What is Marriage?

Chapter 2:  The Love in Marriage

Chapter 3: Having a Child

Chapter 4: Financial Struggles

Chapter 5: Managing Long-Distance

Chapter 6: The Tolls of Moving

Chapter 7: Unexpected Illness in the Family

Chapter 8: Not all Wounds are Visible

Chapter 9: Cancer in the Midst of Covid-19

Chapter 10: The Importance of Rest

Chapter 11: Leading With Selflessness and Joy

Chapter 12: Words From Real Couples

Chapter 13: My Prayer for You

Epilogue

Prologue

While working through my memories of the last 30 years to write this book, it was truly humbling to recall the many opportunities when I have had the privilege to live out our wedding vows; In Sickness & In Health.

Very few people ever stop to think about the magnitude of their vows before taking them. At the height of your love story, can you even imagine what living your vows would look like? Life seems perfect, full of dreams and possibility. You never imagine life altering illnesses, or physical limitations from unforeseen accidents. You may not have even thought about what challenges would be on the horizon during the 30-40 years after your marriage.

Before you know it, you are being asked to live out those vows you took and you may be unsure if you can. I want to be a source of encouragement to remind you that you can! You only need to keep a few things in the forefront of your mind; no one asks to be sick, it could just as easily have been you. Moreover, Jesus gave his life for us, surely we can give to someone we love, just as much. Lastly, what an honor it is when someone trusts you enough to care for them and see them at their lowest, in the darkest of valleys when the future is ripe with uncertainty; times when we are all asking where the light is at the end of this tunnel.

Throughout this book you will read about our experiences living out our vows. You will hear the truth about how hard it is, but also how strong we never knew we were. You will walk through the highs and lows with us. Even though life has occasionally dealt us a poor poker hand, we have maintained a chips-all-in approach.

If you are holding back because of fear, selfishness, anxiety, sadness or even because you don’t think it is fair, you are almost certainly guaranteed a losing hand. If you pull your emotional resources, lean on His word and your vows, leading with grace and empathy; you will find that you have a better than average chance of winning the hand if you go chips-all-in together.

Let’s face it, life is hard. Marriage is hard. When we share the responsibility and learn to lean into the challenges together, the tasks are less insurmountable and more manageable. I have purchased a lifetime membership to the roller coaster of life with the only person I want to do this life with.

There have been steep climbs, loopy loops and death-defying drops and with my hands in the air through it all, I want to be first in line again to buckle up and ride again with my ride or die.

~Part 1~

Chapter 1:

What is Marriage?

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant  or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Ever since the dawn of mankind, the sacred institution of marriage between a man and a woman has existed in its Godly form. Throughout the world’s changing cultures and the passing of time- our Lord has been unambiguous about the fact that marriage is a sacred bond that ties a couple together for eternity- in this life and the next.

What started with the marriage of Adam and Eve, has continued to our time in the modern world, in which we stand before Jesus and exchange our vows; promising to love and cherish each other through the tests of time.

It is important to recognize that marriage is, and always has been, God’s way for us to become one with each other, and to procreate and build our own families. When this notion has been realized and absorbed into our hearts, we can finally stop viewing marriage