Redemption

By Stacie Herrera

Redemption is a series of journals written to God throughout my life. I start my life with the knowledge that anything you go through can be found in the Bible. As time goes on, I grow deeper in faith as I begin to learn what it means to pick up my cross and live for Jesus during my suffering. Throughout the book, I learn more about God and his goodness during trials.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 28, 2024
• ISBN: 9798823022910

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© 2024 Stacie Herrera. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/28/2024

ISBN: 979-8-8230-2282-8 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-8230-2291-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024904202

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Acknowledgement

My biggest thanks goes to God for inspiring me, teaching me new things about myself, and for being so good to me. Thank you to Katherine French-Ewing for her help and expertise at writing a book. Thank you to my friends on the prayer team at Rocky.Church for supporting me and praying for me.

Foreword

I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, which is a mental health disorder marked by a combination of schizophrenia symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions, and mood disorder symptoms such as depression or mania (Mayo Clinic, Symptoms and Causes, 2019) in 2010. The first time I went to the hospital I had no idea what was going on with me. I was experiencing psychosis, which is when I was not living in reality. I was hearing and seeing things that weren’t there. It was scary!

At the time that I started having hallucinations and delusions, I was living in Firestone, Colorado, but driving to Denver to participate in young adult activities through the Archdiocese of Denver. It wasn’t that long after I got sick that I had to stop working. This was hard for me because I also had to give up my first love - my photography business. But I felt like God was assuring me that everything would be okay.

I went to the hospital 4 times from 2010 until 2017. The hallucinations were auditory and visual. The voices I was hearing were those of evil spirits and angelic spirits. The evil spirits created a world within me full of Satan’s lies. The voices I heard were of my friends and family saying negative things about me. The angels tried to get me to call a friend and ask for help, which I could never do because I couldn’t find my phone and when I did find my phone I didn’t know how to make a phone call.

While I was experiencing these series of episodes, I was drinking a lot. The Mayo Clinic says that it’s not uncommon for someone with Schizoaffective Disorder to misuse alcohol as a coping strategy, which is unhealthy and makes things worse. I was on medication that with the combination of alcohol was lethal. At the time, I didn’t care. I just kept drinking.

Within the last year, my newest psychiatrist has helped me manage my medications. I no longer hear the evil spirits, but I do struggle with my memory and other mental health problems with my mood. When you read my journal entries talking about my psychosis, you may see that I don’t have a full picture of what it was like to hallucinate as I can’t remember everything.

After my first two hospital stays, I was going to the hospital every 5 years. 2023 would have been the year I experienced psychosis again, but with God that didn’t happen. This book was written to show how God delivered and released me from the enemy and his strategies. Today I’m dealing with the mental illness, but God is with me and I am grateful for that!

Introduction

Redemption, means buying back or saving from captivity by paying a ransom. One way to buy back a slave was to offer an equivalent or superior slave in exchange. That is the way God chose to buy us back-he offered his Son in exchange for us (Life Application Study Bible, Exodus 12:29-30 NLT)

This book is my personal testimony and it’s not about being Catholic vs Christian. Honestly, It’s about having a relationship with God. That’s what this journey is about. God left the 99 to find me. I loved being Catholic, but God called me to a deeper relationship with Him and that meant transforming my mind into a follower of Jesus.

I became a follower of Jesus because my relationship with Him offers me a closer relationship with God. When I repent, I take my confession directly to God, through Jesus, and he hears me. His answers are so much closer to me than I’d ever experienced prior to knowing Him. In my earlier years, God always seemed so distant. Not now! Now the Holy Spirit is with me everyday, convicting me and giving me His wisdom.

I’ve been through some fun seasons, but I’ve also been through storms. God let me linger in some of those storms to teach me about Himself and His love for me. I have enjoyed the fun times, but it was through those storms that I learned the most about my identity in God.

In the past, my distractions kept me from praying efficiently and serving God. God showed me things about my spirituality that I needed in order to overcome the worldly cravings of the enemy. I learned that the enemy uses downtime to serve his purposes and not God’s. But God showed me how Satan is defeated.

Throughout the book, I share and explore how Satan had me in bondage and how God helped me break those chains of sin. God loves all of us, but He hates our sin. I’ve recognized that in my experiences, and I understand that now. This book, which is a series of journal entries, depicts how I wrestled with sin and how I became victorious in Christ!

I keep a personal digital journal, because my medication used to cause my hands to shake while I was writing. With a digital Bible, I can copy and paste from the Bible App into my journal. Plus, I can search my digital Bible with ease! I express my thoughts in this journal the way I do in my digital journal by the following:

Thoughts are found in italics.

Quotations are found in "italics."

Quotations that speak to me are in italics and "bold".

Quotations that speak more to me are in italics, bold, and "underlined."

I hope and pray that my story is an encouragement to those of you who are going through your own intense storms or those who wonder if God is truly good.

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April 1985: Catechism

Dear God,

Thank you for sending Mr. Anderson to lead my Catechism classes in elementary school. The one thing I vividly remember from a recent class, is when he told us students that all of life’s answers can be found in the Bible. I hope that is true because I really need some answers right now in my life.

God, is it true that You really care about me personally and You have a great plan for my life?

August 1986: Baptism

Dear God,

Today is the Baptism for my newborn brother and I. My aunt Sara and uncle Zach Baptized me today at our little church in Frederick, Colorado. What I’ve learned about Baptism in my Catechism classes is that Baptism is one of the seven sacraments which is where Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap. author of Living the Catholic Faith says,

"We literally die with Christ and rise with Him to become a new creation. The waters from Baptism wash us clean from sin, save us from spiritual death, and establish our friendship with God. We are carried into a new community of life. What happens in Baptism is that we’re inducted into the history of salvation. Through our Baptism, we’re inserted into this story as key players, and that’s infinitely more exciting than receiving a set of principles or a theory. Our obligation through Baptism is to live out the story as God guides us in our time. Being part of that story -the history of salvation-is not just intellectually satisfying. It’s exhilarating to mind, body, and spirit."

May 1987: Spelling Bee

Dear God,

I won the 5th grade spelling bee! My reward was the book, "Where the Sidewalk Ends," by Shel Silverstein. Did You see me? What a great day!

May 1990: First Communion

Dear God,

Today I’m receiving my first communion with all my friends here at our Catholic Church in Frederick. I’m learning about receiving Eucharist for the first time. They are teaching us through our Catechism classes that,

"The bread and wine of the Eucharist don’t symbolize God. They become God’s body and blood. Therefore, the surest way to an ardent relationship with Jesus