Nine Narcissists My Friends Love...Whom You Should Run Away From: Between Me & You, #1

By Writers' Row Publishing House

As hard as it can be to grapple with the prospect of navigating life without a mate, it is important to understand that settling for an unhealthy relationship isn't a better alternative. Nine Narcissists My Friends Love…Whom You Should Run Away From explores several reasons why this is so. More importantly, the book provides insight into why tethering oneself to an unhealthy relationship can prove destructive in more ways than one. These nine tales of relationship woes can help one put into perspective their non-negotiables for relationships. For some, it can become a tool for moving forward to begin the necessary work of determining healthy standards and boundaries. For others, these stories may be needed inspiration for realizing the value of protecting and nurturing the important relationship with oneself.

 

This book is the first release from the Between Me & You series, composed of narratives that promote self-awareness, accountability, healing, and growth. Trigger Warning: these stories detail instances of varying types of abuse and may be triggering for some readers. Resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline are available for anyone who needs help finding information, support, or advice pertaining to their safety at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

 

*Disclaimer - The author is not a licensed relationship counselor or mental health professional. The information in this book is not intended to offer credentialed relationship advice or diagnose or treat any mental health condition. Some relationship and mental health challenges warrant professional help from a counselor, therapist, or another licensed professional. If you are struggling with your mental or emotional health, MentalHealth.gov is one resource you can reference to potentially find the help you need.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Writers' Row Publishing House
• Release date: Jan 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9798989906703

Book preview

Preface

I remember it like it was yesterday. He showed up on the white horse of Instagram and did what guys like him do in the world of DMing. Every word he typed was a lie, but he constructed a series of lies so beautifully orchestrated at just the right time in a woman's life that combined, they read like Scripture. Falling for him was way too easy. Letting him go after getting to the harsh realities of his book of revelations was way too hard. Still ultimately, it had to be done. In my nonprofessional opinion, he was a narcissist and could no longer conceal it with love bombing.

It's uncomfortable to admit, but he was the worst of my many heartbreaks. This isn't because I was in a once-storybook relationship with him that had gone south. It is because my dear friend, whom I had seen as my hero, had been broken by him.

Witnessing the highs and lows of their union was hard, but it made me realize that my perfect, beautiful, intelligent friend was human. More importantly, I realized that not all heroes wear the cape of sound judgment when in love. Most importantly, I realized there are other humans - many heroes in the making - out in the universe like her who deserve fair warning about him and others like him.

Narcissism can be defined as admiring oneself incessantly or being self-absorbed to the extent that one does not consider the feelings of others or any consequences their actions may have on others. In its extreme presentation, it is a mental disorder classified as pathological. The word narcissist gets tossed around frequently in present times to label individuals who exhibit any indication of an unhealthy preoccupation with their own interests, wants, or needs that are often nurtured at the expense of other people. This is especially true in the world of dating relationships today.

Although there is a severe psychological component to consider when labeling someone a narcissist, degrees of narcissistic behavior patterns can surface in romantic relationships and create a toxic dynamic that isn't emotionally safe for either partner. The following composite stories detail relationship scenarios involving individuals who unknowingly entered relationships with narcissistic partners while searching for love.

In labeling those deemed to be narcissists, I am using the word loosely. I am not a trained doctor or therapist positioned by any means to render a professional opinion or give advice in a professional capacity. *Please understand this as you continue reading. However, as a friend who has been a shoulder to cry on for many after a bad break up or three, I have picked up on tell-tale signs of when someone is in an unhealthy or dangerous relationship and needs to walk away from it.

This book is not being presented as part of a male-bashing effort but is unapologetically intended to bash toxic relationships. Between me and you, its messaging is also a heartfelt plea that you wait for the person God has for you and run away from the types of characters - like those outlined in the following stories - whose obvious unhealthy traits are not safe for you mentally, physically, or emotionally.

Trigger Warning: These stories detail instances of varying types of abuse and may be triggering for some readers. Resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), are available for anyone who needs help finding information, support, or advice pertaining to their safety.

*Disclaimer - I am not a licensed relationship counselor or mental health professional. The information presented in this book is not intended to offer credentialed relationship advice or diagnose or treat any mental health condition. Some relationship and mental health challenges warrant professional help from a counselor, therapist, or another licensed professional. If you are struggling with your mental or emotional health, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration is one resource you can reference to potentially find the help you need.

#1 - Perfectionist Pete ⚠

Pete seemed to think he was God's vision of perfection and His greatest gift to the planet. He earned a six-figure salary, followed the Dr. Sebi rules of nutritional intake, played piano, and never missed the chance to be a hero. He once supposedly saved a cat from a swarm of cruel children before they could carry out the dastardly deed of squeezing it to death. He didn't further his good deed by taking the cat in to care for it himself. Rather, he passed the responsibility off to his aunt, who, from that day forward, told of the heroic tale to all who inquired about how she and Miss Pinkers found one another.

Pete was a parent's overt dream and covert nightmare. He didn't drink (in front of other people), smoke (in front of other people), or curse (in front of other people). To top it all off, he carried enough love bombs in his pocket to start a fantastic fireworks show or all-out war. Yes, at the time, Pete ideally fit the description of being all of that and a bag of chips.

When Harmoney introduced me to him, she swore it was love at first sight, regardless of how blurry the view was. Afterward, I would hear constant Peteisms and all about how normal things he did were somehow supernatural acts of greatness because he did them. His ordinary advice on life was presented as prophetic teachings straight from the apostles.

As nauseating as all of this was for me, it was challenging not, to some degree, to appreciate that she had found her version of love she could be happy with if permitted to have it forever. Four weeks in, however, I got my first red flag and had to remove myself from my passenger seat on the fantasy train. 

Harmoney told me that fateful day that she was frustrated because Pete wouldn't return her text messages. She speculated that he was upset that she didn't say more than congratulations when he told her he had received a job promotion. He felt that such an offense amounted to her failing at the job of being supportive of her man. Pressed for more details, she went on to admit that such criticism was not limited to her not showering him with enough praise during circumstances such as this but was also expressed if she didn't dress, act, or think in ways that he deemed appropriate for the caliber of woman he considered himself worthy of on multiple occasions before then.

It appeared that she was in on-the-job marriage training. It was the kind facilitated by office Karens who don't genuinely want you to excel at the job. When I tried to point out that it seemed he was not looking for a woman to love, but he instead wanted a Build-A-Bear, she became offended and challenged my perspective. She said, I understand he wants someone to match his standards. I want that as well.

She wasn't so assertive with this ideology; however, when asked, what are the standards that you want him to work to meet for your sake? There weren't any that she could think of. Unfortunately, his efforts to brainwash her into thinking he was perfect and she wasn't good enough were working.

Harmoney got the underpinnings of a wake-up call when she introduced Pete to the Treacherous Three. Unlike me, these were her no-holds-barred friends who didn't sugarcoat a thing and were true to form neva scared. Unlike Harmoney, they didn't laugh contagiously at his jokes, asked him uncomfortable questions, and made it clear that they were not gullible enough to believe all his hero stories, especially the one about the cat.

When Pete decided to pay for everyone's