A Bridge Too Far

By Tash Louw

A true story about a horrendous and unbelievable 2023.LIFE: Not everyone stays!
LOVE: A father who keeps fighting for the custody of his children, never giving up. An inspiration.
LOSS: So much has gone!
Tash Louw writes about the harrowing story of her brother, his children, and the Bridge family as a whole.
A Bridge Too Far will take you through a nail-biting experience in detail about deceitfulness, inappropriate balances between loyalty and choice. True love for family and an inexorable energy given and taken by the year 2023.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Feb 28, 2024
• ISBN: 9781779417244

Tash Louw

Tash Louw was born in South Africa on 20th July 1972. She grew up in the south of Johannesburg with three siblings.Sherilee, Duane and Gareth.Tash was the first of the siblings to have a child, Caleb who is 26 years old, and has a son of his own, Tyler who is 6 years old.Tash danced from the age of three and went on to teach dance, owning her own dance studio teaching tap, modern and hip hop. She was an adjudicator as well as an examiner in the dance world. She completed every examination and was an advanced teacher.The other passion she had, was helping youth at risk. She was part of a ministry called Reach For Life Not Regrets for eight years, and taught a prevention program in schools throughout Johannesburg.Tash moved to Australia in 2017. She has since completed studies in counselling, fitness and is currently a celebrant. To date she has married fourteen couples, and absolutely loves this calling.She often visits South Africa to be with her family and spend time with her grandson.Tash lives on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland Australia.

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Copyright © 2024 by Tash Louw

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-1-77941-723-7 (Paperback)

978-1-77941-724-4 (eBook)

Table Of Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

About The Author

Acknowledgements

It has been a horrible year for all of us. I had to write to tame my anger, it was the only way for me.

It has been raw and heartfelt. I would like to thank Evan for supporting me in every decision that I make. For believing in me and seeing things that I honestly did not know were in me. Thank you for your encouragement and endless commitment to my cause. You are my soulmate and I thank God for you. Love you.

To my family:

Sher

Thank you for helping me through many tears, for your input, and beautiful heart - you are a one in a million sister. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for taking care of dad. I am so grateful for your naked soul.

Mom

Thank you for standing by all of us, for your unbelievable love for us and unwavering emotional support. Thank you for taking care of dad. Love you.

Shyla

Thank you for being the beautiful young woman that you are, thank you for having a special heart and loving everybody. I will always have your back. Love you.

Knox

Thank you for your courage. Thank you for the honest, emotional young man that you are. You are an inspiration. I will always have your back. Love you.

Caleb

Thank you for your sensitivity, for your great attitude and outlook on life. I am so proud to be your mom. Love you.

Tyler

My joy. My happiness. Your resilience is awe inspiring, you are such a happy little soul, who in spite of all the hardships, keeps soldiering on with a smile. Love you.

Mandy Kotze

Thank you for being my best friend through thick and thin. Thank you for checking on me everyday. Thank you for the laughs, tears and weird things that catch us both by surprise … but we remain steadfast. A stunning friendship. We have seen it all my friend. Love you.

Gareth

You are a big part of me. We share jokes and heartaches. I can never ever have a life without you in it. Your love for your children, animals and family is a shining light to behold. Thank you for taking care of dad, thank you for taking care of Caleb and Tyler. Thank you for all you do for everyone. You are an inspiration not only to me, but with every single person you come into contact with. Keep your stunning soul as it is and keep your light as bright as ever. Love you.

Lee Burrow

Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for encouraging me and keeping watch over my soul, I am blessed to have you in my life. Thank you for all you do for Tyler. Love you.

Leann Day

Thank you for your loyalty, friendship and encouragement. You have stood by me for many years and I thank you for all the messages and love you have for us.

Melanie Hodge

Thank you for your lovely lunches, your love and support. Love you.

Dad

Thank you for many years of love, support and your relentless giving heart. You are missed more than you know. We acknowledge and feel your spirit near us. Please always stay near us. Love you.

This book is for the Bridge family,

We stand together

Yes, you will rise from the ashes, but the burning comes first.

For this part, my darling,

You must be brave!

—Unknown

CHAPTER

1

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

—Maya Angelo

He looked at me with the most sincere eyes, I’ve got your back!

This is what carried me through all my anxious thoughts, through all the flight, fight, or freeze knee jerk reactions that first sprinted into my head like a bullet travelling at the speed of light or sound, or whatever it may be… but travelled freaking fast.

How have I even become the lucky one to have you, was my thought, which then calmed my being and allowed me to collect myself from the floor where I was before he said those life-giving words.

His warm hand reached for mine, and I knew I was safe… that whatever I had to face wouldn’t be as menacing as it really was. (And boy, was it menacing!)

You see, even though he may have been dreading what we needed to get through, he knew what help would be good for me in my time of need. (Which seemingly was always and always, and never ending.)

The next thought that snuck into my ever-overthinking mind was – life is not a race, it’s a marathon. We are meant to enjoy the journey… most times, I find myself looking for the end line, when I can rush through the ribbon signifying that I have done the work, that I am now able to let go and rest. Yeah right!

What are they on about… enjoy the journey, pppssssshhhhh, screw that. Enough already! When can we get off the bus? When does the spinning stop? When do we get a breather? Hhhhhmmmmppppphhhh!

At 50 years old, I was learning more in life than I ever did at school. What is that saying… We live life forwards, but understand it backwards! ahhh yes, that’s the one. How true it is, nothing like the school of life. It will throw a test at you without you having any prior knowledge of it. It will cold heartedly throw one in the deep end and you will either sink or swim. What if you were not taught how to swim, what if you had to use the aid of a Bently Belt in order to keep afloat?

What about those who were able to turn onto their backs and just float away, going with the flow? Well, not me, I was all legs, doggie paddle, and choking on water as a matter of fact, but anyhoo…

However, I digress, back to the moment at hand. As I said, I was in the middle of a dramatic meltdown, with my wonderful husband offering a lifeline.

The problem at hand… my brother, having being married for thirteen years, with two lovely children, and a sly shit stain of a wife who did absolutely nothing in all the years together, who was treated no less than a queen, and then some. Shit stain, or satan, as my brother refers to her decided to leave the country with her mother (whom she could simply not live without), but found it absolutely acceptable to leave her children behind… Children who are intelligent beings with fantastic imaginations and hearts of gold, along with their dad (my brother).

Now, let’s make it clear that he (said brother, named Gareth) was more than capable of taking care of these beautiful kids because he always had done so since both their births. The children (Shyla) of fourteen years of age, and (Knox) of ten years old. Fortunately, both kids loved being with him and found it a general waste of time to spend time with their mother (this word most loosely used by the way). They were sick and tired of watching their asshole mother getting drunk every day and then laying around on her bed blaming depression for her behaviour… which of course was Gareth’s fault… Don’t be an Elsa (mother’s name), don’t do it!

But in order to understand this sad tale, we should go to the very beginning, cos as I said – living forwards, and understanding backwards…

Song – When We Were Young – Adele

Song that comes to mind in hindsight – Tragedy

– BeeGees

CHAPTER

2

I have a terrible habit of giving an ocean whenever someone asks for a single drop.

—Unknown

Our family name is BRIDGE, hence the irony of the title of this book.

Song – Bridge Over Troubled Waters – Simon and Garfunkel.

Way back in the 2000’s (when I had a lot more energy and goedspa), I owned my very own dance studio. Rhythms was the name of it, and I lived and breathed dance, and all related to it. I had danced since age three, and always maintained that I would teach dance, which I did. When I turned sixteen years old, I decided that I didn’t need school anymore (cos who does, right!). I wanted to start my career in dance teaching. I assisted my dance teacher at the time for five years. I then went out into the big world and started on my own. I simply loved what I did and would not trade it for anything.

At that stage, my brother was thirteen years old and was working at a flea market, helping my mom to pay rent, food, electricity etc. My dad had left my mom and was on a tangent with some other woman. (Hhhhmmmm!)

Gareth didn’t have the easiest life but was very creative and great looking… the girls, and boys (at art school) thought this too, which of course was his (Gareth’s) reason for him leaving there. He had also loved dance and was beyond amazing at it. (Why, I hear you ask… well, I was his teacher, bwahahahaha).

In the years following, Gareth went on to dancing on many a cruise ship and earned a shitload of cash. Even during those years, he was and still is a loving, giving person, who was and is there for all of us… PAUSE

Let’s look at satan, shit stain, sly bitch Elsa. She came into the picture when she joined my dance studio as a student. She was quite reserved, pretty, gorgeous body from constant gyming, and a person who seemed to have class, style, and great intellect… Boy, was I wrong about that, well, maybe not. She was all those things at the time. She looked after herself and seemed wise and well turned out.

She saw Gareth when he was between ship contracts, and decided she was going to have him whether he liked it or not. She was cunning and went after him with everything she had. (That should have been the first sign of her insanity!)

Knowing that one of the ways to Gareth was through us, his family – she went to all extremes to show interest. Her first port of call was my son, Caleb. He was still very young and gullible, thinking that that everyone loved him and wanted to spend time with him, play all sorts of games with him, and just have fun in general…BULLSHIT! Over and over again. She would visit the house and make the excuse that she wanted to spend time with Caleb, but was trying her twatwaffle best to burrow her way into our lives.

Moving along… she eventually got Gareth’s attention, and they had a bit of a fling between ship contracts. She even invited herself to the airport to say goodbye to him when he left for a contract. My mom was fucked off. She could not believe that this boofhead had the actual guts to show up and give the satan on a stick excuse that she Just could not stay away! Fucking hell… Really!

So, Gareth and satan had been together for a while when one night, they came to my room and stood at the edge of my bed (because that’s where all the cool peeps go at night… corner of duvet and sheet streets). They proceeded to tell me that I was to be an aunt. I was happy, and kind of expected it as they had been spending a lot of time together but knew that my mom was NOT going to be happy (that is putting it lightly).

TNT has nothing on my mom when she knows she is right, and when she knew that this was not going to work out.

Mom would balls to the wall come straight out and say it too…which, need I say, is exactly what took place. She promptly asked shit stain if she knew what the PILL was, and why was she not using it…

Song – Bad blood – Taylor Swift

Mom had more foresight than the rest of us did, even though we knew that it was not the best idea, we supported Gareth and her.

In actual fact, I often wondered whether she really was pregnant as she never developed that telling bump till she was about five months or so.

Gareth continued to dance on ships, and continued working, which satan the shit stain did not like at all. When Shyla was born, the world was indeed gifted. Gareth spent a very short amount of time with them as he had a ship contract to honour. He left them very down hearted, but went anyway.

Satan tried to emotionally blackmail Gareth before he left. She wanted him to stay. She told him that she would go to the Home Affairs office and change Shyla’s surname from Bridge to Da Silva.

Needless to say, this hit Gareth hard, but he felt that he needed to fulfil his obligations to his contract, besides, it brought in good money for them as he earned in US Dollars.

However, Gareth was injured on the ship when lifting his dance partner during a show. The stabilisers were not in place and the huge Princess Cruises ship moved and tore Gareth’s muscle from his shoulder (because Gareth being

Gareth, took the brunt of the movement and saved his dance partner from falling and being hurt).

He was sent home as he could not perform, but he in fact was quite happy as he could spend time with his daughter and idiot ass Elsa… who, might I add, wasted no time in going to change Shyla’s surname. How fucking rude, sly, cunning, asshole like and shit was that move.

I would kindly like to add that Da Silva is not as good as Da Gold!

Gareth felt that it was time to make things right, so he proposed to her in the studio where they had met.

Obviously, she said yes…