Raw Thoughts with Rev. D.: A Guide for Personal Reflection and Small Group Discussion.

By Rev. Dr. Derrick Wilhelmus

This book is a must-read for any person or church looking to promote and encourage personal growth, spiritual maturity through personal reflection, and for those looking to develop successful small-group ministries.
A life of reflection is essential for spiritual growth. In this book, Rev. D. writes on topics that he has experienced/encountered in church and in life, sharing his thoughts and conclusions. He has made himself vulnerable throughout this book by being transparent and by reflecting on potentially negative situations to learn lessons along the way. Each entry comes with reflection questions which are designed to prompt thought. Readers will connect with the relatable situations and experiences, and can use the responses to help with their own spiritual growth. If using this book for small group discussion, there is plenty of room for the individual to record his or her own ideas as well as engage in meaningful conversation. Strategies for building a culture of growth and authenticity are included as a framework as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Jan 19, 2024
• ISBN: 9781779412072

Rev. Dr. Derrick Wilhelmus

Rev. D. = Bluecollar meets academic ivory tower. Rev. D. is a no-nonsense, sometimes sarcastic, open book. He is ready to share his unique perspectives in an unconventional way.

Book preview

Copyright © 2024 by Rev. Dr. Derrick Wilhelmus

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-1-77941-206-5 (Paperback)

978-1-77941-207-2 (eBook)

Table of Contents

Foreword

Dedication and Acknowledgement

Raw Thoughts

Using Rev. D.’s Raw Thoughts

Getting Started

Raw Thoughts For Reflection

The Heart

Serving

Tenants

Lessons Learned From Puppies

Distractions

Distractions—One of Satan’s Greatest Tools

Those Tattooed People

Addictions

Golden Bracelet

Idols

Casinos

Chance

The Friendship Club

Legacy

Tithing

The Giving After You’ve Given

Christian Versus Secular Music

Music at Church

The Treadmill

Accountability

Servants—Elders and Deacons

Vision and a Mission

Outreach Versus In-reach

Building Poor—Would A Shack Do

Self-Limiting

Stretching

God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle

The Movie of Life

Strength from Christ

Are You Pleasing God or Man

Meetings, Meetings, and More Meetings

Another Program

Let’s Not Reinvent the Wheel

Much Can Be Gleaned From Failing

Hidden Agendas

Subtle Versus Direct

What is God Like

Optimism Versus Pessimism

Loving the Unlovable

God in a Box

Functionally Dysfunctional

Stifling the Spirit

Micromanagement—The Creativity Killer

We Are All Hypocrites

Church is for Sinners Not Saints

Television That Portrays Christian Morals

Being Famous Has Responsibilities

My Spider Plant

Social Media—Watch What You Repost

Demons

Disclaimers

Entitlement

The Lord Owes Me

Reminders

Catering to the Givers

Territorial

Is Church a Business

Denominations

What Really Matters—Jesus!

Worship—To Get or Give

Extremely Small Churches

Clothing

An Appendix

The Question

Why Read the Bible

Puzzle Pieces

If We Do It Right Becoming a Christian Will . . .

Watered-Down Gospel

Living For The One Percent

Is Evangelism the Only Way

Evangelism Part Two

Evangelism Equals Kryptonite

Necklaces With Crosses

The Sabbath

Dead Weight

Either a Church is Growing or Dying

Guilting

Numbers an Indicator of Success

Lifelong Membership to One Church

Exiting Well

Forgiveness

Anger

Don’t Follow Pastors—Just Christ

Overcome by the Spirit

By Not Deciding, You’ve Ultimately Decided

Are Good People Going to Hell

When I get to Heaven . . .

Talents and Areas of Giftedness

Must Be Good at Application of Text

The Pastor’s Job Description

Isn’t a Pastor Gifted in All Areas of Ministry

Pastors Only Work One Day A Week

Pride

War Rally

Concluding Raw Thoughts

Foreword

By: Mrs. Rev. D.

Hi. I am Mrs. Rev. D. I have been since 1995, before he was a pastor. Before the Lord laid the calling upon him to get into the ministry and become Rev. D., he was just Derrick, my husband. We were a (mostly) happily married couple who had the usual issues. We were lucky enough to always come closer together when things got hard. When he asked if I would like to write a foreword for his book I was flattered and honoured, but a little intimidated as well. I had the pleasure of being a part of the editing team for this project and I didn’t want to influence his voice in any entry. I also didn’t want to make his book about me. At all.

I was reluctant to be involved in Derrick’s writing project when he first said he wanted to write a book about his experiences in life. And about how God had used those experiences to teach him (us) lessons, or how to be part of someone else’s lesson. It wasn’t because I didn’t think he could do it. . . . I have known Derrick for over thirty years and know that if he sets his mind on something that he has the determination, drive, and ambition to complete the task and continually move forward. I was reluctant because so many of the entries were hard to live the first time around. I was afraid that diving in and reliving some of those stories would be hard on my heart.

I know that was selfish, but upon further reflection I realized that he had selected the life lessons and stories with a purpose—to share a lesson so that someone else might avoid certain trials. To offer a different perspective on heartbreaking incidences so that he and others might come to recognize the power of forgiveness. So that he could let go of the past hurts by being honest and vulnerable. And by recognizing that through our imperfections God will use us for His good. I wanted to be supportive.

Ultimately, during the editing process some of the raw thoughts Rev. D. shared were sometimes softened and sometimes still brutally honest and heartbreaking. But enough time had passed that any remembered pain, hurt, mistrust, or anger had diminished so that I could appreciate the lessons included as well.

So, whether you read this book because you are into reading stories about how God uses imperfect people for His own purposes, or you plan to use this book as a devotional, or as a guide for small group discussion, please know that it is always Derrick’s intention to be reflective. For the sake of privacy or to avoid embarrassing anyone, key identifying information has been changed. But the lesson should still be clear.

I am so proud to be the wife of a published author! I am also very grateful to have a husband who can reflect on things that may have caused hurt and anguish in the past and see past the emotions to find the kernel of a lesson. And for his willingness to share his experiences with others.

On that note, I invite you to take your time with each story. Grab a blank journal and record your own raw thoughts and answers to the questions posed. I guarantee you will learn something.

With gratitude and love,

Mrs. Rev. D.

Dedication and Acknowledgement

I would like to thank God, first and foremost. He is the reason this book has come together. He is the reason I could take all my experiences and look at them from a different perspective.

I would also like to thank my wife for putting up with me through this whole process. I love you!

I would like to dedicate this book to everyone who may have had some challenging experiences with those representing Christ Jesus.

I would like to dedicate this book to those seeking Jesus, growing in their faith, and striving to better represent Him everyday! Stay strong! Be encouraged! Use this book however you see fit to grow, to challenge both yourself and others, and to mature in Christ!

I dedicate this book to all those who faithfully serve Christ in a leadership capacity. It’s not always easy, but it will always be worth it! Stay strong! Persevere! God’s got you!

In His service,

Rev. D.

Raw Thoughts

I’ve been avoiding this for some time. I was never a writer in school. I could dream up elaborate scenarios when I was younger and had quite the imagination (so my parents said). But writing a book was something I never would have considered and dreaded doing. Yet, I’ve felt this pull to get my ideas down on paper in a (somewhat) organized manner. So, even though I don’t consider myself a writer, I will do my best.

I started reflecting over the past few years and realized that there was more I had to do than to just keep all these experiences, conversations, and observations inside. So, I wondered how it would look if I were to share these things. I began entertaining ideas how best to relay all these thoughts. In a book? In a blog? How vulnerable would I want to be? If this book ever made it onto store shelves, how would I want to be perceived?

And then it came to me. I needed to be as vulnerable as possible. Yes, there will likely be some critics and some supporters. There may even be those that think this book is just . . ., well, not for them. But I had to stay true to what I felt the Lord was leading me to do.

Finally, after refocusing my heart and rededicating my life to Christ’s service, I sat down and started typing. In fact, I couldn’t stop at times. My fingers became a blur and all I heard was clickety-click from the keyboard. Even though I’ve always believed in God and was raised in a Christian home, it wasn’t until after an industrial accident that the Lord softened my heart and opened my ears to pursue a life for Him.

You might find this statement a bit confusing. How does God open ears? Sometimes, although usually not the norm, we hear an audible internal word from God. This is usually the Holy Spirit speaking to us. But in a more general sense, the term open ears often refers to God speaking to us through His Word (the Bible) and us understanding what is being said. Which translates into a strong conviction to act.

This book is not meant to be an exhaustive approach to any topic. The topics in this book are issues that I’ve wrestled with and had numerous conversations about. They are areas I thought needed addressing and come from my own personal experiences. These topics of conversation have been with people that don’t believe, have believed, and do believe in Christ. Some of the people I conversed with were jaded, some were on fire for the Lord, and some just were downright mean. You get my drift.

Along with opening a discussion about these topics, I’m going to challenge you. I encourage you to begin a life of reflection. It is only through reflection that I really have learned anything. Reflection is crucial for growth, evaluating situations, and strategizing. I encourage you to take some time to reflect.

I don’t believe in coincidence or luck. Everything happens for a reason. This is what my life has demonstrated to me.

The Lord called me to enter the seminary after a very drastic event in my life. I was living the life of Riley as some would term it. Others might describe my past as checkered at best, but that is a discussion for another book. One thing I know is that there is nothing more important than sharing the love of Christ with others.

I have been a self-taught person my whole life. I saw high school as a great waste of time. I could be out making money, or so I thought. I didn’t value education. But here is the irony—I’m married to a teacher! My kids love to learn, and learning is now valued in my house.

But my time at the seminary did many things for me. Most were great but it was also the cause of many headaches. Let me explain. Growing up I didn’t like authority figures. And this was what I perceived my teachers and professors to be. I didn’t like being told what to do, how to do it, or when to do it. I didn’t like to be graded on how I performed or completed a task within the parameters set by the teachers and professors. I’ve always held to the mentality that there are many different ways to accomplish things or look at things. And I’ve often felt the rubric used by learning institutions was too rigid.

I attribute much of my success in life to my wife. The Lord really blessed me with her! She is an amazing wife, a wonderful mother to my children (and sometimes a mother figure to others), and a dedicated teacher. As I was fighting against the system of learning in the seminary, my wife’s calm voice prevailed.

She provided the encouragement I needed, and the support and freedom to proceed. She never placed any undue stress or expectations on me as I completed my masters in divinity. In fact, she was the reason I went to my convocation. Until this point in my life, I had never walked across a stage to receive a diploma. Let alone a degree! At my high school commencement, I was cleaning out my locker when I heard my name called.

It just was never important to me. And my kids, they are awesome! They understood the time I needed to do school work and were very accommodating. My daughter even made me a little button pin that I still have. It said, Pastor in Training.

The Lord has blessed me abundantly, and I didn’t realize any of this until my heart was right with Him.

You might say, How could I not notice how blessed I was? Simple. My heart wasn’t right, but I wasn’t aware of it. It’s like a rich kid saying how rough they have it. They are right in the middle of their situation and cannot see the forest for the trees. My focus was on me, and only me.

My goal in life, up until now, was purely financial gain. Sure, I loved my family but making money was a priority. I really liked the material comforts that money provided. I thought money would help my family more than giving them my love or my time. I wanted to be able to afford everything for them. To shower them with gifts. Then they would know how much I loved them. What I failed to realize was that they just wanted me. Kids don’t understand money, but they do understand love and time spent with them. And my wife, she deserved better.

I have a phrase that I use often. Many people never evolve. They never evolve from who they are to who they can be.

People seem to be content with living in a familiar place, with a familiar mentality, or with a familiar social circle. Some still live their life like they did in high school, except now they have children. Some are content with the beliefs of their families, not taking the time or effort to dig deeper or to think for themselves. They seem to have lost their zeal for life in exchange for contentment and complacency.

The Lord, after much prayer and me searching for an answer for the purpose of my life, rid me of personal greed and materialism. He put a new thirst into my heart, a longing for more. And then He fulfilled it! He sustains it! He uses it!

I’ve had an interesting journey in my life, and I will share that journey throughout my thoughts. But one thing that I know to be true: we are always learning. We humans are not perfect beings. But we can and should strive to be following our perfect example, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I hope you find this book comforting, thought provoking, and realize how silly we can be at times. I also hope that my shared collection of reflection questions and observations will provide an opportunity to learn from my experiences—both positive and negative.

God bless you as you continue to grow in your faith.

Using Rev. D.’s Raw Thoughts

It became evident early in my vocation as a pastor that a traditional approach toward ministry wasn’t for me.

Let’s first define the word traditional. Traditional ministry is something that has been done for many years or generations and continues to happen. This could be a Sunday service where people show up once a week, sing, pray, hear a message, and follow the lead of the pastor. Although I value some traditions, I also enjoy sharing with groups of