Recovery without Community: One Man’s Battle and His Five-Step Recovery Plan

By Gary P. Desjardins

Are you on the spectrum of alcoholism? Can you enjoy just one drink? Are you dealing with unintended consequences? There are many undiagnosed alcoholics who are dealing with significant repercussions because of their alcohol consumption in a society that embraces it. In Recovery without Community, author Gary P. Desjardins, a high-functioning alcoholic, shares a five-step recovery plan he created to become sober privately, with or without community support.

Desjardins, an almost sixty-year-old successful executive, has unsuccessfully managed the issue of alcohol for more than forty years. He attended numerous counseling sessions and completed numerous programs, but only recently did he discover the truth. He shares it in Recovery without Community to let others know they aren’t alone and to help them manage or eliminate the beast. Recently, he chose to look into his soul through his faith in Jesus Christ and address his monster in the closet: using alcohol while alone.

This spirituality book tells Desjardins’ story of trying to manage alcohol struggles for a lifetime and finally, through the grace of God, finds the way out of addiction through a five-step process.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 8, 2023
• ISBN: 9798385005734

Gary P. Desjardins

Gary P. Desjardins was raised in New Hampshire and graduated from Salisbury University and the College of Financial Planning, Denver, Colorado. He was vice president of First National Bank of Maryland, a founder and partner of Strategic Wealth Management Group, and is a managing director of Wealthspire Advisors, Salisbury Maryland. A certified financial planner, certified estate planner, and an accredited investment fiduciary, he lives in Berlin, Maryland, with his wife, Tracy. They have two children.

Book preview

RECOVERY

WITHOUT

COMMUNITY

One Man’s Battle and His Five-Step Recovery Plan

Are You on the Alcoholic Spectrum?

GARY P. DESJARDINS

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Copyright © 2023 Gary P. Desjardins.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. The Living Bible, TLB, and the The Living Bible logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0571-0 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0572-7 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0573-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023916277

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/05/2023

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction 

Chapter 1     The Need for Community and Identity

Chapter 2     Relentless for Success and Acceptance

Chapter 3     Retirement

Chapter 4     Unintended Consequences

Chapter 5     A Strong Career

Chapter 6     Counseling

Chapter 7     Marriage and Parenting

Chapter 8     Triggers

Chapter 9     Rock Bottom

Chapter 10   Judgment and Shame

Chapter 11   Hope and Faith

Chapter 12   Introspection Is Key

Chapter 13   Embrace the Truth and Help Others through Your Weakness

Chapter 14   The Loving Discussion: February 28, 2023

Chapter 15   Recovery without Community

Chapter 16   Breaking Codependency

Chapter 17   Alcoholics Anonymous

Chapter 18   Your Solution to Ending Your Alcohol Addiction (Five Easy Steps)

PREFACE

My name is Gary Paul Desjardins, and I am on the alcoholism spectrum. I’m fifty-eight years old. I’m a successful executive and I have created a five-step process to recovery. Take it or leave it. I’m a commonsense man who started drinking alcohol in junior high school and battled alcohol for a decade or more before I decided to change my life. If you are interested in my way, read the book and finish with the five steps.

God is far more likely to give you a ministry out of your weakness than out of your strength. In fact, God turns weakness into strength, His strength. Jesus put it this way: My grace is all you need. My power works best in your weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT).

After too much alcohol the night before, I have experienced many mornings with a variety of symptoms. Dullness. Lack of motivation. Disappointment. Shame. Concern from my wife. Let’s try again to separate from this monster named alcohol.

Here are the facts on alcohol in the United States per the 2019 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH):

• 85.6 percent of Americans over the age of eighteen have used alcohol at some point in their lives.

• 69.5 percent have used alcohol over the last year.

• 59.1 percent of men and 51 percent of women reported drinking alcohol over the past month.

• 25.8 percent of people eighteen and older engaged in binge drinking over the past month. Image that, one out of four people binge drink.

Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD)

Global burden: alcohol misuse was the seventh-leading risk factor for premature death and disability in 2016.

In 2016, approximately 14 percent of total deaths among people ages twenty to thirty-nine were alcohol attributed.

My opinion is that more than 30 percent of the people in our country who drink alcohol use it inappropriately. I’m a 205-pound, fit man, and I considered one pint of bourbon, which made three reasonable drinks, wasn’t that bad, but during my research, I realized one pint equaled eight to ten measured drinks. That is defined as binge drinking. All the heavy drinkers out there who can easily drink a fifth of a gallon a day are laughing right now. I get it. But my theory is that there are way fewer of you out there than there are people drinking like me. My binge drinking several days a week may be considered normal in today’s society. I am only pointing out that the problem and its consequences, if unrealized and unaddressed, could get much worse, and they would be easier to address now.

Everyone has his or her cross to bear, whether drugs, alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, sugar, food, porn, and the list goes on. While my issue happens to be alcohol, my wife’s issue happens to be sugar. Again, I think everyone has his or her cross to bear, and I hope I can let people know they are not alone. Sharing my personal battle may help someone in the world address his or her monster in the closet. Also, let me be honest out of the gate and share that I’m still finding my way. This book is part of my personal healing.

The premise of this book is that a high percentage of people in our country are on the spectrum of alcoholism. One out of eight Americans (who answer surveys honestly) are on the spectrum of alcoholism—12.7 percent