Book of Jokes

By Jagdish Krishanlal Arora

"Welcome to a world of laughter and joy! Our book of jokes is a treasure trove of humor designed to brighten your day and lighten your spirit. From clever one-liners to witty anecdotes, our collection spans a wide range of topics, ensuring there's something that will tickle everyone's funny bone. Whether you're looking for a quick chuckle or a hearty laugh, our book promises to deliver the perfect dose of amusement. Join us on this delightful journey as we explore the art of humor, reminding you that a good laugh is a universal language that brings people together. Get ready to dive into the pages and find your reason to smile with every turn!"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jagdish Arora
• Release date: Sep 8, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223095361

Book preview

Chapter 1: One Line Jokes

My friend tried to take a selfie with a light bulb, but it just didn't click.

I told my computer I needed a break, and it replied, I can't compute that emotion, please reboot yourself.

Why did the math book feel anxious? It had too many problems that needed solving!

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.

Why did the musician get kicked out of the band? He couldn't find his keys.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Why was the calendar always getting in trouble? It had too many dates.

Why did the robot get an award? It was the most wired to succeed – and it gave electrifying speeches!

What's a vampire's favourite fruit? A blood orange, because it's always in-vein!

Why did the zombie join a dance class? It wanted to show off its killer moves... even if they were a bit limbless!

How does a tree get on the internet? It logs in – and its favourite site? Barkbook, of course!

What's a magician's favourite part of a computer? The escape key – it helps them disappear!

How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it – it's the perfect way to get a crescent trim!

Why did the ghost go to therapy? It was haunted by its unresolved boos and aahs from its previous life!

What's a werewolf's favourite dessert? A lunar pie – it's how they satisfy their howling cravings!

Why did the book go to the gym? It wanted to work on its binding muscles and become a best-seller in the fitness section!

What do you call a vampire who likes to sing? A fang-tastic crooner – they're all about those sharp high notes!

Why did the robot cross the road? To get to the cyber-chicken convention – it wanted to discuss the future of clucking!

Why did the zombie get a job at the bakery? It heard there were grave opportunities for advancement!

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity – it's impossible to put down!

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Parallel lines have it so easy – they're never under any pressure.

I'd tell you a construction joke, but I'm still building up to it.

Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.

Why don't scientists trust stairs? Because they're always up to something.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful comedian? Because he had a corny sense of humour!

I'm friends with all electricians. We have such a positive connection!

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

What's a computer's favourite dance? The disk-o!

Parallel lines have it so easy – they're never under any pressure.

What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasto!

Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful comedian? Because he had a corny sense of humour!

Chapter 2: Question and Answer Jokes

Question: Why did the time-traveling dog sit in the shade?

Answer: Because he didn't want to create a paw in the space-time continuum!

Question: How did the computer propose to its monitor?

Answer: It popped the question with a pixel-perfect display of love and a heartfelt Ctrl + Alt + Del proposal!

Question: Why did the book blush when it got checked out at the library?

Answer: Because it had some novel ideas about romance, and its spine-tingling plot just couldn't be ignored!

Question: Why did the pencil get an award?

Answer: It was the write choice for the job – it knew how to draw attention and always had a point to make!

Question: How did the cloud break up with the thunder?

Answer: It sent a lightning-fast text, saying, I need some space – this relationship has been a bit stormy!

Question: What did the smartphone say to the charger?

Answer: You light up my life, and I'm charged up to spend every moment plugged into you!

Question: Why did the alien refuse to eat the astronaut?

Answer: Because it heard they had a lot of stellar qualities – and a taste for adventure that was out of this world!

Question: How does a vampire start a letter?

Answer: Dear Mortal, I hope this letter doesn't suck the life out of your day!

Question: What did the robot say when it met a refrigerator?

Answer: Are you an appliance or a cooling version of me? Either way, let's chill!

Question: Why did the tree blush when the wind blew?

Answer: Because it felt the breeze's compliments – it whispered sweet leaf notes that made it turn a shade greener!

Question: Why did the magician break up with their wand?

Answer: They realized they had too many wandering thoughts – it was time to focus on a more magical relationship!

Question: How did the tomato propose to the lettuce?

Answer: With a romantic salad dressing that said, Lettuce be together forever – we make the perfect pair!

Question: Why did the superhero refuse to go to the bank?

Answer: Because he didn't want to deal with his arch-nemesis, Interest – it always charged him more than he could handle!

Question: How did the cookie ask another cookie out on a date?

Answer: It spelled out Will you be my Choco-late tonight? in chocolate chips, sealing the deal with sweetness!

Question: Why did the couch get in trouble at school?

Answer: It kept encouraging the other furniture to loaf around and take comfy naps during class!

Question: What did the sock say to the shoe?

Answer: I'd be lost without you – you're my sole mate and my partner in walking adventures!

Question: How did the alien apologize to the cow they abducted by mistake?

Answer: They sent a message in intergalactic Morse code that said, I'm truly udderly sorry for the 'udder'-ly confusing experience!

Question: Why did the computer mouse start a protest?

Answer: It wanted to stand up against being constantly clicked on and yelled, We deserve a 'right-click' to equality too!

Question: How did the banana peel respond when it was Defendant of tripping someone?

Answer: It's a 'slip'-pery slope of accusations! I was just trying to help them practice their dance moves!

Interviewer: Welcome to the interview! Let's start with a fun question. Can you explain what a unicorn is?

Candidate: Of course! A unicorn is like that friend who promises to show up at your party, but you're never quite sure if they actually exist!

Interviewer: (Laughs) That's an interesting analogy! So, you're saying a unicorn is basically a mythical friend who's always surrounded by a bit of doubt?

Candidate: Exactly! Imagine you hear about this amazing creature with a horn on its head, magical powers, and a shimmering coat. You're intrigued, you want to believe it's real, but there's that tiny voice in your head saying, Is this too good to be true?

Interviewer: (Chuckling) I see where you're going with this. So, unicorns are like the enigmatic guests at the mythical creature party?

Candidate: Absolutely! They're like the VIPs that everyone talks about, but no one's quite certain if they've actually been spotted. People might claim they've seen a unicorn, but it's usually a story told with a twinkle in the eye.

Interviewer: (Laughing) That's a unique perspective! Now, if you had to give advice to someone hoping to spot a unicorn, what would you say?

Candidate: Well, I'd say, keep an open mind and a sprinkle of whimsy in your heart. Just remember, chasing unicorns might lead you on