I WISH I KNEW

By Sylvie Tamanda

I WISH I KNEW

 

Unlock a treasure trove of wisdom and insights in "I WISH I KNEW," a transformative guide born from the school of hard knocks. Within these pages lie ten invaluable lessons drawn from personal experiences, trials, and triumphs—a roadmap to navigate life's challenges with resilience and grace.

 

Dive into a compelling narrative that shares profound insights into resilience, growth, and the pursuit of personal excellence. Each lesson is a beacon of light, offering practical guidance and empowering advice that transcends circumstances and inspires positive change.

 

This book is a companion for anyone seeking to expand their understanding, embrace adversity as a catalyst for growth, and elevate their life to new heights. Join the author on a journey of self-discovery, where every page resonates with authenticity and hard-earned wisdom.

 

"I WISH I KNEW" is more than a book; it's a blueprint for transforming hardships into stepping stones toward a fulfilling and empowered life. Embrace these lessons, implement them, and witness the extraordinary changes they can bring.

 

Are you ready to embark on a transformative journey? Dive into "I WISH I KNEW" and discover the life-changing wisdom that awaits.

 

10 Lessons discussed:

1. The importance of independence and how to obtain it

2. Why and how the girl child is prone to vulnerability in the absence of a strong masculine figure

3. How to turn bad things into beneficial outcomes

4. The ability to deal with manipulative people

5. How to deal with betrayal and a lack of support from family members

6. How to protect yourself from wolves in sheep's clothes (dishonest people) 

7. How to safeguard your ears and heart from hurtful remarks while complimenting others

8. Education's Importance in Personal Safety and Well-Being

9. How to Plant Fruitful Seeds (the Power of Action and Consequences)

10. Strategies to harness your inner strength and transformative power

• Language: English
• Publisher: Young and Independent Books
• Release date: Dec 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223924630

Book preview

Sylvie Tamanda

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I Wish I Knew

©YoungandIndependent 2023 London, United Kingdom GU16 8XE

First published in Great Britain by YAI, an imprint of YoungAndIndependent Ltd 2023

Copyright © Sylvie Tamanda 2023

Sylvie Asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

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Dedication

To my late father, Adoh Cletus Tamanda.

Although tragic, your death was the catalyst for my experiences, learnings, and my exponential growth.

CONTENTS

Prologue  3

1: Seek your independence  11

2: Impact of an absent father  19

3: Power of resilience  40

4: Navigating relationships  61

5: Coming to terms with family dynamics   94

6: Embrace healthy skepticism  111

7: Ignorance is not bliss  137

8: Harnessing the power of influence     168

9: Planting seeds of consequence      198

10: Openness to change       222

Conclusion     253

PROLOGUE

I mustered the courage to write this book because, deep within me, I know it will change your life. The reason I know this is because the experiences that I share and the lessons I learned from the different scenarios healed me and forged a better future for me.

The truth is that there are three ways to learn in life.

●  The first way is through our own experiences (you make the mistake, feel the pain, and learn from it).

●  The second way is through other people's experiences (instead of making the same mistakes, learn from those who have already walked the path that you wish to walk and avoid the traps they fell into).

●  And the third way is through divine revelation. The wisdom, knowledge, or understanding we acquire from God (that is, when the spirit of God reveals things to you before they happen and directs your path, Eccles 2:26).

Keep Going by Austin Kleon appealed to me in a million ways. However, it was a statement he made on page two of his book that impacted me the most and inspired me to write such a personal book.

"YOU WANT TO READ A BOOK ABOUT X (IS THERE A BOOK ABOUT X?). IF YES, READ IT.

IF NO, WRITE IT. - Austin Kleon

His remarks provided me with the push I needed to embrace my authenticity as a writer and as a global citizen.

When I first told my sister that I was writing a book that I wished someone else had written, she praised me right away. However, after reading the first two chapters and realising how thorough, personal, and authentic the book was, her opinion of it changed. Are you sure you want to put your life out there like that? she said. Everyone will be aware of your business. Do you really want that?

And my response to her was.

I recognise how absurd this might sound to you; however, the most important aspect of my story is that it is authentic. My honesty is what will inspire and heal each and every one of my readers. You and I are where we are in the year 2023 because of all the lessons we have learned from others. Don’t you think it would be nice to flip the coin and bless others with the opportunity to learn from me? Today, my lessons have the same capacity to not only help others but also to

unleash my true power and magic, freeing me from the chains of fear, anger, and regret. Writing this book has inspired and healed me, and I have felt enormous suffering as long as I have held these stories inside."

For too long, I have buried these stories inside of me, and the agony has been great, but it all stops now.

My sister's attitude shifted because, prior to entering the public visibility, I lived a very low- profile life, as if I were hiding from something.

Except for LinkedIn, which I needed for work, I had no social media profiles.

That approach worked for many years until I took a big step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown; I quit my job and left my family behind. And I relocated to a different country to begin a new chapter in my life. COVID-19 has had a wide-ranging impact on many people. And the most significant impact it had on me was to

steer my life in an entirely different direction!

Something had to change because I was in a new country with no 9-5 job, no friends or family, and was overburdened with the care of two small children. First and foremost, I needed to firmly grasp my economic independence—that is, to carry on earning my own money as I had since I was 17—and then I needed to identify my IKIGAI, or raison d'être. After a prolonged and challenging search, I came across a 5-day vision creation experience coaching program that opened my heart's eyes and exposed me to a mission I never thought was in my league. Public speaking and sharing my story? No way! This was very out of character for me, so I resisted the change.

But how could I refuse to face my destiny and true purpose? And for how long did I really think I could run away for?

It took me a few months of dabbling before I caved in and decided to go all in. The first step was to set up a social media handle, so I

signed up on Facebook.

Next, I researched how to build a WordPress site and built one in 72 hours. Following that, I started a YouTube channel, a Facebook group, and a WhatsApp group.

When I was ready to take the leap into the center stage, I began slowly and maintained consistency by either writing one blog article, a Facebook post, a group WhatsApp message, or one YouTube video a week.

And, in tandem with my newfound purpose, I hope to leave my mark on the globe and be counted among those who shared the stories that change the world through this book.

The human species thinks in metaphors and learns through stories.

― Mary Catherine Bateson

The sole purpose of writing this book is to heal the world and make it a better place, for you, for

me, and for the entire human race. And as you read through the pages, harden not your heart, judge no one, but allow your spirit to learn every single lesson there is to learn. My hope is that you will be enriched by what you read, empowering you to teach others and find inspiration to share your own story.

SEEK YOUR INDEPENDENCE

No one will be in your life forever.

A light bulb with rays of light Description automatically generated When I was 16, my dad left for work and never came back due to a car accident that claimed his life. Moreso,

I have had my fair share of people walk out of my life, both voluntarily and involuntarily.

Many nights I went to bed and soaked my pillows with tears, fell asleep, and woke up to the reality of the world—nothing had changed. And after repeated attempts to drown my new reality in self-pity and emotional outburst, it dawned on me that no one was coming to save me- the onus therefore was on me to renew my faith in myself and to manage every curve ball that life throws at me.

You see, in the journey of life, we encounter numerous individuals who leave indelible marks on our hearts and minds. From family and friends to mentors and partners, these connections shape our experiences and contribute to our growth. However, it's essential to recognise that no one will be in our lives forever. This realisation underscores the importance of striving for independence, that is, not being reliant on

anyone outside us. Dependency on others, while natural and often comforting, can inadvertently hinder personal growth and resilience. Relying solely on external sources for happiness, validation, or support can leave us vulnerable to disappointment and setbacks when those relationships inevitably evolve or come to an end. Instead, fostering a sense of self-reliance empowers us to navigate life's challenges with strength and authenticity.

Being independent doesn't imply shutting others out or rejecting the value of relationships. It means understanding that your happiness, success, emotional well-being, and Ikigai (reason for being), should not solely depend on someone else's presence or actions. It is about cultivating a deep sense of self-worth, inner strength, and the ability to make decisions and take responsibility for your own life. Striving for independence requires self-reflection and personal

development. It involves developing skills, pursuing passions, and nurturing a healthy self- image. Investing in your own growth and learning allows you to become a self-sufficient individual capable of achieving your goals and finding fulfilment from within.

Moreover, independence enhances your relationships rather than detracting from them. When you’re self-reliant, you can engage