Poop!

By Alan MacDonald and David Roberts

Calling all Dirty Bertie fans! Dirty Bertie – the boy with nose-pickingly disgusting habits – is back for another helping of comic chaos! With ever-increasing madcap schemes and crazy capers, Bertie continues to delight his legions of fans, who revel in his revolting ways.
Join Bertie in Poop! his 34th adventure as he tries to prove Whiffer isn't the mystery pooper, scuppers Miss Boot's chances of winning Teacher of the Year and steals the spotlight on the set of a blockbuster movie.
Dirty Bertie is a hugely popular series created by award-winning illustrator, David Roberts (Ada Twist, Scientist – now a Netflix animated series, The Bolds, Suffragette: The Battle for Equality and Jack and the Flumflum Tree). Each Dirty Bertie story is around thirty pages long and split into chapters with plentiful illustrations, making it ideal for sharing or for confident readers to enjoy by themselves.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Little Tiger Press
• Release date: Feb 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9781788954839

Alan MacDonald

Alan MacDonald has written over 150 books, including the Devil's Trade and Axel Feinstein series for Scholastic, along with titles in the Dead Famous, Pickle Hill Primary and Double Take series. He is also a regular writer for the Oxford Reading Tree and has had picture books published by Little Tiger Press. Alan MacDonald started his working life in a travelling theatre company. In addition to writing and directing plays, Alan trained as a drama teacher. He has written stories and dramas for the BBC (both television and radio), as well as many children's books. Alan lives in Nottingham.

Book preview

For Billy and Bernard, woof! ~ D R

For Seb and Isabelle with love from

Eric the cat ~ A M

CONTENTS

TITLE PAGE

DEDICATION

POOP!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

TEACHER!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

EXTRAS!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

COPYRIGHT

Bertie liked going to the local park after school. It had a playground, gardens and bags of open space. It was the perfect place for a kick about with his friends while Whiffer zoomed off chasing squirrels. Today though the park was different. There were large signs everywhere…

7

What’s going on? asked Bertie. Eugene and Darren looked baffled.

Mr Monk, the grumpy head gardener, came marching towards them.

You’ve read the signs then? he said. The Council wants the park kept safe and clean so I’ve introduced some new rules.

Dog fouling? said Bertie. Dogs can’t play football.

Very funny, said Mr Monk. It means no dog mess. From now on any dog I catch doing their business will be banned.

Banned? Bertie couldn’t believe his ears. If dogs couldn’t poop in the park where could they poop?

8

But I always clear up after Whiffer, he argued.

Mr Monk shook his head. Makes no difference, rules are rules, he said. No poop in this park – you’ve been warned.

9Bertie watched him stomp off back to his wheelbarrow. He thought the day couldn’t get much worse, but someone else had arrived – Know-All Nick, and he was carrying a poodle in his arms.

Since when did you have a dog? asked Darren.

I got her last week, actually, boasted Nick, setting her down. This is Flossy, isn’t she the cleverest dog in the world?

Bertie thought Nick and