Bees!

By Alan MacDonald and David Roberts

From award-winning illustrator David Roberts comes Dirty Bertie – the boy with nose-pickingly disgusting habits! With comic chaos and madcap schemes, these highly illustrated stories are perfect for new readers.
Join Bertie as he has a brush with some angry bees, deals with his warring grannies on a trip to the park and tries to smuggle Whiffer into a very smart hotel.
David Roberts is the illustrator of many picture books and fiction titles, including Julian Clary's THE BOLDS, SUFFRAGETTE: THE BATTLE FOR EQUALITY, Julia Donaldson's JACK AND THE FLUMFLUM TREE and IGGY PECK, ARCHITECT. With over 30 titles in the hugely popular DIRTY BERTIE series, each book contains three short stories perfect for fans of HORRID HENRY, DOG MAN and Pamela Butchart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Little Tiger Press
• Release date: Feb 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9781788953979

Alan MacDonald

Alan MacDonald has written over 150 books, including the Devil's Trade and Axel Feinstein series for Scholastic, along with titles in the Dead Famous, Pickle Hill Primary and Double Take series. He is also a regular writer for the Oxford Reading Tree and has had picture books published by Little Tiger Press. Alan MacDonald started his working life in a travelling theatre company. In addition to writing and directing plays, Alan trained as a drama teacher. He has written stories and dramas for the BBC (both television and radio), as well as many children's books. Alan lives in Nottingham.

Book preview

For Poots McToots ~ D R

For Harry Fitzgerald ~ A M

CONTENTS

TITLE PAGE

DEDICATION

BEES!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

GRANNY WARS!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

BARKING!

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

COPYRIGHT

Bertie was having breakfast with his family. He spread a thick splodge of honey on his toast and bit into it.

Mmm, nishe honey, he said, licking his lips.

Actually, that’s Mr Monk’s honey, said Dad.

Mr Monk makes honey? said Bertie.

7

Yes, at least his bees do, replied Dad.

Bertie was amazed. He had no idea that Mr Monk, the grouchiest neighbour on their street, kept bees.

Where does he keep them, in his bedroom? asked Bertie.

Suzy rolled her eyes.

He’s got a beehive in the garden, explained Dad.

Bertie’s eyes lit up. A beehive! Why had no one ever told him you could keep bees as pets? He’d had all kinds of pets, including worms, fleas, mice and a spider, not to mention Whiffer – but bees would be even better! For a start they’d be the easiest pets in the world. You didn’t have to take bees for a walk or clear up their poo from the garden! 8Bees would just buzz around happily all day making you loads of yummy honey.

How do you get the honey? he asked. Do the bees make it in jars?

9Suzy put her head in her hands.

No, the bees collect pollen and make honeycomb in their hive, explained Mum, wiping the table. It takes a lot of time and patience to produce honey.

Bertie didn’t think it could be that complicated – bees made honey and he was happy to eat it – what could be simpler?

So could we get some bees?

Definitely not, said Dad.

Don’t even think about it, said Mum.

Why not? asked Bertie. I don’t mind looking after them.

Bees aren’t pets, said Mum. "You