Flavors of Confidence: S.O.B.E.R. Method

By Massimo Rigotti

Flavors of Confidence: S.O.B.E.R. Method offers a holistic approach to recovery that extends beyond traditional addiction treatment. By combining Stoic philosophy with reflective Observations, personalized Behavior modification, and Execution of positive changes paves the way for the Restoration of self. This book serves an indispensable guide f

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rigotti Press
• Release date: Oct 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9798987553350

Massimo Rigotti

Massimo originated in Nebraska, though life took him to both coasts and many places between, in cities large and small. He has had several distinct career paths, yet most want to talk to him about his work in entertainment. Struggling nearly two decades before finding sobriety on his own terms. Today, Massimo strives to help those with addictions of all types find the confidence to build a fulfilling, productive, and sober life. His first book, Flavors of Confidence, takes you on a journey through his lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder that spiraled into uncontrollable addictions that led to his death. Given a second chance at life, Massimo took a methodical look at his past and developed Flavors of Confidence - a ten step repeating method for continuous personal improvement to ensure long-term recovery, relapse prevention, and strong personal confidence. When he isn't writing, on the road motivational speaking, coaching private clients, or otherwise exploring the world, Massimo works as business consultant. Massimo enjoys windshield time traveling down any backroad, competitive figure skating, researching the obscure, and spending time disconnected from the modern world with those his heart cherishes most. He aspires to ranch in the Nebraska Sandhills.

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Flavors of Confidence

S.O.B.E.R. Method

Flavors of Confidence

S.O.B.E.R. Method

Massimo Rigotti

Rigotti Press

Lincoln, Nebraska

United States of America

Disclaimer: The information provided by the author in this book is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The author is not a medical professional and the information contained herein should not be used to diagnose or treat any health or medical condition. Any decision you make related to your health and medical treatment should be made in consultation with a qualified healthcare professional. The author and publisher expressly disclaims any liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which may be incurred as a result, directly or indirectly, of the use or application of any of the contents of this material. Always consult with a healthcare provider before making any decisions related to your health. The S.O.B.E.R. Method™ and other processes in this book are not an endorsement and may not work for the reader. For more information about Flavors of Confidence S.O.B.E.R. Method™ and tools, please visit sobermethod.com.

Published by Rigotti Press

Lincoln, Nebraska, United States

www.rigottipress.com

Flavors of Confidence: S.O.B.E.R. Method

Copyright ©2023 by Massimo Rigotti

All rights reserved. First Edition

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without express written permission from the copyright holder except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, please contact via email at [e-mail] or Rigotti Press, P.O. Box 6745, Lincoln, NE 68506-0745, United States of America.

Distributed by Rigotti Press.

For ordering information or special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact via email at [e-mail] or Rigotti Press, P.O. Box 6745, Lincoln, NE 68506-0745, United States of America.

Cover design by Jeff McDonald. [e-mail]

Cover photograph by Brea Coan. [e-mail]

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023919904

Paperback ISBN-13: 979-8-9875533-2-9

Hardback ISBN-13: 979-8-9875533-4-3

eBook ISBN-13: 979-8-9875533-5-0

dedicated to

Dallis

...reappearing unexpectedly &

encouraging me to soar to greater heights.

Contents

Preface i

Method Overview 1

What are Flavors of Confidence? 7

Stoic 15

Observe 31

Behavior 59

Execute 87

Restore 107

The S.O.B.E.R. Difference 131

Device Addiction is Real 135

Continuous Improvement 145

Resources 155

Preface

If you want to make an omelette, you may eat some egg shells. Wait, that’s not quite right. Let’s have another go at it.

Like all great tales, the hero rising triumphantly begins to crack under the pressure of his success. In order to reach his peak, he must hunker down and camp a few nights while the blizzard overtakes him. While waiting it out he reflects, retools, and ultimately rises stronger.

Enough with the metaphors! First, no, I did not relapse. Far from it. Since releasing my first book this past March, I have had the unique opportunity to interact with hundreds of readers from around the world, given countless interviews, begun speaking to audiences about Flavors of Confidence™, and achieved success in my most recent figure skating competition. Everything appears to be fantastic. Or is it? I am a master of disguising my emotions.

I discovered that while my original ten step program outlined in my first book works, the strategy I taught a handful of people over the years, it must be made profoundly easier to follow. I set out to change the world’s view of addiction recovery and there is no possible way anyone, including me, can keep all ten steps straight. That was a problem.

In early May, I began to face some dark thoughts. Frustrated with how clunky my program was, I suddenly felt my efforts were pointless. I found myself in a depression free fall. I had not felt that despondent since right after Samantha was murdered.

I swiftly withdrew from everyone and directed my focus inward, determined to find a way to move forward. June marked one of the darkest periods in my life, but I managed to navigate it without ever entertaining the idea that drugs or alcohol could provide a solution to my problems.

I continued to dedicate my efforts to developing Flavors of Confidence™, channeling all my energy into Step One. I revisited the extensive list of over 100 probing questions I had compiled over the past seven years. Then, in the middle of August, a moment of enlightenment struck me. I realized that I had faltered by not adhering to the Keep It Simple, Stupid approach when I initially devised my program. But, in hindsight, why would I have? The original method had been hastily drafted in the wee hours of New Year’s Eve in 2016, tailored specifically for my needs, not for a broader audience. I had been unduly harsh on myself, and this self-criticism had plunged me into a distressing depression. Regrettably, it was a realization that only dawned on me after completing my first book.

The solution is a revised system with all the original elements. It is even easy to remember! The S.O.B.E.R. Method™ is what you use to get sober. How perfect is that?!

Ok, Massimo, I really prefer the original. That’s great! Do what works for you. If this were software, which some of you know is a large part of my origin story, think of S.O.B.E.R. as version 2.0 of my original program. The 1.0 version works yet it’s a little clunky, might cause unusual crashes, and you may forget what step you are on or what’s next.

So, what’s S.O.B.E.R. all about? It is a five step process that functions as a continuous self-improvement program to achieve and maintain sobriety.

Stoic, Observe, Behavior, Execute, Restore

This book begins by walking you through the genesis of my work with Samantha, back when we were helping each other find confidence. Then it continues through each of the steps to provide more in-depth guidance for you to find success in the method. I have included a blank page or two in each chapter for your notes. Keep this book with you as a guide. I weave some personal lessons from my past, where I can, and conclude with a chapter on how to consistently kindle your own inspiration for continuous self-improvement.

If you are going to AA, NA, or any other group help meetings, please continue until you feel S.O.B.E.R. is the answer for you. I am confident S.O.B.E.R. is the best long-term relapse prevention method! By measuring progress and continually improving by reinforcing your gains, you’ll succeed.

Let’s build your unique Flavor of Confidence! – Massimo Rigotti

Method Overview

The Flavors of Confidence S.O.B.E.R. Method™ is the most unique process available to achieve and maintain sobriety. When I invented my own method, I never imagined it might be successful for others. I am invigorated by the prospect of changing how the world approaches sobriety and the confidence to be alone with their thoughts.

The original ten step method was difficult to follow regardless of the outstanding results. Over the past six months, I listened to feedback – including from myself – and created the S.O.B.E.R. Method™. This book is designed to be compact enough to carry with you everywhere. Use it as your reference guide and that ultimate tool to maintain sobriety.

First, get yourself a notebook or journal that fits your style. I will refer to this as your SOBER Journal throughout the book. I personally could not survive without my Ampad 22-157s. I have dozens of them dating back decades with daily entries. I left a couple blank pages at the end of each section for you to take notes and get started. Recording your daily progression of thought and actions are important. The question I get most frequently at this moment, Massimo, can’t I just type on my computer? Or Can I voice-to-text on my phone? My answer is always, no. Let me share why it is important that you physically write your thoughts.

Taking a pen or pencil in your hand and guiding it across a piece of paper triggers deeper contemplation within your mind. When you engage your body, specifically your hand, in the act of writing, it necessitates intricate cognitive processes. This involvement introduces a tactile dimension to your thinking process, fostering a more profound connection with your thoughts. Moreover, it enhances your ability to commit those thoughts to memory and encourages sustained contemplation throughout the day. These aspects collectively enhance your prospects of succeeding in the Flavors of Confidence S.O.B.E.R. Method™.

Have you ever noticed that students who rewrite their notes tend to perform better in their studies? This observation underscores the significance of physically engaging with your thoughts. So, I encourage you to grab a notebook and your favorite pen as you embark on this journey.

Second, be honest and forthright with yourself. You are telling your truth. Your life experience is unique. Disagree? How many identical twins do you know that perceive the world slightly different even though they generally have more common shared experiences than any two people? In my experience, two random people can witness the same event and perceive it entirely differently. Why? Because of their personal history and past trauma. You both see things different. That is ok. It is ok to be different from others. What is not ok? Telling other people that they must conform to what you believe as your truth. Celebrate the differences of your beliefs. Take a moment to understand why another believes something so dramatically different from you. Reflect on it. Do not force others to accept your view of the world. Learn from each other. Expand your mind to other possibilities, you will grow spiritually, and be happier. I assure you. Try it. The goal is for you to be honest with yourself, about who you are, and not what you believe others say you are or what anyone else wants you to believe you must be. Your quest is finding you, your truth. This is a path you walk alone.

Finally, this is going to be difficult. You will want to quit. You may slip up and relapse. Get up and start again. It is worth it. If you read my book Flavors of Confidence: A Reflection for Those in Need, you know that even after I died I still relapsed half a dozen more times. Death was not enough of a deterrent for me to end my addiction. I am alive and nearly eight years sober now because I work the S.O.B.E.R. Method™ every day. I never give up on myself. I encourage you to read my memoir Flavors of Confidence: A Reflection for Those in Need to gain a greater understanding of how I crafted my Flavor of Confidence. It is an inspirational tale.

I have a lot of cheerleaders now. You will too! Watch how the bleachers of fans cheering you on grows every year. A friend threw me a surprise five year sober party with many people attending. Only two people said good work after my first year. Regardless, you must do this for you, not them. It feels good to have the outside recognition yet remember you are the most important person. You are digging for your own confidence. Your objective is to not require validation of any kind, from anyone, ever again. Confidently, you.

In your journey towards sobriety, it is important to acknowledge that there may be other challenges and toxic influences in your life. However, remember this: as you stay focused on your path to a healthier, sober you, these negative elements tend to fade away on their own. Often, people will distance themselves from you without any prompting, simply because they can see the positive changes taking place within you.

Occasionally, you may encounter situations where a close friend or a family member clings tightly to you. This is a common human tendency. We often make every effort keep others close to us to prevent them from surpassing us. These individuals may be your biggest critics and may even offer you the very thing you are determined to leave behind: your drug of choice. Their actions stem from a fear of losing you as you transform.

However, I encourage you to maintain your focus on yourself and your journey. Lead by example and show them what positive change looks like. It has been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and as you continue your journey towards sobriety, you may find that these very individuals start to follow in your footsteps. They, too, may begin to explore sobriety, inspired by your dedication and your transformation.

I have personally witnessed a few instances where individuals, much like you, embarked on their journey to sobriety. Over time, they inspired those around them, including the ones who were initially skeptical or resistant. Today, these same people are leading sober lives, and they reached out to me to express their gratitude for being inspired to become better versions of themselves.

You have the potential to be that inspiring figure in your circle. Know that everyone desires to be admired by at least one person. By remaining sober and gaining greater confidence, you have the capacity to inspire dozens of people to change their lives for the better. I wholeheartedly believe in your ability to achieve this, and I encourage you to continue on this path with confidence and determination. You’ve got this!

I have found that this method is not only effective for individuals dealing with addiction challenges but also for those who are already sober. I have had the privilege of mentoring entirely sober individuals using these techniques, and they have achieved remarkable improvements in personal confidence, inner spiritual growth, more rewarding