Self-Love for Black Women: Heal from the Racial, Relationship, and Childhood Trauma That’s Holding You Back, Stop Devaluing Yourself and Cure Toxic Self-Talk by Treating Yourself like Someone You Love: Self Help for Black Women

By Nya Love

As a black woman, you've navigated a world that often overlooks your struggles and diminishes your worth. But what if you could break free from the chains of societal expectations and embrace your true self?

 

In "Self-Love for Black Women," Nya Love takes you on a transformative journey, offering practical tools and strategies to help you overcome past traumas, improve relationships, and cultivate unshakable self-worth.

 

From childhood wounds to racial trauma, Love delves deep into the impact these experiences have on your self-love journey. Drawing from her own personal story, she shares relatable anecdotes that will resonate with you, providing a solid foundation to connect and engage with the book's teachings. With her guidance, you'll discover how to rise above the challenges that have held you back and step into your power as a black woman.

 

• Unlock the healing process and move forward from past traumas
• Learn how to build and maintain healthy relationships that uplift and support your self-worth
• Embrace and celebrate your unique beauty, from your hair to your skin to your body image
• Cultivate self-reliance and prioritize self-care practices that nourish your well-being
• Develop the confidence and resilience to navigate a world that doesn't always recognize your worth

 

 

Are you ready to unapologetically love and empower yourself? Take the first step towards liberation and join the countless black women who have transformed their lives through "Self-Love for Black Women." It's time to reclaim your power and create a future filled with self-love, joy, and fulfillment. Click the buy button to start reading right away!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nya Love
• Release date: Sep 6, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223904557

Book preview

Self-Love for Black Women

Heal From the Racial, Relationship, and Childhood Trauma That's Holding You Back, Stop Devaluing Yourself, and Cure Toxic Self-Talk by Treating Yourself like Someone You Love

by Nya Love

© Copyright 2023 - All rights reserved.

The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without direct written permission from the author or the publisher.

Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against the publisher, or author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the information contained within this book, either directly or indirectly.

Legal Notice:

This book is copyright protected. It is only for personal use. You cannot amend, distribute, sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part, or the content within this book, without the consent of the author or publisher.

Disclaimer Notice:

Please note the information contained within this document is for educational and entertainment purposes only. All effort has been executed to present accurate, up to date, reliable, complete information. No warranties of any kind are declared or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not engaged in the rendering of legal, financial, medical or professional advice. The content within this book has been derived from various sources. Please consult a licensed professional before attempting any techniques outlined in this book.

By reading this document, the reader agrees that under no circumstances is the author responsible for any losses, direct or indirect, that are incurred as a result of the use of the information contained within this document, including, but not limited to, errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.

Table of Contents

Table of Contents..............................................................3

Table of Contents..............................................................3

Introduction...................................................................8

Introduction...................................................................8

Chapter 1: What Is Self-Love?...................................................10

Chapter 1: What Is Self-Love?...................................................10

Not to Be Confused With Narcissism or Consumerist Self-Care.........................10

Not to Be Confused With Narcissism or Consumerist Self-Care.........................10

Self-Care....................................................................11

Self-Care....................................................................11

Fostering Self-Compassion and Self-Appreciation...................................12

Fostering Self-Compassion and Self-Appreciation...................................12

Know Your Worth............................................................14

Know Your Worth............................................................14

Journaling Prompts ...........................................................16

Journaling Prompts ...........................................................16

Chapter 2: What Is My Childhood Wound?.........................................18

Chapter 2: What Is My Childhood Wound?.........................................18

The Big Five and Attachment Styles ..............................................18

The Big Five and Attachment Styles ..............................................18

Attachment Styles.............................................................21

Attachment Styles.............................................................21

The Pain of Self-Hate..........................................................26

The Pain of Self-Hate..........................................................26

The Mother Wound............................................................28

The Mother Wound............................................................28

The Father Wound............................................................29

The Father Wound............................................................29

Journaling Prompts ...........................................................30

Journaling Prompts ...........................................................30

Chapter 3: What Is My Racial Wound?............................................32

Chapter 3: What Is My Racial Wound?............................................32

The Neurological Effects of Racial Trauma.........................................32

The Neurological Effects of Racial Trauma.........................................32

The Only Black Girl in Class ....................................................34

The Only Black Girl in Class ....................................................34

One of Many Black Girls in Class................................................37

One of Many Black Girls in Class................................................37

Journaling Prompts............................................................39

Journaling Prompts............................................................39

Chapter 4: Why Doesn’t He Love Me?............................................41

Chapter 4: Why Doesn’t He Love Me?............................................41

One Flesh...................................................................41

One Flesh...................................................................41

Is It My Skin?................................................................43

Is It My Skin?................................................................43

Is It My Body?...............................................................45

Is It My Body?...............................................................45

Is It My Hair?................................................................47

Is It My Hair?................................................................47

Journaling Prompt.............................................................50

Journaling Prompt.............................................................50

Chapter 5: Is It My Mommy and Daddy?...........................................51

Chapter 5: Is It My Mommy and Daddy?...........................................51

I Am Not My Mother..........................................................51

I Am Not My Mother..........................................................51

I Am Not My Father...........................................................54

I Am Not My Father...........................................................54

It Was Not My Fault but It's My Responsibility .....................................57

It Was Not My Fault but It's My Responsibility .....................................57

Journaling Prompt.............................................................59

Journaling Prompt.............................................................59

Chapter 6: Is It My Skin?.......................................................60

Chapter 6: Is It My Skin?.......................................................60

Midnight....................................................................60

Midnight....................................................................60

Set Boundaries in Your Relationships.............................................60

Set Boundaries in Your Relationships.............................................60

Modify Your Media Consumption................................................62

Modify Your Media Consumption................................................62

Engage in Photographic Self-Analysis.............................................62

Engage in Photographic Self-Analysis.............................................62

Representation ...............................................................63

Representation ...............................................................63

Journaling Prompt.............................................................64

Journaling Prompt.............................................................64

Chapter 7: Is It My Body?......................................................66

Chapter 7: Is It My Body?......................................................66

The Vessel That Carries Me Through Life..........................................66

The Vessel That Carries Me Through Life..........................................66

Gaining Strength Through Exercise ..............................................67

Gaining Strength Through Exercise ..............................................67

Dancing.....................................................................67

Dancing.....................................................................67

Intimacy ....................................................................68

Intimacy ....................................................................68

Let Go of Perfection ..........................................................69

Let Go of Perfection ..........................................................69

If Body Positivity Feels Disingenuous, Try Body Neutrality............................70

If Body Positivity Feels Disingenuous, Try Body Neutrality............................70

Journaling Prompt.............................................................70

Journaling Prompt.............................................................70

Chapter 8: Is It My Hair?.......................................................72

Chapter 8: Is It My Hair?.......................................................72

Your Hair Really Is a Crown....................................................72

Your Hair Really Is a Crown....................................................72

Get Used to Your Natural Texture................................................73

Get Used to Your Natural Texture................................................73

Establish and Maintain a Hair Care Routine.........................................73

Establish and Maintain a Hair Care Routine.........................................73

Follow People Who Are Creating Content With Textures Like Yours....................73

Follow People Who Are Creating Content With Textures Like Yours....................73

I Am Not My Hair............................................................74

I Am Not My Hair............................................................74

Journaling Prompt.............................................................75

Journaling Prompt.............................................................75

Chapter 9: Who Got Me Like I Got Me?...........................................76

Chapter 9: Who Got Me Like I Got Me?...........................................76

Conclusion..................................................................79

Conclusion..................................................................79

References...................................................................80

References...................................................................80

Introduction

The Black woman. Somehow, that term has become political. The suffering of the Black woman is something that th0se who wish to see justice be brought forth have worked tirelessly to bring about. And some of it has worked. Since the abolishment of slavery, Black women have worked hard to become powerful. Today, many Black women are successful businesswomen, actresses, government officials, teachers, doctors, and lawyers. The list goes on, yet society still finds a way to look down upon this demographic.

Despite our hard work, not just to produce value to society, we are still viewed in a less than bright light. And what is political is personal. We take the pain that we endure in the world and hold it close to our hearts, ignoring the fact that it constantly rips us from the inside. At this time in life, given the right mindset and opportunities, I truly believe it is harder for a Black woman to love herself than it is for her to become successful at her chosen profession. Funny, isn’t it? Love, which is something that we should give freely, comes hardest to us, but being Harvard graduates, First Lady’s, Vice-President, and world-renowned singers seems to be much easier? There is a chasm, and we need to find a way to stop living in it.

I am a Black woman who has struggled to love herself because her first memory as a child is of being clearly different from her peers. Although I did not suffer direct racism from the children my age, I certainly felt it from the adults. It didn’t help that my parents made me painfully aware of her Blackness. They thought they were protecting me when they told me I couldn’t walk around barefoot like the other little white girls because people would just assume that I was poor. Maybe they were right. But little did they know, they robbed me of the innocence of being a carefree and magic-conscious child. Instead , I became a careful, anxious, and self-conscious child, and being Black was akin to a dark cloud that followed me everywhere.

The amount of times I looked in the mirror and just wished I could be a few shades lighter, with my curl pattern a little looser, is something that I am unfortunately deeply ashamed to admit. My life experiences were largely affected by this notion, and whenever people of other races showed a disinterest or dislike toward me, despite my agreeable and kind nature, I knew it had some sort of racial aspect attached to it. My life has been lived in this dual way, with a part of me wanting desperately to care for me and make myself feel validated and seen, while another part of me hated myself  for my kinky hair, dark skin, curvaceous body, and wide nose.

Beauty, which is sold to us as one of the most precious possessions a woman can have, is something I struggled to accept that I harbored because of all of the societal messaging that I had internalized. Many years later, I found myself in a deep depression, not understanding why I didn’t want to be alive or fight for the things I knew were good for me. A few therapy and self-reflective years later, I found that the source of my pain was racial, parental, and gendered. And although I was unable to change my childhood or fundamentally change the way society viewed me as a Black woman, I started to slowly change how I treated myself. It wasn’t easy. It was actually really difficult, foreign, and I felt like a fraud for a large portion of that time. But the alternative was a metaphorical and literal death, and, despite all the pain, I couldn’t allow myself to squander the inexplicable magic that is life. I was given it for a reason, and I intended to find out what that reason was.

On my self-love journey, I discovered that true self-love, especially when it has never truly existed, feels a lot like parenting oneself and seeing the self as something that you are there to care for. Today, I can proudly say that I am healing, and I want to share some of the ways that I have overcome my depression, and began to accept and love myself as a Black woman. This book is for all of my melanin-infused ladies, and I hope that after reading it, you will be inspired with the spirit of self-acceptance and self-worth. I hope it helps to guide you to the path of healing from the traumas of your past while striving toward constructing a better and brighter future. It offers journaling prompts as well as actionable steps in hopes to help Black women improve their self-conception. Although this topic has been written about by a copious amount of Black authors, this book includes disciplinary approaches (both psychological and scientific) with concepts such as attachment styles, big five personality types, neurobiology, and misogynoir to address some of the ways that Black women may have lost their self-love. Our journey begins with a single step and desire. Let’s step into self-love.