Self-Care for Black Women (3 books): 52 Weeks to Cultivate Positivity & Raise Your Self-Esteem: Self-Care for Black Women, #4

By B. TRUE

★ LEARN TO SAY YES TO YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS ★

In this collection you can find the most effective books for helping you gain control over your life and mind, improving your self-esteem, your self-control, and your relationships.

 

When people are new to self-care, they tend to assume that it mostly means personal grooming, long hours in a bathroom, manicures, and yoga sessions… And they're not wrong! Self-care DOES include those things.

But when you think well, self-care runs much deeper than just a bubble bath – it includes emotional self-care as well. Since life has become increasingly harder for everyone these days, here, in this book, I'm going to talk exactly about it.

 

In this revolutionary book, you'll find ACTIVITIES THAT HELP YOU CONNECT, PROCESS, AND REFLECT ON A FULL RANGE OF EMOTIONS

 

In this collection you will find:

BOOK 1: EMOTIONAL SELF CARE FOR BLACK WOMEN

PART ONE: THE BODY

• Tips For Taking Care of Yourself in The Morning and In the Evening
• 10 Exams Every Woman Should Take
• The Importance of Sleeping Well
• A Contribution from Nature
• The Importance of Eating Well
• Tips For Your Hair
• Skin Care Tips

SECOND PART: THE MIND

• Emotional Malaise
• Build Serenity
• Love Yourself
• Forgive Yourself
• Establishing Boundaries
• Emotions
• Claim Your Space
• Getting Rid of Toxic People

BOOK 2: SPIRITUAL SELF CARE FOR BLACK WOMEN

• Who Are You? Where Are You?
• How To Find Yourself: Rediscover Your True Identity
• Self-Esteem Exercises: How to Learn to Accept Yourself
• Daily Exercises to Put into Practice
• 4 Practices to Improve Self-Awareness
• 30 Exercises to Learn to Love Yourself

BOOK 3: BLACK WOMEN'S MENTAL HEALTH

• Be Kind to Yourself
• Self-Respect Is an Important Element in Self-Recognition
• Confronting Your Fears
• Accept Imperfection
• Intuitive Eating: Eat Healthily, Eat Well, Have Fun
• Don't Let Them Steal Your Power
• Forgive Yourself
• Believe In Yourself
• Do Not Limit Yourself
• Be Inspired   
• Your Goal Must Be Your Inspiration
• Change Your Life Forever!
• AND MUCH MORE!

Are you excited?

Look no more!

BUY our book now and know everything about Cultivate Positivity & Raise Your Self-Esteem!

• Language: English
• Publisher: B. TRUE
• Release date: Jan 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201932213

Book preview

Introduction

Black women are subject to severe stress, victims of two discriminating conditions: BEING A WOMAN AND BEING BLACK.

LET'S START WITH NEWS from some time ago to introduce this book.

No longer under lock and key. The straightening and softening products that African American women use for their frizzy hair were kept in locked cabinets. In the wake of the anti-racism movement, various pharmacy chains have decided to abandon this rule. But the news attracted great attention, helping to reopen a decades-old and hitherto unresolved conversation. On the one hand, the fact that the products typically used by the black population were kept under lock and key confirmed the existence of a prejudice about the honesty of these customers. On the other hand, the abundance of such products reminds us how African-American women must make extensive use of them to be better accepted in the workplace. In short, in one fell swoop we could see two signs of that discrimination that according to Black Lives Matter is so ingrained that people hardly even notice it.

Forms of discrimination such as suspecting black people of being thieves, such as discriminating against a woman because she has frizzy hair, and therefore not presentable (as claimed by famous chains of shops, schools, offices and even the Armed Forces) are just a tiny example of what African-Americans experience on a daily basis. I spend more than a hundred dollars a month to straighten my hair, Rhonda tells us, the cashier of one of the pharmacies who kept the products under lock and key - If I didn't, I would have curly hair, an afro, and I would probably no longer have the job.

Various voices have wondered how it is possible that there is still so much underground racism, especially towards black women, when African-Americans are seen in prominent positions in the world of entertainment, politics, culture, sport. As cities demonstrated, for example, we saw the mayors of Chicago, Washington, Atlanta, San Francisco, Charlotte, and New Orleans navigate turbulent waters with a mixture of diplomacy, political shrewdness and a hint of maternal instinct. While the president was impeached in December and January, we listened to female African-American lawmakers and senators grilling witnesses with a determination and legal acumen that their male counterparts often failed to demonstrate. And during the lockdown, journalists like Joy-Ann Reid, Gayle King and Robin Roberts, of NBC, CBS and ABC, were among the faces that informed us hour after hour, while big entertainment stars, like Beyoncè set an example by committing to financially helping small family businesses in difficulty. Wherever one turns, that is, one sees African-Americans at the top of society, models of intelligence, success, generosity.

But the picture is deceptive, because if you go down a few steps, you discover how much these models are still a rarity, how much the path of a black woman is full of obstacles, and the risks of ending up on the sidelines are much greater for her than for the rest of the population. A study of women in the workplace, conducted annually by the LeanIn Organization and the consulting firm McKinsey and Co. reveals that women of color are underrepresented at all levels, are rarely promoted to managerial positions, exposed to discrimination on a daily basis and less helped by colleagues. According to Kim Ashby Fowler, lawyer and human resources consultant: Diversity means inviting a person to a party, inclusion means inviting them to dance. That is, diversity begins to be widespread and accepted and women of color are seen in all sectors of society, but very rarely do they appear in management sectors, i.e., where they dance.

Black women must in fact overcome a double glass ceiling, not only the one they share with white women simply because they are women, but also the secular one reserved only for them because they are African-American. The numbers prove it. The National Bureau of Economic Research did an experiment: it sent 5,000 resumes in response to 1,300 job postings, and found that resumes with the name of an evidently black woman had half the chance of being taken into account. With total equal experience and level of studies, an Emily would receive twice as many calls as a Lakisha. And if it is true that in percentage terms there are more women of color on the job market than white women, however only 26% obtain jobs in which they earn from $50,000 upwards, compared to 48% of white women.

THE STEREOTYPES

In the fate of a black woman, like a white woman, many elements play, from the state in which she was born, the city, even the neighborhood, not to mention the role of the family. The spread of reality TV programs has helped to spread the stereotypical image of the single black woman with children, obese, dependent on public assistance and ready to scream at the slightest provocation. The reality is different: among all the people who receive public assistance, the percentage of whites and blacks is practically identical, with 38.8 and 39 percent respectively. The percentage of blacks and whites with a high school diploma is the same, but only 23 percent of them graduate, compared to 30 percent for whites. Leaders like Michelle Obama, star Oprah Winfrey, tennis player Serena Williams, scientist Kimberly Bryant are just a few of the names of African-American women who are trying to teach girls new horizons and new confidence. The moment seems decisive because even women of color are finally invited to dance. Large companies and institutions try to get rid of racist symbols or behaviors. But activist Sharon Chuter, founder and president of a well-known cosmetics company, warns: Thank you for these words and these attempts. But now follow the action, and hire African American women. Get busy or keep quiet.

Even today, being a woman of color is extremely difficult. Black women have the right to think for themselves. To face big battles, you need to be comfortable with yourself at all levels. We cannot defeat racism and discrimination alone, but we can face all these challenges to the best of ourselves, if we are satisfied and proud of ourselves.

There is a lot of talk about taking care of yourself, but can we really do it?

The fast-paced world continually pushes us to run for work, success, but also for fun. We are scrambling to get the latest smartphone model, or to watch the latest TV series. We are continually urged to respond to notifications on Whatsapp or Fb. Not to mention the fact that work often chases us everywhere. We are in fact always connected and therefore we feel obliged to reply to work emails even when we are at lunch on Sunday, on the ski slopes, or on the beach in summer.

Everything conspires to continually push us out of ourselves. Our life is more and more marked by speed and superficiality. Instead of taking care of ourselves, everything conspires not to give us a breather to understand who we are and what we really need to be happy.

The result is that we often find ourselves exhausted and drained. Even after a day that should have been one of peace and fun.

Is this how we want to live? Is this taking care of yourself?

The importance of taking care of yourself

We no longer know how to do it. It seems almost selfish to take time for ourselves when everyone around us is in need. But if you want to truly love others, you must have something to give. It is therefore not selfish to think about yourself as well. It is the only way we have to be able to take care of others. Have you ever noticed what they say in the emergency instructions that are given on the plane? First you have to put on your oxygen mask and only then, work to help people in need. Similarly, even in everyday life, you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Indeed, how can we best care for others, how can we offer them our loving attention, if we don't have that much for ourselves? So lay off the feelings of guilt when you take care of yourself. There is no reason, because when you take care of yourself you are charging the batteries to have more to give to others.

Taking care of yourself, what does it mean?

Taking care of yourself also means taking care of your health, eating healthily, getting enough sleep, exercising. However, it is not enough. Taking care of yourself means taking care of yourself completely. Taking care of oneself takes time, patience and self-knowledge, obtained by attentive and loving listening to oneself.

It means knowing oneself and having made peace with one's limitations, accepting and welcoming oneself therefore, with strengths and weaknesses.

It means learning to be present to oneself and therefore living everyday life with awareness. Being present to yourself implies knowing how to live in the present and not regret the past or fear the future.

Taking care of yourself means loving yourself globally. It means realizing that we are made not only of body, but also of mind and spirit. Those who take care of themselves also realize that they are not an isolated individual, but know that they are a person who needs a healthy relationship with others.

Knowing how to take care of yourself requires respect, esteem and love for yourself.

Taking care of yourself can be as simple as taking a walk in the woods and breathing deeply. Or reading a good book sitting in a comfortable armchair. It can be taking tea with girlfriends. There are so many different ways we can - and must - take care of ourselves.  Self-care is an art that the ancient Greeks already took very seriously. To take care of themselves they recommended, among other things:

✓  write your own reflections,

✓  study,

✓  actively lazing around, as opposed to an idleness made up of vices, distractions or senseless waste of time (such as spending hours on social media),

✓  read,

✓  meditate.

However, it is not always necessary to do them all. Each of us must know how to listen and look inside to understand what he needs most. It is therefore up to you to understand what is important to take care of yourself right now. No one can take the place of you on this inner journey of deep understanding and listening. Beyond the actions of caring for yourself, which you feel you particularly need now, there are actions that in general are always useful.

Right alternation of activity and rest

It is not possible to always be productive and efficient. After you have worked, created and produced, you need to take the time to regain your energy. It is the active idleness of the ancient Greeks.

This means, for us moderns, learning anew how to assign a time and place for everything.

We must therefore avoid being always connected with the smartphone, wasting hours interacting on Facebook. This is not how we can rest and regain energy.

We need to allow our mind not to be continually over-stimulated. Hence the importance of knowing how to disconnect from the day's activities and relax. This obviously also includes getting enough sleep. Let's remember the great value of sleep to live your life better.

It is only the healthy alternation of activity and rest that allows you to be efficient at work, present to yourself and available to others.

Physical activity and body care

Taking care of yourself also involves the health and well-being of the body. For example, the benefits of physical activity on the brain and body have been known for some time. The ancients already said mens sana in corpore sano to reiterate how much care for the body could benefit the mind. Body care must be understood in a broad way. Knowing how to breathe effectively is, for example, important for mind, body and emotional management, especially stress. The benefits of correct breathing are now also confirmed by science. Breathing well is a simple and effective method of taking care of yourself. A way that does not require any additional time. In fact, you can breathe in every moment. If your body is well, its well-being affects and extends to your whole person. It allows you to have more energy, more ability to concentrate and more strength to pay attention to yourself and others. It therefore favors the good result of any activity and satisfying interpersonal relationships.

It is about having a healthy relationship with your body. You have to treat it well, with healthy and balanced food, the right rest and the right physical activity. But without making it the meaning of your life. The health of the body must serve to allow you to enjoy life more fully and not be an end in itself.

There are a lot of people in this world who spend so much time checking their health that they don't have the time to enjoy it anymore.

Josh Billings

Listen to yourself

It is important to take the time, even a few minutes a day, to be present only to yourself. In this way we can become aware of our emotions and our needs. We can understand if there is any discomfort to take care of. Or we can enjoy our well-being.

You can do this for example in the shower, or enjoying a cup of tea, or walking home (or part of the way).

For example, a good way to listen to your needs can be to keep a diary, such as the famous 5-minute diary, in which to write your reflections, feelings, experiences.

Positive approach to life

Taking care of yourself also means getting used to thinking positively. Therefore, it is helpful to cultivate your positive emotions and surround yourself with people with a healthy, positive and creative approach to life.

It does not mean to be convinced that everything is always great. In the life of each of us there are a thousand problems and difficulties. However, our distrust, discouragement or pessimism does not help to solve the problems.

We can complain that the rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice that the thorn bushes have roses.

Abraham Lincoln

Those who take care of themselves know how to look reality in the face. Precisely for this reason they are able to have a positive, trusting approach, which allows them to fully draw on all their resources.

Maintain relationships with others

We are not isolated individuals, but we can only be fully ourselves if we are in relationships with others. Cultivating good and healthy relationships with others is therefore an important aspect of taking care of yourself. Taking out time to share with loved ones and friends is never a waste of time. Provided that the relationship is guided and supported by mutual listening and acceptance.

To conclude

There are many other things we can do to take better care of ourselves. Reading, meditating, engaging in the study of something interesting, cultivating a hobby that allows us to express our skills and strengths to the fullest, and more.

Once you begin to listen to your needs and love yourself a little more, you will figure out what to do to take care of yourself in a fully satisfactory way.

And you will find that you have so much more to give to others.

Part one: the body

Chapter 1 - take care of your body

It is not uncommon to consider the high interest in aesthetics and in the care of one's physical appearance as a cold and superficial attitude, making a clear distinction with aspects of life considered instead deep or interesting to analyze. This denotes great ignorance, since taking care of your body - when it does not become an obsession - means taking care of your well-being in a holistic way.

To be comfortable with ourselves, it helps to feel good outside as well. The relationship with our body can mark a before and after in our life: feeling beautiful as we are, is a sign of a good state of mental health. Worrying about our hygiene, about the fragrance we emanate or about the harmony and beauty of our body is not a symptom of superficiality: it indicates that we love ourselves.

Aesthetics and personal care are our allies.

Who has never heard that every big change must correspond to a change of image? It is a popular and banal saying, yet it hides a part of the truth. Sometimes people feel they need a radical change, but they don't know how to get it. They lack the inspiration and the means or perhaps the will.

It is for this reason that a change on an aesthetic level can give rise to the inspiration and the drive to change course with one's decisions or one's routine. This is a well-known theory within the oncology department of many hospitals: it is common practice to offer patients aesthetic services to support them and help them counter the effects of chemotherapy.

Caring for your physical appearance as a cancer treatment

In these cases, it is customary to think that health is the most important thing and that those with cancer should focus above all on a standard cure of the disease. However, one wonders if those who face these topics have ever lived such an experience, if they know the true meaning of health in its most global sense. If you know what it means for a woman to have a mastectomy or for any person to suddenly lose all their hair, including eyelashes, or see their skin go yellow.

Although it is good not to be relentless against an approach based on the treatment of the physical symptoms of the disease, it is right to know that each individual lives in a different way with the aesthetic changes that the disease brings with it. This is why some naturally show the effects of the disease without trying to hide them, while others find it normal to curb these effects by resorting to various techniques so that their physical appearance does not reveal the tiring battle in which they are involved. They are two different ways of dealing with the disease.

There is a very inspiring story about this issue. It was 1988 when the wife of Dr. Michael Brinkenhoff, Gayle, was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. Throughout this complex physical and emotional process, Michael's only desire was to help Gayle look and feel better.

As a result, in 2006 he created a brand of innovative cosmetics designed for women with cancer, for these women to get their lashes and brows back. This is nothing more than an example of how aesthetics is not just a cold and superficial question, but which, on the contrary, can become a reflection of the struggle and the desire to move forward.

Losing interest in your physical appearance is not a good sign.

There is a strong link between neglecting one's physical appearance and the severity of some psychopathological disorders. Suffice it to say that one of the indicators of the worsening of the psychological state of many people is the abandonment of physical appearance care. During depression, it is common to experience a general loss of interest in activities that were previously considered enjoyable. An anhedonia towards some aspects of life, as well as the inability to enjoy it or to find stimuli. No wonder the ability to look in the mirror and look beautiful is not one of the attitudes of depressed people. There is no mention of the time that an individual can spend on treating his skin or his image. It is about the pleasure of looking and feeling good, regardless of whether you use make-up. Those who lose interest in life also lose interest in themselves.

The difference between viewing aesthetics as an imposition or a source of benefit

Your body will benefit from the care you give it and it will be grateful to you, as long as it comes from your own desire and not from an imposition. As in most cases, the line between pathology and normality is very thin. The choice to consider taking care of one's physical appearance a priority is absolutely respectable, even healthy. On the contrary, feeling in a state of anxiety and pressure because you do not fit into a certain model of perfection, and trying to do everything possible to achieve it, can lead to dire consequences.

Some people may compulsively invest huge amounts of money and feel that they have never reached the level of perfection that others demand. There are those who come to measure their worth as a person according to their weight and appearance, definitely crossing that thin line.

Dismorphobia is the psychological disorder for which an individual is unable to carry on a normal life because of a real or imaginary physical defect. The person spends countless hours examining his physical appearance and can get to undergo an endless series of treatments and surgeries without ever feeling completely satisfied. It is an ever-increasing and increasingly widespread disease among minors due to the increasingly powerful influence of advertising and the internet.

The most important thing to be able to feel good in your shoes is never to take an external model as a reference. Starting from your own image, visualizing your body without prejudice and discovering the parts of it that you want to improve based on how you feel day by day.

Sometimes it will be a question of improving what we see, others of acting on the relationship between us and what we see. Always remember, nothing stands alone and body and mind are one, even in their mirror version. Do not suffer because you would like to see a better reflection, and remember that the smile is a perfect accessory and ally to improve yourself.

Have you ever wondered why it is important to take care of your body? We live in a frenetic society, which would always have us in a hurry, always busy, always available to chase appointments that follow one another without a moment's pause. Work, family, home, extra work commitments... And in the end, we never have time to dedicate to ourselves. And this is bad. We should love each other a little more.

Taking care of yourself, your body and even your mind is essential, first of all to regain contact with ourselves. Lost as we are in other matters; we tend to forget who we are. And then because by doing so we make our body stronger; we find that control of ourselves that perhaps we had lost. And that it is good to find again soon to live well. Because life flows. And so, it is good to remember to love each other day after day.

You know when it is said that the body is a temple? Well, any temple without a guardian could be subject to vandalism and neglect: in other words, taking care of your body also means resetting the brain and reprogramming it in order to lead a healthy life free of vices or habits dangerous for our health. To do this, then, there is no shortage of authoritative sources from which to pick out useful information: such as Elsa Puset and her work The book of small revolutions, full of tips for leading a truly healthy life and for being happy with ourselves and with the results that we have achieved with conviction and effort.

How to take care of your body starting from the mind?

Each part of our body must be understood as an organism in its own right, which requires localized care and attention: all without falling into a mere aesthetic question, given that our health is definitely more important than the superficiality of keeping our hair combed or of showing off abs or buttocks. And here the care of ourselves starts first of all from the brain, which must be stimulated to adopt habits consistent with our goal.

For example, sport is an exceptional viaticum not only for our physical well-being, but also for the mental one: and if you are wondering why, know that physical activity increases the production of hormones known as endorphins, responsible for our happiness and satisfaction with ourselves.

Body care: what aspects to consider?

Now that you know how to prepare your mind for contentment, you will also have to find out how to help it manage your body, because the conviction must always and in any case start from your concrete gestures.

That said, nutrition also plays a central role in the well-being of the body and mind: giving up junk foods, fatty foods and fried foods is therefore highly recommended, as is the adoption of a diet based on vegetables and fresh fruit, with a wise dosage of carbohydrates and proteins, such as the Omega 3 contained in blue fish.

Living respecting the body: other useful tips

Living in a healthy way, respecting our body and therefore respecting ourselves, also means giving up some routines that could affect the freshness of our body more than necessary. First of all, vices such as cigarettes and alcohol are not good at all, and indeed can lead to premature aging of our organs and our skin. Just as it is not good to live a sedentary daily life, without physical movement. Similarly, it is advisable to take all precautions when we expose the skin to the sun, to avoid spots and melanomas. Finally, always dedicate some time to your favorite hobbies to combat stress.

Self care: habits not to be neglected

Doctors and psychologists agree: taking care of yourself is good not only for the body, but for the mind. The so-called self care is increasingly present in studies of all kinds that show that dedicating time every day to self-care is an important weapon for one's well-being. Even on days like these when movement is reduced for the common good, it is important not to passively abandon yourself to the routine and take advantage of it to get back in touch with your body and your beauty. Taking a small section of the day to heal will not only make time go by faster, but this focus will help keep stress and nervousness in check, giving new energy and fighting melancholy.

Beauty routine for body and mind

Washes and perfumes, hair, hand and nail care, creams to moisturize and nourish, energizing tonics, specific treatments: every moment of the beauty routine is marked by products with specific functions and which, if of high quality, are extremely effective on our body. They fight wrinkles, tone, leave skin smooth and hair hydrated. But the benefits of the beauty routine don't stop there. Pampering has been shown to lower the levels of the stress hormones, adrenaline and cortisol. Making daily gestures that do us good creates a trace in the mind and helps it not to get lost in too much stimuli that risk overloading it. Another physical benefit is that on the immune system, which is fortified. Making yourself beautiful increases your good mood and this creates other concrete benefits such as improving the quality of sleep and relationships.

Feeling good is a good feeling

The human being is a complex system, made up of a physical, a social and a psychological plane. Each plane communicates and affects the others. This is why many psychologists argue that thoughts and emotions are able to influence the body: stress and nervousness are linked to anxiety and depression and increase the risk of contracting problems such as heart disease, asthma and joint problems.

Self-satisfaction and pampering are stimuli for good moods, which is able to improve existing problems and lower the risk of contracting diseases. Create a personal care plan for yourself to follow every day that is simple and stimulating, and choose a place where you feel comfortable, dedicating yourself at least 10 minutes a day. You will feel the benefits immediately!

Not just beauty treatments: visualization exercises

Of course, loving yourself is not limited to just creams and treatments. It is essential to learn to listen to your emotions and carve out moments to fully experience them: do not stay all day in pajamas, do some physical activity (even domestic), focus your mind on artistic activities and devote yourself to culinary experiments with a light heart - they can be part of this well-being process. For total relaxation it is recommended to try the visualization technique. What does it mean? Stop your mind and imagine something we like and that makes us relax. Thinking about positive situations creates beneficial effects on the body by relaxing the nervous system. Turn off the TV and set the mood: lights, candles and music. Sit in a comfortable position and imagine you are in a place you love: imagine smells, noises, colors.

Guaranteed effect!

Chapter 2 - tips for taking care of yourself in the morning and in the evening

I don't have time is an excuse that rhymes with forgetting about yourself: the time to take care of yourself is precious, and it doesn't mean taking time away from others, but simply loving yourself more. 5 minutes in the morning and 5 in the evening are enough to pamper yourself, indulge in some relaxation and do good to body and spirit.

I don't have time, even when time may be there. How many times have we heard it and how many times have we perhaps said it? It is one of the favorite phrases of many women who use it as an excuse to justify moments of laziness, especially when it comes to beauty routines. I don't wear makeup because I don't have time, I don't wear cream because I don't have time, let alone have time to go and touch up the color of my hair. A hectic life is hidden behind us and what once were cuddles for themselves become distant memories, gradually transforming beauty into neglect. There is no doubt that work, family and the daily routine between taking care of the house, the children, shopping and so on and so forth takes up most of the day.

But don't we really find 5 minutes