Lee Hacklyn 1970s Private Investigator in Saturday Mourning Cartoons

By John Leister

Queens, New York City.  1973.

 

Liam and Sean Fitzgerald, co-Presidents of Fitzgerald Animation Studios, hire

Lee to investigate the murder of voice actor Vic Marsden.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John Leister
• Release date: Jul 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223941132

Book preview

CHAPTER ONE

What are you selling?  Encyclopedias?  Vacuum cleaners?  Fuck off.

He was forty-ish, broad-shouldered and wide in the face; and clad, in what used to be called, inexplicably, a wife-beater, that, judging by the look of it, and the smell, performed double-duty as a cleaning rag.

Filthy didn’t even begin to cover it.

His jeans had holes in the knees—he was ahead of his time—and his bare, dirty feet reminded me of the first book I ever read that had more words than pictures, J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Hobbit.

There was a half-smoked stogie between his teeth, which were little, black stubs of rot and neglect.

He stood in a boxer’s stance, his left fist, against his jaw.

Readiness is all.

I was at a two-story Brooklyn house that didn’t look strong enough to survive anything more than a mild wind.

There was give in the boards under my feet.

A cockroach ran across the doorframe. 

Apparently, his toilet was backed up.

The smell had a tangible quality.

I had to stifle an urge to puke.

I’m not here to sell you anything, sir.  I couldn’t sell a hamburger to Jughead.  My name’s Lee Hacklyn.

Hacklyn?  What kind of name is that?

A last one.  Lee’s my first one.  No such thing as a stupid question, although you sure put that to the test, just now, ha ha.  Are you Lou Maple?

That’s Mr. Maple to you, fairy.

Mr. Maple, I’m a private investigator.

And I’m Robert Redford.

I’d show you my license, but your fist is in a fighting position and I feel threatened.

You should.  I’ve been in prison.

"Well, that’s a thing to feel proud of, isn’t it?  That’s