Fairy Tales of the Mind: Tales of Mental Illness and Abuse

By Ailina Walker

Every story has a beginning, but what happens if you don’t remember that beginning? What if you realise that the few memories you have, are only of violence and neglect?

Anxiety rises, fear of abandonment is constant on your mind, fear of being unloved is eating you up, and the world you envisioned to be a fairy tale is destroyed. So, you comfort yourself by letting your mind wander, and you wait for someone to save you even after the abuse, despite knowing full well that it’s unhealthy. Knowing that those daydreams you have of dying are unhealthy.

You survived the physical abuse and the neglect by escaping reality and continually dreaming of fairy tales, but you became too engrossed in those dreams. Those dreams resulted in you creating an alternative world in your mind in which you craved to stay in – like an addict, forgetting entirely that there existed a world outside of those dreams.

This is a collection of poetry about mental illness and the impact of child abuse in adulthood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jun 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9781398433786

Book preview

Copyright Information ©

Ailina Walker 2023

The right of Ailina Walker to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398433779 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398433786 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgement

Thank you to those of you who are taking the chance and time to read this book. Especially to my sister, who supported me during those difficult times.

Trigger Warning

Please note before reading that there is a risk for emotional distress. Especially for individuals who have experienced childhood abuse.

Dedication

To those who don’t know why they cry at night,

You are precious, and I love you.

For future parents,

Hug your child and kiss them goodnight.

To the little girl that was me,

I don’t remember you, but I try to imagine that there were times you were happy too.

Engrossed in Fairy

Tale Dreams

Once a long, long time ago, there was a young child, not much older than ten.

Her name was Jasmine, and her family was of royal blood.

Making her royal as well.

To the outside world, they were seen as the perfect family.

The most adored and the most loved but inside the castle was a different story.

Jasmine’s mother was hurting her. Her mother always told her never to tell a soul, and so Jasmine never did.

She went to school with bruises hidden beneath her clothes and never told a soul, but she did more than that. She stopped talking to anyone.

Not to her teachers or friends, not even to