The Last Resort, or How To Make It In the Music Industry

By Matti Charlton

When something is impossible, the average human has enough intelligence to realize how stupid it would be to attempt such a thing.

Let's use an example to make this a bit more concrete.

It's common knowledge that flapping your arms and jumping off of a tall building won't result – ever – in suddenly taking off and flying.

No, the inevitable conclusion of immediately plummeting to the ground is frightfully obvious to any sane person.

You could ask anyone on the street:

"Do you think it's a good idea, to jump off a tall building flapping your arms?"

To which the response would be probably some variation of:

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Let's humor the argument for a moment, and follow this hypothetical dialogue:

"No, seriously, I'm just trying to figure something out."

"There's nothing to figure out. What a moronic question. Are you on drugs?"

So, I suppose that might be the only exception. If our subject was on some serious dose of psychedelics, then maybe…

"Yeah, actually. I just took a few hits of LSD."

"Acid? Really? How… retro I guess… Hmm. Okay, but… You're not driving, are you?"

"No, I don't have a license."

"That's not what I asked."

"That's fair. No. I'm not driving."

"Okay. A few hits of LSD?"

"Well…"

"What?"

"Okay, it was more than a few hits."

"Oh, God. How much more."

"Like a sheet…"

"Jesus."

"…or two…"

It's at this point that the average person might face-palm.

But then it would dawn on them:

"Uh, what's your name?"

Oh, shit.

"The narrator didn't give me one."

Fuck. Right. Let's call our subject Frank.

"Oh wait, they just did. My name's Frank."

"Nice to fucking meet you, Frank. I'm–"

Dammit. Ted.

"–Ted, apparently."

"Okay, Ted, and where is this tall building, anyway?"

Fine. They're both sitting at an outdoor cafe, at separate tables, in downtown New York. Manhattan. Lots of tall buildings, plenty of opportunities to try to fly.

"Frank, you're the one who asked ME if I thought it was a good idea to jump off a tall building flapping my fucking arms."

Right.

"Okay, you're right Ted, I guess those LSDs made me forget my point of view for a moment. But you never answered my question."

"That's correct, because anyone - even a moron - knows that if you try to jump off a fucking tall building all you end up doing is painting the fucking sidewalk red."

Geez. Who wrote these characters.

"But I think I can fly, Ted."

"Listen buddy… to be frank…"

"I'm Frank. You're Ted, remember?"

Cute. But Ted continues:

"If I were you - like if I was Frank… and if I thought, I really truly fucking believed that I could fly… then acid or no acid, I wouldn't take such a leap as my first attempt."

"You wouldn't?"

"Hell no. Look at these fucking skyscrapers."

He gestures casually around him at the towering buildings.

Frank nods.

"So why wouldn't start by trying to take off from the fucking ground first, buddy?"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Matti Charlton
• Release date: Apr 29, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223180937

Matti Charlton

Matti Charlton is writer, designer and recording artist. They live in Toronto, Canada with their service dog, Quentin.Matti is autistic, queer and transgender and writes passionately about social issues and modern technology; most recently, with their book "Homelessness broke ChatGPT" casting a critical eye on the bias of the popular AI software. Matti has also written several children's books and young adult novels.Matti is an advocate for trans issues, mental health and poverty, especially homelessness and addiction.Matti's career has spanned a wide range of disciplines, from software development and art direction to fashion design, music production and writing. In 2023, they published their 12th album of electronic pop music, "Almost", and their first fiction novel "Dendrome".Matti created the first transgender-owned underwear company in the world, Retromatti Athletics, in 2014, manufacturing the entire line from their apartment in downtown Toronto. The company expanded to provide digital artwork to craft makers during COVID-19.Matti's website: https://matticharlton.com/On Facebook: https://facebook.com/matticharltonOn Instagram: https://instagram.com/retromattiMatti's books: https://books.matticharlton.com/Matti's music: https://spotify.matticharlton.com/Matti's online business: https://retromatti.com/

Book preview

Also by Matti Charlton

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The Actor

The History Of The Music Industry

The History Of The Music Industry: 1991 to 2022

The History Of The Music Industry: 1970 to 1990

The History Of The Music Industry: 1950 to 1969

The History Of The Music Industry: 1930 to 1949

The History Of The Music Industry: 1910 to 1929

Standalone

A Stop Wise Clover For Gorgo's Wife

Dendrome

Malavak

The Ballast Boy

Ghosts of the CN Tower

Cip & Margot

Homelessness Broke ChatGPT

Early Short Stories 1996-1997

The Last Resort, or How To Make It In the Music Industry

Alex & Mrs. Lee

The Authority and Responsibilities of the Mayor of Toronto

AI Software Wrote This Book: A Fiction Of Non-Fiction By A Computer

Tiny Homes for Tent Encampment Residents in the City of Toronto

Maybe Ghost Stories

Matti Charlton: The Complete Poetry Collection

Matti Charlton - Toronto Mayoral Election Campaign Writings May 2023

The Last Resort

6

How to Make It In

The Music Industry

l

matti charlton

Copyright ©2022-2023 matti charlton

The Last REsort

matti charlton

Contents

Chapter 1 1

Chapter 2 5

Chapter 3 9

Chapter 4 19

Chapter 5 25

Chapter 6 31

Chapter 7 37

Chapter 8 41

Chapter 9 45

Chapter 10 53

Chapter 11 57

Chapter 12 61

Chapter 13 65

Chapter 14 69

Chapter 15 75

Chapter 16 81

Chapter 17 85

Chapter 18 89

Chapter 19 95

Chapter 20 103

This book is a work of fiction, however the chapters discussing the current state of the music industry are the author's best attempt at facts.

Dedicated to Ryan Beattie.

Copyright ©2022-2023 matti charlton.

originally written wednesday the 1st day

of march in the common year of 2023.

written from the city of toronto,

in the country of canada, on planet earth.

Chapter 1

When something is impossible, the average human has enough intelligence to realize how stupid it would be to attempt such a thing.

Let’s use an example to make this a bit more concrete.

It’s common knowledge that flapping your arms and jumping off of a tall building won’t result – ever – in suddenly taking off and flying.

No, the inevitable conclusion of immediately plummeting to the ground is frightfully obvious to any sane person.

You could ask anyone on the street:

Do you think it’s a good idea, to jump off a tall building flapping your arms?

To which the response would be probably some variation of:

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Let’s humor the argument for a moment, and follow this hypothetical dialogue:

No, seriously, I’m just trying to figure something out.

There’s nothing to figure out. What a moronic question. Are you on drugs?

So, I suppose that might be the only exception. If our subject was on some serious dose of psychedelics, then maybe…

Yeah, actually. I just took a few hits of LSD.

Acid? Really? How… retro I guess… Hmm. Okay, but… You’re not driving, are you?

No, I don’t have a license.

That’s not what I asked.

That's fair. No. I’m not driving.

Okay. A few hits of LSD?

Well…

What?

Okay, it was more than a few hits.

Oh, God. How much more.

Like a sheet…

Jesus.

…or two…

It’s at this point that the average person might face-palm.

But then it would dawn on them:

Uh, what’s your name?

Oh, shit.

The narrator didn’t give me one.

Fuck. Right. Let’s call our subject Frank.

Oh wait, they just did. My name’s Frank.

Nice to fucking meet you, Frank. I’m–

Dammit. Ted.

–Ted, apparently.

Okay, Ted, and where is this tall building, anyway?

Fine. They’re both sitting at an outdoor cafe, at separate tables, in downtown New York. Manhattan. Lots of tall buildings, plenty of opportunities to try to fly.

Frank, you’re the one who asked ME if I thought it was a good idea to jump off a tall building flapping my fucking arms.

Right.

Okay, you’re right Ted, I guess those LSDs made me forget my point of view for a moment. But you never answered my question.

"That’s correct, because anyone - even a moron - knows that if you try to