Flying With Clay Feet

By Orfixit

Do you think feelings are real?

To know the unseen, love, hate, crying or screaming--are these real?

Open your mind, clear away space and time.

Learn to believe, share in unexplained treasure we were designed to receive.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 28, 2023
• ISBN: 9798886167672

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Flying With Clay Feet

Orfixit

ISBN 979-8-88616-766-5 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88616-767-2 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Orfixit

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Preface

Once Upon a Time, Without a Care

Assuming the Position, Brought to My Knees, God Help Me, Please

Life Reduced to Post-Its

In Freefall

Seeing Things for the First Time

The Winds Are a-Changing

Spiritual Milk

One Day

Bad Relationships Sink Ships

One Thing Better than a Crutch—Two

Have Hope, Will Travel

So Alone, Hard lessons

Here's Looking at Me

Baby Steps

This New Strange Love

Cattywampus

Work Is Where I'm At

Follow the Bouncing Ball

Building with One Block at a Time

Peaking Over the Edge

I'm Going to Be a Better Man, God Says I Can

The Winds of Change

Coming Out of Hiding

Searching for Sense

Hit with a Tuning Fork

Tick Tock

Practice, Practice, Practice

Not Drinking, the Brain Still Thinking

Catching Up to My Tale

Season Greeting

House of Mirrors

Can't Stop

If the Shoe Fits, Wear It

What Almost Gets You Makes You

Fight or Surrender

So Much to Give Up, So Little Time

Doing Time

Two Alone, Come Together

I Wear Sunglasses When I'm Not Too Bright

Too Many Pillows for a Pillow Fight

Current Events

The Cross in My Wires

One by One

Transformation

Now, Not Sure, Not Where, Only How

Steady, Ready, Go!

One Must Rest While Gleaning the Best

Dusting Off My Shoes

In Plain Sight

Working the Willing

Ladder of Days—Climb through the Hawse

Spitting with the Wind

Yet at a Crawl, Still Not a Fall

Life Skips upon a Day

Slap Happy

Growing Out of Myself

Love the Power

Breaking Free from Me, Me, Me

Charity

Falling Up

Punching Through

Digesting

G-Force

The Switch

Light in Shadows

Round Up

Running on Roller Skates

Justifiable

Humble Pie

Clean Up On Isle Live

Current Events

A Pile of Days

Say What

Something from Nothing

Fear

Scientific Prayer

History of Mystery

Making Work

Divine Invention

Kicking Real-Time

Simple as Popping a Pimple

Growing Every Which Way

So Close

Freely Given

Relax

Yes, We Can

Happy Days Are Here Again

Pass the Salt

Just Saying

What a Joke

Filling Up Space

If I Can, You Can

Perfect Mess

Good Days Are on Us

Question a Lesson

Gifts from Heaven

About the Author

I need to start this day in good Spirit.

Heavenly Father, the prayer I pray, please hear it.

A world of thought.

All but confusion brought.

Father, you lead.

Those around me in need.

Bless us all.

Your will, not ours, be done.

All glory to you, through your only Son.

11/24/19

Thank you, Heavenly Father.

Another day is born.

I rest my faith on you and your Son, Jesus Christ.

May you smile this day on Sheila and me,

Let us grow in your Spirit of love.

Your will be done.

A pile of crap, a dead seed, amazing, the whole village it will feed.

Preface

The year 1962, a tongue-tied baby boy was born.

Young and still crawling, was washed away in floodwaters, in the last moment was saved, plucked from doom by his father.

Images still plain as day. My parents raised me as best as they could. Colorful artists, atheist belief, raised this free bird, long hair in the breeze.

The last of four, the others that led, bright scholars, athletes,

Lost was the last. Dyslexics, hearing and speech in impaired, couldn't even jump. The victim was born.

Drugs and alcohol leveled the field, a story of life under heavy fog. At fifty, the child found himself lost, hopeless, and alone. Any answers to my questions were all but lost in oblivion, by way of bottles, legal, and illegal drugs. Coupled with lust, clueless, and crushed, couldn't see past his own nose.

Assuming the position, broken down on his knees, God saw fit to step in and save him, hearing all the silent pleas. Then it got worse. On a sea of despair, floating on some ice in the heat of the sun, facing the sobering fact, I may survive.

The truth, helpless, hopeless, and drowning in my own mess, I survived. Dyslexic and using drugs and alcohol from the age of ten, reading and writing wasn't even an afterthought. Yet God throws bones to dogs. Left to my own, raised without faith, only the Bible could teach me the answers I had to learn.

This search for God, likened to a dog chasing his own tail, found me here. God showed loud in a peace I had never even dreamed.

All because I humbly asked a God for help. Driven by a powerful Spirit of hope, God has me reading and rhyming, listening and learning. Only heaven knows why. There is a clear and present opportunity in these times we live for much needed love and mercy. So be it, as I learn a lifetime in such a short time, I am what I am, I can't, but God can.

In the moments I get out of the way, in Christ and in the Holy Spirit, our heavenly Father has safely placed me on these pages, and may all the credit be His. It's not my fault; to see in the light of it, just ask for yourself.

Respectively submitted,

Orfixit

Once Upon a Time, Without a Care

Just a small child for a moment, then washed away. Flashes of the peace all but lost till today. Now a dream to return to a time when there wasn't a care. Fearless, clueless, just riding the wind, a father and mother protecting the child within.

A world of time, taken away. Measuring up, my limitations all on display. Altered, not knowing who to be, never again, feeling free.

Went to school, the writing on the wall. A fool can't read a simple written rule. Left behind, stuck in rewind, the child left behind.

Chasing cheap thrills.

How does time fly by when your high. Anything tough, why try? Roller coasters and fast cars. Fast women open wounds fester without scares. Getting tired, can't run. Searching for calm, shade from the burning heat of the sun.

Invincible, beer muscles, young and stupid, without principles.

A lot of time passed by, never quit asking where or why.

Doin' time, not knowing of the crime. Not knowing the sin is so simple to begin.

Learn where's to blame, look in the mirror, to thyself share the blame.

Right out of the shout, the hand of victim cards I was dealt were hard to get a grasp. Sex, drugs, and rock and roll owned my soul.

At fifty, stuck in stupid most of my life, turning to God for help seemed bright. For the first time with an unaltered mind, reviewing answers, I on my own I could never find.

1

Assuming the Position, Brought to My Knees, God Help Me, Please

Born 1962, April 2, 2014, not a clue on what to do. A married man with two grown kids did the opposite of the right thing to do. Jotted down some thoughts. Reading them may seem strange to me and you.

4/2/2014

She is back. I spoke to her, and she just jumps right back into my soul. I think she wants me back. What the f——k! Safe sex is easy when having none. She is still going through with her divorce. I have to get my W-2s from my wife and sign the car over to her. I have to get away from being married, no matter what happens. I can't be married while I move on with this new life. I will not be alone forever.

4/3/2014

I find myself a little down today. My mind once again off in outer space. The same place it always seems to be. I think I'm in love. What am I in love with? Am I f—ked up for feeling this way? I have nothing to explain this, I have lost every warm body I ever had. I am sleeping alone. Nothing is for sure, except that I am alone. So alone!

4/3/2014

My mind is so far out there. Need to stick a new plan. Get divorced and meet somebody else. Someone that wants me as much as I want them. My marriage was not enough. I had to fall for something new. I have to be careful not to get back into the same old grind again. Need to get divorced first.

4/4/2014

I'm back in the saddle again, there may be hope yet. Someday I may have my arms around her hot body again. She is so hot I can't believe it! Her lips are so sweet. I need to go home and get in shape so I know I'm holding her tight. If I ever get with her again, I better thank my lucky stars and don't lose her again. She makes me hot.

4/8/2014

Work is slow, time has stopped, I'm taking a half day, doctors visit to get blood results. Need to get a handle on my life. My son and I raked this weekend. Went off my meds this weekend, took to a handle of crown. I need to stick to my meds as long as I live this. What would make this better? She scares me. I have never known another woman with so much mojo. Plus, she isn't for sure. She may never come back. I wronged my wife so much she is gone. We still talk, what am I to do? Bills will get better when I finish paying the lease on the apartment. I need to start some easy stuff. The house needs lots of work. Window cleaning always makes the world look clearer.

2

Life Reduced to Post-Its

4/21/2014

Didn't take my Zyprexa last night. Need to keep track of my mood and make sure my thoughts don't get all out of whack. Solitude. Easter weekend was something else. Need to get divorced. Saw a lot of the wife, talked about a lot. Blank is so far away, don't have the balls to even call. She is what I long for, but I'm scared of her. I hope she wants me. I wish I was divorced, need to get it together, and find out what has become of me.

5/1/2019

So tired. The life ride is making me sick. Don't know if I'm tired or depressed. All alone, thought I wasn't, but my downer mood has left me all alone. I'll go home, and the dog will still love me. Helped my son with his car last night, he will still love me. My mom will love me. My wife may still love me, but I left her to the wolves. Now she has been taken up by another. Maybe I'll go home, do some shots, some pills, and take a nap.

5/14/2014

What the f——k? The end of another month. Need to pay the big bills again. Still longing to see her again, I can't even imagine what that would be like. Why am I so lost?

5/15/2014

Man, I'm a drunk! I need to lighten up on the booze! I'm all