When Religion Hurts...

By S.C. George

When Religion Hurts is a story about the potentially inhibitive effects of early childhood religious indoctrination. While the story itself is fiction, many of the events are based on the real-life experiences of the author and others who grew up as Jehovah's Witnesses. These real-life experiences are expressed through the personal and professional struggles of the main character in her unconscious and then conscious fight to break free from the psychological chains of religion. Like many who have experienced the heavy weight of religious control and manipulation, she believes she has to choose between her profession and her God. A person's chosen profession can be an expression of who he or she is. Denying oneself of a beloved vocation may actually be denial of who you are. Mailin is forced to grapple with this and many other issues as she strives to find her spiritual independence. Though the story focuses on the Jehovah's Witness organization, many of the truths uncovered can and should be applied to any religious system where the rules and rituals take authority over the individual, or personal relationship one should have with his or her Creator.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9781638607687

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Chapter 1: Planting the Seed

Chapter 2: Defiling the Seed

Chapter 3: Seed to Root

Chapter 4: Truth in Uncommon Places

Chapter 5: The Uprooting

Chapter 6: Breaking the Chain

Chapter 7: Breaking Every Chain

Chapter 8: The Strong Man Returns

Chapter 9: Forgiveness Is Key

Chapter 10: Jehovah Rapha

About the Author

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When Religion Hurts...

S.C. George

Copyright © 2023 S.C. George

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2023

ISBN 978-1-63860-767-0 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63860-768-7 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

The of seed of religion, when defiled, has great potential for evil.

—Sayer

Chapter 1

Planting the Seed

Afirst-time visitor to the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses may notice that there are no windows. There are no organs or pianos. The service is void of sounds of Hallelujah! or Praise the Lord! Instead, only one voice is heard throughout the sermon. On this day, it belonged to a short, bald, stocky man standing on the stage.

There is no chance for anyone who does not take this stance. All must submit fully to Jehovah's will in order to have everlasting life.

As he preached, a mother pinched her child on the thigh. The infant screamed.

Shut up! the mother whispered.

The child screamed louder. The mother violently grabbed the child from the seat. She left the main area inside a local Kingdom Hall in East Flatbush, Brooklyn.

On the front row, a little girl was dressed in her Sunday's best. Her facial expression communicated the taste or smell of something foul. She looked at her Mickey Mouse watch and sighed in disappointment.

We owe it to Jehovah…to tell others about his wonderful plans. And, sisters…you have a special place in Jehovah's Kingdom. Women are the ones who do the majority of the preaching work. Going from house to house, knocking on doors, standing on corners, walking, and talking to all they meet…about the good news of Jehovah's Kingdom!

The little girl's facial expression now resembled a child told the truth about Santa. The speaker concluded his attack on her senses. Like muscles relaxing after tension, her face returned to her normal carefree expressions.

*****

Twenty-five years later, the once-little girl now owned a condo in midtown Atlanta. Her neighborhood was filled with luxury cars. She observed the view from her patio, high above the city traffic below. She looked at her designer watch before returning inside and closing the glass door. She picked up the latest edition of Upscale Magazine from the sofa and placed it on a table that was positioned against the wall in the hallway near the entrance. In the middle of the table was a beautiful designer lamp. She placed the magazine to the left of the lamp. To the right of the lamp was a Bible. She quickly glanced at the Bible then turned away like she didn't want it to know she looked.

Downstairs, the valet brought her car to the front of the building as she exited the lobby.

Yah looking like yah made of money, Ms. Mailin! said the doorman.

Stop flirting, Manny…amma tell yah wife, she clapped back with an unfriendly smile.

Do that…she likes the way you look too!

I'm serious, Manny. Her manicured nails grabbed the door handle. Her designer shoes lift from the ground as she entered her vehicle.

I heard your car smells almost as good as you do, added the doorman.

Mailin stared at the valet.

I didn't tell him that, Ms. Mailin, he said.

If looks could kill, you'd be dead, boy! said the doorman to the valet. Thick brown leg one…thick brown leg two, the doorman mumbled as she sat in the vehicle.

The valet closed the door.

Cut it out! she said to both men. There's a clear difference between giving compliments…and being disrespectful!

My bad, Ms. Mailin, said the doorman.

I'll let it go this time… But do it again, see what happens…'cause I am not the one.

I apologize, Ms. Mailin, said the valet as she exited the circular driveway onto the street.

Najee played on the car radio as Mailin drove through the morning traffic.

Another accident? Damn! I don't wanna go this way, she said while making a right turn. Somebody's gonna get hurt here, she whispered as she made a left. What makes this city think a traffic circle is better than a simple traffic light? Like we need more confusion!

Twenty minutes later, she arrived at Emory Hospital. She exited the elevator and approached the nurses' station. She put on her white medical jacket. On the left side was a name tag.

Dr. Carter, good morning! said one of the nurses.

Good morning, ladies…and gentlemen. Are these my charts?

Yes, ma'am.

Who put these here?

Put what? said a nurse.

"These… The Watchtower and Awake! magazines."

I think it was Dr. Wang, said the same nurse.

Okay, well…you can tell Dr. Wang I put his magazines in the trash.

You puttin' 'em in the hazardous material bin? asked a nurse.

Yup… And if you see him, tell him I said next time, put 'em in the chapel…not here.

Yes, ma'am, said the nurse.

If Dr. Hassich calls for me, tell him I'm on my way down to surgery.

I'll let him know, Dr. Carter.

Hours later, Mailin and Dr. Hassich walked through two swinging doors. The twin doors closed, revealing the words Surgery Medical Staff Only.

Good job, Mailin…as always.

Thank you.

I've got to tell you, as head of surgery, I've been mentoring you for quite some time. I won't be in this position much longer…you do know that?

Yes…and I appreciate that, but I just don't want to move too fast.

You're my best surgeon, and… I think you're ready to take the lead. It's time for the student to become the teacher…start teaching someone else, like Dr. Wang.

Dr. Wang?

Yes. You can help him get where you are, like I did with you.

I'll try.

Hold on…stop for a second. Look me in the eye, May. I want you to take the lead in tomorrow's surgery.

No!

Why not? It's the next step for you.

I don't think I'm ready for that.

You know it's a requirement, right? You can't advance without taking the lead. What are you so afraid of? You can do these procedures with your eyes closed. You're that good.

I'm just not ready yet.

Okay.

Well, who's gonna tell the family the good news?

I'll do it.

Good… They're in the waiting room. Before you go, one more thing.

What is it?

You're talented… I can see the greatness inside of you…and I want to help you pull it out, but you've got to want it too.

I'm trying, Dr. Hass… I really am.

Moments later…

Where are they? Have you seen the Phillips family? Mailin asked a nurse.

They went down to the chapel.

The chapel? Damn.

From the outside of the chapel, she could see the silhouettes of the family through the thick glass door. With caution, her hands reached for the handle. Her eyes focused on the huge picture of a frosted cross engraved into the glass.

She murmured while she read the words carved into the glass under the large image of the cross, Find peace in his will? She retracted her hand like she's touched something hot and walked away.

*****

A few hours later, an elevator door opened. Clack, clack, clack! went the stiletto against the marble floor.

Hello! I'm here for my appointment.

The receptionist seated behind a glass desk picked up a phone. Dr. Beauchard, your 1:00 p.m. is here.

How's everything? asked Mailin.

Better and better each day.

Good… You look like you've settled in.

Bleep, bleep, bleep! sounded the phone on the desk.

Yes, ma'am… I'll send her back. She's ready for you, Dr. Carter.

Clack, clack, clack! Mailin approached a large brown door.

I really like this wood… I wonder what kind it is? she asked herself. Dr. Bridgette Beauchard, PhD, LPC! I love it, girl! she said while she read the plaque fixed to the large wooden door as she entered. Hello, Bridgette!

Hi, Mailin, good to see you.

Good to see you too. I love the new office and the door… The wood is so beautiful.

Thank you. We imported it.

I can tell. It's so refined.

So…is everything going well?

Yeah, I would say so…for the most part.

That's an interesting comment… Tell me what's not going well.

What do you mean?

You said ‘for the most part.' Tell me about the part that's not going so good.

Yeah…well…some of the same things still bother me.

Go on, tell me.

"Well, for one thing…this doctor left copies of the Watchtower and Awake! at the nurses' station, and…it really annoyed me."

"Watchtower and Awake!?"

Yeah, magazines published by Jehovah's Witnesses…religious magazines.

Oh…okay, I see. Why did that annoy you?

To be honest, I'm not…exactly sure.

Think about it…we've got time.

Forty minutes later…

I have one more question for you.

Okay.

We have five minutes left, so you can take your time with the answer. What do you fear most?

Mailin recalled when she was a child.

*****

She remembered what happened the Sunday morning when she heard that sermon at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses. After the service, seven-year-old Mailin was seated in the back seat of the family car. Her mother was in the passenger seat, and her father was driving.

Stop looking in that rearview mirror, Henry…you're gonna crash this car.

Just making sure my little girl is okay.

Your little girl, huh? said Mrs. Carter.

Maymay, you got something on your mind? You look worried.

I don't want to be a pioneer. I want to be a doctor! I want to be a surgeon!

Little girl! What did you say? asked her mother.

I said I want to be a doctor!

That's fine, May, you can be a doctor.

Don't you tell her that!

Baby, don't tell this child she can't be what she wants to be…that's wrong, and you know it. And stop cussing me out wit' your eyes, he said.

Mailin, you're going to be a full-time pioneer like me. You heard what Brother Bentwood said. Jehovah God is going to destroy this wicked world and start a whole new system. We're all gonna be perfect. So we won't need any doctors. Jehovah doesn't want you wasting your time like that. You understand? You understand, Mailin? God wants you to preach his good news. Save lives his way. You don't want to disobey and make Jehovah angry…right? You don't want him to punish you…or someone else for your disobedience? Remember Jonah? Don't be like Jonah, May!

Baby, don't cry… You're making her cry.

She might need to cry. It's better she cries than dies!

*****

Mailin…did you hear me? asked Dr. Beauchard. I asked you, what's your greatest fear?

I heard you. It's God! My greatest fear is God.

The next morning, Mailin was at the hospital.

There are only two doctors in this hospital qualified to do this surgery. I'm one, and you're the other. So… I want you to lead the surgery. I can't force you, but if you won't do it, we'll have to make room for someone else. The decision is yours to make, said Dr. Hassich.

Remember Jonah? Remember how he caused people around him to suffer because he didn't want to obey God! How do you expect to help people by being disobedient to Jehovah, May? You don't want to be like Jonah, May! His disobedience almost got people killed!

Dr. Carter, are you okay?

Yes… I was just thinking… I was just remembering something. Listen, I appreciate everything you've done for me. You've been more than a mentor…almost like a father…really. But I'm not ready to head up a surgery and especially not one as complicated as this. I mean…if I'm not on top of everything in there…this patient could die! What about Dr. Wang? Why can't he do it?

Dr. Wang isn't half the surgeon you are! You're one of the best!

I thought you said it was my decision?

I did…and it is.

I've given you my answer, so please accept it.

All right then… I'll do it, and you can assist.

Thank you, she replied.

On the morning of the surgery, Mailin was at home getting ready to leave. She exited her well-appointed bedroom and walked toward the door. Once again, she stopped and gazed at the Bible before she exited.

Morning, Ms. Mailin! said the doorman as the valet opened the car door.

Good morning, guys. She got in her car and left.

Buzz, buzz, bzzz, bzzz, went the muted sound of her cell.

Damn…again! she said, noticing a traffic backup. Once again, she was forced to take a different route.

Somebody's got to do something about that damn traffic circle, she whispered as she made her way through the busy morning streets.

I'm running late… Dr. Hass is gonna get me for this.

At the hospital, she rushed out of the cramped elevator toward the surgery department.

Dr. Carter, extension 107! is heard over the hospital intercom.

Damn… Why didn't they just call my cell phone? Give me that phone, please. Can you dial 107…? Thank you, she told a medical clerk. This is Dr. Carter.

Dr. Carter, hold on, I'm transferring you to the administrator.

Mailin? the administrator asked.

Yes…it's me. Hi, Ms. Tanny… What's going on?

We've been trying to reach you. Dr. Hassich was involved in a serious car accident.

"Oh my god! Is