Signs or Coincidence???: What Are the Deceased Trying to Tell Us?

By Dr. Dee Stern

Although many persons navigating through a journey of grief have sensed a deceased loved one’s presence in the room, dreamed of their deceased loved one, or had deathbed visions, they are afraid to reveal these experiences. They fear being laughed at, not believed, dismissed, or called crazy. So, what are the dying and deceased trying to tell us that others are afraid to believe and hear?

Dr. Dee Stern relies on her experience as a hospital chaplain, parish/bereavement minister and grief therapist to share insights into the research and real-life experiences behind these different phenomena. This is to clear up confusion, help stop the ridicule, and remind others that what we say to the bereaved and others can make a big difference in not just their lives, but also ours. Dr. Stern identifies signs of the past, future, and present that are right in front of us. She shares the results of scientific research about various phenomena, and sites many stories from the bereaved about what they experienced from their deceased loved ones as well as insights into her own personal experiences as she witnessed signs from the dying.

Signs or Coincidence? shares real-life stories and research data from a grief therapist that encourages others to listen to and support those grieving and receiving messages from the dying and the deceased.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Feb 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9781665737395

Dr. Dee Stern

Dr. Dee Stern is a chaplain and parish/bereavement minister who holds a master’s degree in psychology, a master’s in pastoral studies, and a Doctorate in psychology, as well as having taught death /dying courses on the college level. She is also a licensed clinical professional counselor who facilitates a suicide group for friends and family of those who have already ended their life, in additional to another grief group. Her first book was titled Comforting the Bereaved Through Listening and Positive Responding, subtitle: What are the bereaved trying to tell US?

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Copyright © 2023 Dr. Dee Stern.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

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Scripture texts in this work are taken from the New American Bible, revised edition© 2010, 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. and are used by permission of the copyright owner. All Rights Reserved. No part of the New American Bible may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Cover Designer: Lindsay Patterson

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3738-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3739-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023900994

Archway Publishing rev. date: 02/01/2023

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1 Signs or Coincidences?

Chapter 2 Dreams

Chapter 3 Deathbed Visions and Dreams

Chapter 4 Triggers

Chapter 5 Angels

Chapter 6 Suicide Deaths

Chapter 7 Research of Post-Death Encounters

Chapter 8 Near-Death Experiences

Chapter 9 Their True Life Experiences

Conclusion

Appendix A: The Dragonfly---Signs or Coincidences?

Appendix B: As I Sit in Heaven

Appendix C: When I Ask You To listen To Me

Appendix D: Have You Ever Felt Guilty?

Appendix E: Ask Someone If You Could Give Them A Hug Today

Appendix F: How To Know If You Need Extra Help with Your Grieving

References

I

dedicate this book to all those who trusted me with their stories and encouraged me to tell their stories. I hope someday others will believe and those who have had a phenomenon in their lives will not continue to be afraid to tell their stories for fear of being ridiculed. Rather, they will feel free to share their experiences with others who will listen, believe, understand, and have an understanding of what they truly experienced.

I dedicate this book to all those who do not believe but one day will believe. I encourage them to listen, understand, and reach out to those who have shared their life experiences. Thank them for being brave enough to trust those who did not listen or believe in them but do now.

I dedicate this book to families, friends, colleagues, nurses, physicians, therapists, social workers, and other professionals who have taken the time to listen and believe in their patients, clients, and relatives instead of ridiculing them, changing the subject, or trying not to believe them at all.

WHAT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE THIS

BOOK SIGNS OR COINCIDENCES?

O ne night several months ago, I was trying to sleep and I kept waking up. It was like someone was trying to tell me something. I tried to ignore these thoughts and get back to sleep, but my thoughts were persistent and continued to keep me awake.

It was as if I was being told to write another book. This time, it was to be about what the deceased are trying to tell us. I thought this was crazy, but the thoughts kept coming so fast I decided I had better give in and write my thoughts down on paper. It was like God was saying, Dee, you need to do this.

I kept thinking I had already written a book and I had nothing more to say. However, my thoughts seemed to disagree with me and continued to encourage me to seriously look into the idea. It seemed the more I resisted, the more my thoughts continued to add more ideas and eventually part of a title.

When I finally woke up, I couldn’t get these thoughts out of my mind all day; I even shared them with a couple of people. As I researched my thoughts and actually told others, they began to tell me their experiences, which made me even more interested in pursuing the project.

I found out by doing more research and talking with more people why they were afraid to tell anyone their experiences. So many of them had been laughed at, ridiculed, and put down by friends, family, and even professionals for sharing their experiences. They had experienced signs, sensed a deceased loved one was in the room, dreamed of their deceased loved ones, or had deathbed visions. Maybe they heard someone speak of an out of body or near-death experience. They were afraid if they told anyone they would be laughed at, not believed, dismissed, or called crazy.

I thought if people read the research and the life stories behind these different phenomena, they would realize these experiences are real and stop making fun of others. Those who have actually gone through these experiences perhaps would not be afraid to tell their stories. Remember, it is in the telling of the story that the healing takes place.

I hope that social workers, counselors, and other professionals, as well as families and friends, may believe, listen, and encourage others to share these stories instead of ignoring them. Perhaps they will tell others who will tell others, creating a climate in which these individuals will feel free to share their stories. The deceased are still present to their loved ones in many ways, and research supports that conclusion.

When I interviewed these individuals, many of them said I was the first or second person they had ever told for fear of being laughed at or not being believed. They thanked me repeatedly for believing and listening to them and allowing them to feel free to tell their stories. Several said to me, I know what I saw, what I heard, and what I felt, and I am not crazy.

I am not a scientist or a researcher. I am merely a grief therapist, chaplain, parish minister, and LCPC (licensed clinical professional counselor) who has heard enough over thirty years to believe these individuals and their stories.

Research has proven that many social workers, therapists, counselors, and other professionals do not know what to say or how to help someone when they hear these stories. As a result, the clients often leave and do not return.

Because we live in a death denying society, it is truly hard for some people to believe that any kind of communication from the deceased could occur. I must admit it does sound a bit strange, but it is true and I have the research to prove it. I have witnessed a deathbed vision as I am sure many others have as well.

To those of you who believe and have taken the time to listen, blessings to you!

To those who do not believe or have not taken the time to listen, I hope this book will inspire you to listen and believe and to tell others that what you have read is believable. You can help stop the ridicule. Blessings to all of you and your change of heart as well!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank and express a great deal of gratitude to those friends, colleagues, and a former student who encouraged me to write a second book. I would especially like to thank those without whose help and encouragement this second book would never have been started, much less finished.

Janet Zimmerman, a close friend and my tech support person, once again put up with my frustration with the computer and supported me when the computer took over and I was completely lost again. Without Janet’s assistance and encouragement, I would never have been able to comprehend the strange workings of my computer and proceed with this book.

Linda Hughes, a good friend and computer wizard, once again rescued me from problems and questions I had on the computer concerning my book.

Lesley Wolfgang, a colleague and friend, encouraged me from day one to write this book. Her listening ear, gentle advice, and help with locating articles was of exceptional help and allowed me to make this book authentic. She also helped keep me on track.

Dr. Ann V. Graber, a gentle friend and advisor, allowed me to hear and read her NDE (near-death experience) and include it in my book.

Darlene Cockayne, a former student, encouraged to me to keep going and not give up.

Jeff Koester’s friendship, prayers, enthusiasm, and excitement about