Promises! Promises!: A story of overcoming deception and tragedy through faith in Christ.

By Helga Fank

This is the story of a wife and mother of four who escaped her husband’s evil grip. She had to leave behind their children, who pledged total obedience and submission to the brainwashing of their father. With God’s help, she survived her ordeal.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636304908

Book preview

cover.jpg

Promises! Promises!

A story of overcoming deception and tragedy through faith in Christ.

Helga Fank

ISBN 978-1-63630-489-2 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63630-490-8 (Digital)

Copyright © 2021 Helga Fank

All rights reserved

First Edition

The names of the characters have been changed to protect the innocent.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books, Inc.

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Foreword

Courage is a virtue that is too often misunderstood. Many people think of courage as some type of intrinsic quality possessed by special people, which allows them to do heroic things without fear during dangerous situations. The truth is that courage, like real love, is actually a choice. People who are not afraid during danger are not courageous. They are either ignorant or simply foolish. Courage is exercised when a person, who is legitimately afraid, decides to overcome their fear and do the right thing in a threatening circumstance or moment.

Writing any type of book is a daunting task. Writing a book about difficult personal experiences can be extremely painful and, in some cases, dangerous. It takes a great deal of real courage to shed light on one’s closely held secrets and sorrows in an effort to use one’s personal story to help others. Helga Fank displays this kind of courage by writing her personal story in the pages of her new book, Promises! Promises! Helga shares valuable personal testimony in this book. It is meant to assure anyone suffering under circumstances like those described in its pages that they are not alone and there really is hope.

Helga is one of those regular people who decided to take action in the face of danger, suffering, and pain to take control of fear and do what needed to be done to help others. Promises! Promises! is the result of Helga’s courageous decision. I was honored to be asked to write this foreword. If you are wondering whether you are the only one in a tough situation, this book is for you. This is a story of hope, fear, love, loneliness, loss, and redemption. Helga’s testimony shows that God’s awesome grace is immeasurably more powerful than the difficulties and dangers we face in this world.

David Caringer

Author

Letter to Troy

Decision at Fletcher’s Mill

Fletcher’s Choice

1

The Insanity Becomes Increasingly Obvious

My husband, Steve, yelled at me as I stepped out through the door of our tiny camper: You can’t go for walks by yourself out here! You could get raped! This was certainly not the first time he tried to instill a completely irrational fear in me. I no longer doubted. He would use any veiled excuse to suppress and control my life and our children’s lives while pretending to protect us.

I looked at him as kindly as I could and replied that I was willing to take my chances out there in the Texas desert. I pointed out that we never had more than a handful of cars a week drive up the mountain past our little camp. What I said irritated him further, but I did not heed his advice. I was aware that I had been losing this battle for a long time. There was no point trying to reason with him. I still had my life, my will, and some dignity left. I decided that I would not allow him to take those things from me.

My walking excursions into the desert provided the only opportunities I could find to experience peace and tranquility. My husband constantly accused me. He mockingly imitated me. The outbursts and tirades directed at me and our children had become nonstop. I cried and pleaded with God out there in the solitude, desperately asking him to fix my marriage. Yet, consistently, my husband would start his verbal barrages for no apparent reason when I returned to the twenty-one-foot camper that constituted our family home. It seemed to me that God was not answering my prayers, but I was not angry with Him for that. It became increasingly clear that God was showing me that Steve’s irrational and unprovoked anger outbursts were putting me in danger.

It was March of 2012. I had finally told my parents and siblings about my marital problems in the fall of the previous year. They all lived in Austria. They could do nothing to help me at this time other than give me moral support. It would not be long, however, before they helped me in many tangible ways. I will be eternally grateful to them!

Steve often summoned our teenage sons to witness discussions of a very personal nature between the two of us. They had no choice but to accept whatever their father wanted them to believe even though they might have said I love you, Momsy just minutes earlier. My sons often came up with lists of additional perceived infractions of mine in misguided efforts to please their father. He empowered and encouraged them to scrutinize my actions. I had to give an account on one occasion for driving five miles over the speed limit in the desert even though there was almost no traffic.

I was often harrased for not wearing long skirts all the time since That is what a decent Christian woman ought to do! I never wore sleeveless shirts or tight clothes. I made sure my T-shirts and sweaters always went to mid-thigh. I was tired of hearing what a decent Christian woman should wear. I once turned to Steve and blurted, You would like me to wear a burka, wouldn’t you? He was a man who expressed a strong dislike for Islam. He, of course, could not agree that his opinions were similar to extreme Islamic views.

The movie God’s Not Dead features a poignant scene involving a domineering Muslim father whose daughter resents having to wear a head covering while attending college classes in the US. The father picks her up one day in the family car and shares these thoughts with her: I know it is hard living in the world and being apart from it. I know they [crowds of students all around them] seem happy. But know that when you look around, there is no one who worships God. Not the way he deserves to be worshipped. We must never forget who and what we are. That is the most important thing. I only insist on this [wearing a headscarf] because I love you. You know that don’t you? That I love you?

The daughter answers reluctantly, Of course, Papa! The girl does not really believe her father’s declaration of love or theology. I did not believe it either when my husband, Steve, tried to impress us with his sickeningly similar speeches.

My sons were homeschooled all their lives because we wanted to give them an education in a Christian home. Steve and I made the decision together. We were planning to give them a good foundation and prepare them for the world. I had no idea that years later, I would be looking to the world to protect my sons and myself from the abuse in our own home.

We stopped attending church in 2002. Steve felt he was poorly treated as the acting youth pastor of a small church in Jacksonville, Florida. The children loved the social interaction at the church, but their father knew how to manipulate my boys and me very skillfully.

Steve became more and more narcissistic over the years. He always proclaimed how much he loved the boys and me, but his actions proved otherwise. My children had no friends outside our family, and they never spoke with our extended family. My relatives live in Austria and speak German. Steve grew up in a very abusive household and had little contact with his family. His relatives lived more than a thousand miles away in New York State.

My husband always spoke favorably about our marriage to people outside our home. He described me as the second-best thing in his life after God. He claimed that he and my sons were treating me as their princess.

Most of the many arguments in our home were completely pointless. I was naive. I did not want to accept that he used me as a punching bag for his frustrations. His need to get his way was often facilitated by making promises he never intended to keep. He usually turned the conversation elsewhere if I questioned his non-biblical actions or motives rather than admit any wrongdoing. We wasted many hours on these conversations. This only served to wear me out both mentally and physically.

2

Our Early Years

Steve and I met in Los Angeles in the spring of 1988 in a bar close to Santa Monica Beach. I was a vulnerable young woman without much of a social support network. My circle of friends was small and all my relatives lived in Europe.

We had many common interests and similar tastes. Steve was a very creative person. Even though his art career