Through It All: An Inspiring Tribute and Compelling Story of an Invincible Young Man's Journey in His Fight for Life

By Paula Hanley

In Through It All, Paula shares the life of her son, Vince; how he went through the traumatic events that changed his and his familys lives forever. Her intriguing journal of hope, faith, and courage will touch hearts and reveal Gods sustaining grace through the challenges of the unthinkable when your life falls apart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 3, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512760842

Paula Hanley

Paula Hanley and her husband, Richard live in Fort Myers, Florida. They have two adult children. Her journal chronicles Vince’s heroic spirit while facing overwhelming obstacles. She experienced the “peace which passes all understanding” while in the midst of deep despair. She credits her intimate relationship with God and that of knowing Him personally as her anchor “through it all.”

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Copyright © 2016 Paula Hanley.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6085-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6086-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-6084-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016917402

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/02/2016

Contents

Appreciation

Dedication

Preface

Introduction

1. The Beginning

2. Angels Watching Over

3. Special Gifts

4. Family Life

5. The Evil Begins

6. Major Life Changes

7. Pain and Suffering

8. Blessings Begin

9. Incredible Compassion

10. Surprises

11. Fear

12. Major Surgery

13. Strange Coincidences

14. Struggles

15. The Move

16. Another Problem

17. Progress Begins

18. Good, Bad, and Ugly

19. Accomplishments

20. Life Goes On

21. Scary Times

22. Going Home

23. Comfort

Epilogue

Bibliography

We all are created for a design that God intends

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"Every happening, great and small is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message."

- Malcolm Muggeridge

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Everything that occurs in your life is part of God’s plan to wake you up.

- Leonard Jacobson

Appreciation

I GIVE MANY THANKS TO Glenn Miller for his support and help. He was the first person to read my manuscript. He corrected many errors, and encouraged me to pursue publication.

My gratitude to a wonderful friend, Marium Roberts, who offered to help in editing the entire manuscript several times after Glenn’s many corrections. We spent most Thursdays reading aloud for months. She suggested changes in words, and sentence structure which added clarity to the manuscript. The changes made a world of difference. We became even closer friends as we shared so many things that were relevant to both of our life situations. There are not enough words to express my appreciation.

Dedication

I DEDICATE THIS BOOK TO my wonderful family. For over twenty years much of my time and energy was given to Vince and his special needs. They never complained. They accepted that life was different from normal and they adjusted. Mindy loved her big brother very much. She became Vince’s go for things for him when he was unable. She became his best buddy helping him, and entertaining him by playing games, Sega, playing cards, and watching movies together. Dick was very supportive. After working a full week at home in Fort Myers, he would drive to be with us every weekend when we were out of town. He did the laundry for Mindy and me, and helped with the cooking. Brian would try to visit when he had a pass from the Navy. I thank God that our family did not fall apart with all the extraordinary stresses and life changes that we endured.

I also dedicate this book to Vinny Testaverde. He was an incredible friend to Vince. I don’t know how our son would have made it through those first three to four years without his support and friendship. Our family appreciates the many times he went out of his way to visit Vince; he orchestrated special opportunities for him, and gave much encouragement during their frequent phone conversations. He was deeply compassionate…beyond our ability to describe, and we are eternally grateful for his devotion to Vince. I believe Vinny was the person that God used to touch Vince’s life when he needed it the very most.

Preface

OVER TWO DECADES AGO, I never thought I would be an author. I never dreamed my life and our family’s lives would be anything other than that of an average, everyday, all-American family going through normal day to day experiences. My husband, Dick, was a father going to work, and I was a stay at home mom. We were a middle class family with three children. My oldest son, Brian, had graduated high school and was in the Navy. Vince was in the seventh grade in middle school, and their sister, Mindy was four years old. Then the unimaginable happened.

No one thinks about things that might happen which could change an idealistic lifestyle, and result in tragic events, pain, or suffering. If or when they happen, everyone asks, Why? It may be part of the fallen nature of mankind, or perhaps be permitted through circumstances that God allows in order to bring about his plan for each life.

I want others to see how my family experienced tragedy and how I believe God sustained us and brought much good through the trying times. Having a personal relationship with Jesus was my solid foundation that kept me strong in the face of adversity. I pray that my book will give others inspiration and hope.

Through It All – (written by Andrae Crouch)

I’ve had many tears and sorrows,

I’ve had questions for tomorrow,

There’ve been times

I didn’t know right from wrong;

But in every situation

God gave blessed consolation

That my trials come

To only make me strong.

I’ve been to lots of places,

And I’ve seen a lot of faces,

There’ve been times I felt so all alone;

But in my lonely hours,

Yes, those precious lonely hours,

Jesus let me know that I was His own.

I thank God for the mountains,

And I thank Him for the valleys,

Thank Him for the storms

He brought me through;

For if I’d never had a problem

I wouldn’t know

That He could solve them,

I’d never know what faith

In God could do.

Through it all, through it all,

I’ve learned to trust in Jesus,

I’ve learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I’ve learned to depend upon His Word.

Introduction

Every moment and every event of every man’s life on earth plants

something in his soul.

- Thomas Merton

I STARTED THIS AS A journal back in 1991. Unfortunately, I was not faithful about writing regularly. I put it away for a couple of decades, only to regret that I’d not kept it up. I desperately did not want to forget what my family and I had experienced, so I started writing what I could remember in addition to the journal. There were so many things that no one else knew during those beginning years. My other family members were not physically there. My husband, Dick, had to work, my daughter, Mindy, was too young to remember and know what was going on, and my oldest son, Brian, was off in the Navy for four years. I wanted them to know the details. Another purpose in writing is to share this with Vince’s many friends who really became like an extended family. It is to let them know the entire story. Many are not aware of the complex events of his life, and the many challenges that he overcame.

This period in time was before Internet, cell phones, Facebook, other social media and free long distance. Often people didn’t know what was going on in our lives. Nevertheless, as I started composing these pages, I realized that this could be more than a book for my family. I thought…why not start at the beginning? As my journal began to take shape, it eventually became a biography of my son’s life. My desire was that by sharing this, others who are experiencing difficult life situations may also have hope. I gave the possibility to God and asked that if this was His will, He would help me to remember things. He did!

God proved to me in so many ways that He does care about everything in our lives. God is always there during the good times and the bad times if you ask Him to be, whether you feel His presence or not. He just wants you to trust Him. He will work all things together for His best plan for your life.

My family was so blessed. Our life seemed happy. We were sailing along just fine like a normal family. Then a storm hit. Life was quickly changed. It would become the complete opposite of happy or normal. Over the course of the next, approximately twenty-one years, our family’s lives would become something that could hardly be imagined. We were tried and tested. There were mountains of difficulty to climb, many valleys to experience, and many bridges to cross.

My story is about picking up the pieces, staying in the fight, about hurt and pain, struggle and heart break, but what a journey! I think that at some point everyone will have hard times. We become stronger because of them. The happenings in our lives shape us into the great people we are destined to become, or break us to become less than what we should be. Let me share how my son became all I believe God wanted him to be. It is about the determination and courage that was so graciously sent from Heaven to help Vince fight the many challenges during those two decades.

Another reason I wanted to share my story is to bring attention to Gorham’s Disease. It is very rare, and while it is being diagnosed more often than it was two decades ago, it still needs to have greater publicity and attention.

Chapter 1

The Beginning

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)

THIS IS MY STORY ABOUT a special gift that God gave me. I was blessed with a baby boy; he came into the world very easily. I went into labor around seven o’clock that night. We arrived at the hospital at 9:30 p.m., and Vince was born at 11:08 p.m. He weighed six pounds, ten ounces. Because he was facing the wrong way, forceps were needed. Even though the umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, he was delivered with no problem. I’m wondering now if this was the first occasion in which God would intervene in Vince’s life. When I selected the name Vincent, I didn’t know I would see him live out the meaning of that special name. Vincent means conqueror. He was a good baby. It was like starting all over because his older brother, Brian, was almost six years old. I had been hoping for a baby girl; however Brian was praying for a baby brother. He asked, Why did God answer my prayer instead of yours? I told him, I guess God figured you needed a brother more than I needed a daughter. Now I know this baby boy was more than just an answer to Brian’s prayer. Vince would become someone who would touch others’ lives in ways that I found hard to comprehend.

I often don’t remember everyday occurrences when life is going along just fine. It is when things, whether good or bad, were out of the ordinary, that I did remember. Since Vince was a healthy baby, I remembered the few times he got sick. A few days before he was four months old, on New Year’s Eve 1977, I made a trip to the pediatrician. Vince had an ear infection. Therefore, at midnight I found myself rocking a crying baby instead of welcoming in the New Year. There are, of course, the infant milestones such as turning over, crawling, walking, etc., but the illnesses stand out for some reason. We did have to take Vince to the hospital for croup one Sunday night when he was almost one. At two years of age he was treated for tonsillitis and ear infections. We were on vacation and he had had a fever and fussed most of the night. It was on a Sunday at 8:00 a.m. (on my birthday.) We took him to an emergency room in Melbourne, Florida. The doctor gave him a shot of a strong antibiotic. The next day we went to Disney World. Dick took Brian on most of the rides, while I sat on benches as Vince slept in his stroller. Things changed and Vince stayed very healthy for the next ten years.

Vince developed quickly. He learned to roll over at about four months of age, and he would then continuously roll until he was clear across a room! It seemed he created his own way of moving himself because, soon after that, while lying flat on his back, he would arch his back and push off with his feet. I would find him scooting quickly from his blanket. He then learned to crawl normally, and took off. Vince became very active!

Chapter 2

Angels Watching Over

For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone. Psalm 91:11-12 (KJV)

I REMEMBER THREE INCIDENTS IN Vince’s early life that were very frightening for both of us. The first was when he was nine or ten months old. We lived in Akron, Ohio, in a bi-level home. In trying to recall the sequences of events, I remember having been in conversation with a neighborhood girl and Brian. We were on the second floor in the living room; I think we were looking at photos. Vince was playing on the floor nearby. Some of Brian’s friends arrived and wanted him to play baseball in our backyard. I didn’t realize that when they had gone out, one of the boys had forgotten to close the screen door. Nor did I realize that Vince had crawled into the kitchen following the boys. This screen was on a sliding glass door in our kitchen that opened to a balcony. While there was a handrail around the balcony, there was no additional barrier to prevent a baby or small child from falling off. Beneath the balcony, there was a concrete patio with an eight to ten foot drop. The balcony had stairs that were some twelve feet away from where Vince had crawled out of the open door. We had patiently taught him to descend the carpeted stairs in the house by turning around and sliding feet first on his tummy, when someone would open the gate for him. On this particular day, minutes after the boys had gone out; I heard a lot of noise, Vince crying and kids yelling. Vince had inched his way out of the opened door and over to the stairs and tumbled down. What a miracle that even though he was so small, he did not fall off the deck onto the concrete. Rather, he knew to crawl over to the steps to get down to be with the other kids. He was unharmed, and he just had a few red marks on his little body. I was shaken, but very thankful he was okay.

The following summer Vince was not quite two years old. We decided to have my dad, Grandpa Paul, make the balcony into a deck, and make it baby-proof. We had him build fencing around the entire deck, with a gate and a large slide bolt closure as well. The last board on the deck floor needed to be eight inches wide instead of six. It had not been put on yet. I completely forgot about this opening. I had taken the boys to the grocery store, and shortly after we got home, the neighborhood boys came over to play with Brian. They were in the backyard playing baseball. I was fixing lunch, and told Vince to go out on the deck to play until lunch was ready. He had a little green motorcycle that he moved by pushing with his feet. I assumed that was what he was doing. He was not out there for more than a few minutes when I heard a blood-curdling scream. I was on the other side of the screen door, so I was able to immediately step onto the deck, but Vince was not there! I spied his tiny fingers hanging on for dear life! He had fallen through the opening. I froze, thinking, Oh! God, do I run under the deck and try to catch him as he falls, or attempt to grab him? I instantly ran and grabbed him by his wrists, pulling him up through the opening.

His head was bleeding. When he fell between the boards, he had hit the bridge of his nose; the cut was so deep I could see the bone. It seemed like immediately we were in the bathroom and Brian was trying to help. I threw a little water in Vince’s face to wash the blood away. This seemed to help calm him down and to stop his crying. I applied pressure with a cold washcloth. I knew he would need stitches. As we got in the car to go to the hospital, our neighbor, Sally who had heard the screaming, came to find out what had happened. Thankfully, she was able to drive us there. Vince needed two layers of stitches, but he was fine otherwise. Emotionally, somehow I think it was worse for me. I was not permitted in the trauma room; they wrapped my little guy up like a small papoose to immobilize him, and one nurse held his head while another stitched up his cut. I was on the other side of a closed door listening to him scream. My heart broke. I felt bad. How could I have let that happen?

Looking back, I marveled, for there was no way a twenty-two month old baby could hold his own body weight with just his fingers to keep from falling to the ground. The place where Vince was holding on was on the other end, away from the concrete patio. The place where he might have landed had he fallen, was about a six foot drop, and was full of cement blocks and six inch spike nails sticking up on the old boards. I know there had to have been a guardian angel holding my toddler onto that board until I was able to rescue him. I believe that even the thought to go and grab him, had to be from God as well. I seriously doubt that I would have been able to get under the deck with all that rubble in order catch him.

The third accident was when Vince was about three-and-a-half years old. The boys and I were visiting my sister, Paulette. Her firstborn, Sara, was a year old. Brian and Sara were outside on a porch swing. Once again, Vince was on a riding toy. This time he was on a pony. He didn’t realize that the swing was coming forward as he was riding towards them. (I guess the consequences weren’t occurring to him at such an early age.) Brian was not anticipating Vince would keep moving forward either. The porch swing hit him right in the mouth! The blood was pouring out! I applied pressure with a wet washcloth, and then made a call to the dentist who was across town. I’m so glad Brian was old enough to be such a help. He held Vince and kept the cold washcloth with ice applied to Vince’s mouth. One top front center baby tooth came out, root and all. The