New Beginnings

By Rachel Vanderwood

Peter Merrane was content in his calling as a Pastor in his hometown parish in West Virginia where he and his wife were raising their young son. Although years had gone by since he left his former life behind him, his memories still remained of the battles he fought to protect God\'s people and the bonds he shared with those he trained to take his place. The only physical proof he kept of his previous calling was in a journal he hid in his office, never suspecting he would have use of it again until one night when a close family member and an unexpected friend from his past arrive at his home telling him of a mysterious disease with no known cause that was claiming the lives of young children. When he learns of a potential connection, he has between the parents of a young girl assumed to be the only key to unlocking the mystery, Peter knows he has no choice but to act. Armed with his faith and a lifetime of experience, Peter accepts his friend\'s request, and the two men race against time to discover the truth and protect the girl who has been gifted to see what others cannot.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798886853339

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New Beginnings

Rachel Vanderwood

ISBN 979-8-88685-332-2 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88685-334-6 (hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88685-333-9 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Rachel Vanderwood

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

About the Author

Chapter 1

I thought I would find you here. You know, you haven't been in practice long enough to be this burned out, Tonya.

Tonya heard the voice of a familiar friend and mentor say as she sat alone in the hospital chapel, searching for strength and understanding.

Knowing her mother's longtime friend and colleague approached her with supportive intentions, Tonya looked up and smiled to greet her, as the veteran charge nurse walked over to her and sat herself beside her.

Your mother called me. She asked me to check on you. She said you haven't seemed like yourself lately. Do you want to talk about what's going on?

Carolynne, when I went through my training, even to the point I was first on my own to treat my patients, I was so confident that I could protect the lives of the children under my care. But I'm only starting out in my field, and I'm already fighting a losing battle. Whatever this cancer, this illness, is that has surfaced, it's claiming more lives than I'm prepared to save.

So what is it you want to do, Tonya? Do you want to quit? Do you want to leave it to someone else to take over for you? Because if you do, you're not the girl I remember. I've known you your entire life. Don't forget, I was at your mother's baby shower for you. The Tonya I've always known is tough. She's a fighter. And I know she's the type of mom herself that wants to be a role model for her daughter. Your parents aren't the only ones that are proud of you, Tonya. Rosalie admires and adores you. And you've worked too hard to fall apart on her now.

I know, Carolynne. I'm not quitting on my career or my family, but I don't know how many more times I can face the parents of one of my patients and tell them that their child is never coming home.

Tonya, no one ever said the health care field was easy. Those of us that accept the calling to be the strength for others when they are at the weakest moments in their lives need to be tough as nails, mentally and physically, but also compassionate and supportive not only to our patients but to ourselves as well. We work in some of the most stressful conditions, most times with limited staff and resources. But I know I don't have to tell you that.

There is always going to be some new disease or illness that we aren't prepared to treat until years of testing and research are spent studying it. You can't force the burden solely on your shoulders. It isn't yours to bear alone.

Trust me, Carolynne, that's why I'm here, Tonya replied with a hopeful smile.

It's a good place to be, Tonya. But don't forget, even he delegates helpers to get what he needs done. That's what we have in each other. When you do the kind of work that we do, the people that work with you aren't just your coworkers, they're your family. Remember that.

I know.

I'm glad because I know a lot of members that work at this particular hospital that would feel a great loss if you left them.

I'm not leaving… I'm just trying to find answers right now.

Maybe if you stop focusing on the act of looking for the answers and keep doing what you were born to do, the answers will come to you.

I hope so. And I hope I'm not too busy that I miss them.

I don't think you will. You're training taught you how to pay attention to the details.

How did you get to be so wise, Carolynne? Tonya lightheartedly teased.

Years of experience, honey. Don't forget, I'm one of the old ones here now.

Don't tell my mother that she still thinks she's twenty-nine, Tonya said as she laughed aloud to herself.

Let her. Life's too short not to enjoy every minute. I remember when your mother and I were in nursing school together. I could tell you stories about some of the wild nights we had out on the weekends, mostly to destress and vent about our instructors. They were strict and tough, the old school kind that terrified the sense right out of you. We had this one girl named Amber in our class. Our clinical instructor at the time told her to practice a head-to-toe assessment on this man in his early thirties that was being treated after a motor vehicle accident. She was a shy girl. She was nervous, and her patient was one of those that entertained himself with off-colored humor, if you know what I mean, and especially liked young nurses to take care of him. When Amber went in with our instructor to complete her assessment, the poor thing was so nervous. She just wanted to get it over with. Now as you know to do an accurate assessment, it involves skin assessment and looking at what you are assessing, not just listening and feeling. As scared as she was, she never lifted his gown when she began his abdominal assessment. When she thought she had finished, she followed her instructor out into the hallway to discuss her findings. When she told her instructor that, in her assessment, she felt the patient had a hernia, she quickly found out, after a harsh reprimand, that it wasn't a hernia at all, although I'm sure she left a happy patient. Amber was mortified, hysterical. She didn't return to class after that day. I'm not exactly sure what happened to her. We heard rumors that she wrote a book about the traumas of nursing school and married her book editor.

Poor Amber. Tonya sympathetically replied, although laughing as she spoke her response, finding amusement in the story.

I wouldn't be so quick to feel sorry for her. If the rumors are true, her book was successful, and she and her husband eventually opened their own publishing company together. The point, Tonya, is that not everyone is born to handle the work we do. But you are. You may be one of our newer physicians, but you have earned a lot of respect in the short time you've been on your own. And I know a lot of children and families that would agree with me. I know they need you just as much as we do here.

Thanks, Carolynne.

Anytime, honey. I like to think I'm still helpful in one way or another. I have a reputation to uphold, you know, especially with some of these newer nurses that like to argue that they have more knowledge than me, not that I know everything either. A good lesson to learn is that you never stop learning. The day you think you know all the answers is the day you need to reconsider your career choices.

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind, Tonya replied as Carolynne put her arm around her to offer support before rising from her seated position to return to her duties.

Knowing she too had to return, Tonya looked up one more time at the golden crucifix that stood in the center of the altar and took a deep breath in. As she stood up to return to revisit her patients on the pediatric unit, she was met by a colleague, a young impressionable nurse, at the door of the chapel.

Dr. Johns, I'm so glad I found you! She exclaimed, exasperated from having searched for her.

What's the matter, Haley? Tonya asked, startled by her distraught disposition.

It's Mrs. Castine. She said that Alina told her she was going to heaven soon. She's completely hysterical. I can't calm her down. I tried to tell her that Alina's vitals have been stable and that she hasn't complained of any increased pain or showed any signs of distress in my assessments of her, but she's insisting that she talks to you.

Okay, Haley. Come on, let's go. I'll talk to her.

Tonya swiftly agreed as the two made haste to return to the fifth-floor unit to settle the worry of the distressed mother.

When they arrived on the unit and Tonya turned the hallway leading toward her patient's room, she witnessed the hysterical mother firsthand standing outside of her daughter's assigned room. With a purse hanging from one arm and tear-soaked tissues in the hand of the other, the thirty-two-year-old distraught mother of five lit up to see Tonya fast approaching in hope of finding the reassurance she needed.

Oh, Dr. Johns, I'm so glad to see you. I don't… I just don't understand. My baby, my Alina, keeps telling me that she's going to be in heaven soon. But I thought…well, I thought you told me everything was going well, that you were able to remove the tumor.

Alina has been doing well, Mrs. Castine. Her surgery did go well, and she seems to have been responding to her treatments as hoped. I've seen no changes in her assessments or lab work that cause concern.

Well, then why would she say those things to me? I don't understand.

Why don't we go inside her room and talk to her? She's been through a lot for such a young age. Being in the hospital and having gone through major surgery and medical treatment may be frightening for her.

Dr. Johns, you don't understand, my Alina is special, the weary mother pleaded with her.

She is special to me as well, Mrs. Castine. All my patients are special to me, I assure you, Tonya replied, hopeful to have provided reassurance to the concerned parent.

Not special like you think, Dr. Johns, the mother insisted.

How do you mean then?

Alina, she knows things. She sees things—things that my other children don't know until they happen. Last year, she told my oldest son that she had a dream that he was going to hurt his arm. And later that day, during his football practice, he broke his right arm. Last Christmas, she came to me and thanked me for the doll I had gotten her, but I hadn't given it to her yet. There's no way she could have known about it. My husband and I keep our children's gifts at my mother-in-law's house until Christmas Eve.

Although rehearsing in her mind plausible scenarios to explain the examples her patient's mother had given her, Tonya knew that making a case to negate her perception of her daughter's assumed abilities would only cause the mother more distress. Hopeful to resolve the mother's concerns, Tonya opened the door to Alina's room and encouraged the distraught mother to follow in her lead.

When she and Mrs. Castine entered the room, Alina quickly sat herself straight up in bed and beamed with excitement. Walking up toward her, Tonya sat herself on the bed beside her patient and observed an improved, energetic brown-eyed, five-year-old, little girl with curly, dark-brown hair, eager to interact with the physician assigned to her.

With Alina's curious eyes looking up to her, Tonya asked, How are you feeling today, Alina?

Oh, I feel really good, Dr. Johns, Alina excitedly replied.

Does anything hurt? Is your stomach upset? Are you having any trouble breathing, Alina?

No. I'm okay. Well, sometimes it hurts up here and here, Alina replied as she pointed out the two locations, one on her chest and the other on her upper abdomen, but I ate all my breakfast. I only ate some of my lunch because I don't like chicken salad.

Tonya smiled as she looked upon the excited demeanor of the young child. Alina, would it be all right if I listened to your heart, your lungs, and your belly?

Oh, yes, Dr. Johns, that's okay.

I would like to look at your surgical incision, is that okay?

Uh-huh, Alina happily agreed as she laid back and picked up her hospital gown for Tonya to examine her.

When Tonya had completed her assessment of the child, she was pleased with what she had found, aside from the two areas of discomfort Alina had pointed out to her she assumed to have been related to her recent surgery. However, mindful not to miss any detail, Tonya assured Alina's mother, I'm happy with her assessment. There's nothing that causes any immediate concern. But when I leave, I'll talk with her primary nurse and review all her labs from the past week as well as her vital sign chart just to make sure the trends are remaining in the right direction. I have been following them closely already, but I will go over them again. I may order another scan of her chest and abdomen as well just to make sure that her discomfort isn't related to anything other than her surgical incisions.

Well, what about what she said to me, Dr. Johns? Aren't you going to ask her about that? Mrs. Castine questioned.

Knowing that it was in her best interest to follow through in the mother's request, Tonya addressed her patient directly and said, Alina, your mother is worried about you because of some things you said to her. Tell me what it is that you saw or heard that makes you believe you will be in heaven soon. Did you hear one of our staff members or another patient talk about heaven, Alina?

No, Dr. Johns. My friend told me.

What friend, baby? Mrs. Castine asked with moistened eyes.

Lulu.

Lulu? Who's Lulu, baby? You don't have any friends in your class named Lulu.

No, Mommy, she's right here with me. I met her after my surgery. She visits me a lot, Mommy. Dr. Johns, she says she likes you. She says you are a good doctor, and I should trust you.

Lulu sounds like a good friend, Alina. I know she would want you to get better.

She does, Dr. Johns. But she told me, sometimes we can't get better. I'm not afraid, Dr. Johns. Mommy, don't cry. Lulu said that God is waiting for me. She said he wants to protect me and to love me.

When Tonya looked over to see Mrs. Castine's reaction, she knew she needed to take care in how she interacted with her. Finding her to be becoming hysterical once again, Tonya stood up and guided her out of the room.

When they were just outside of the child's hospital room door, Tonya said to her, Mrs. Castine, for a five-year-old child, the experiences she's had, having gone through her surgery and medical treatment, can be traumatizing. It's common for children to develop imaginary friends to help them make sense of events and environments they don't understand. It's their way of dealing with a stressful situation. But I assure you, I will keep close watch over her. If there are any changes, any at all, I will notify you as soon as I'm aware of them.

Oh, okay, Mrs. Castine was able to force herself to respond through her tears.

Determined to settle the mother's concern, Tonya quickly made her way over to the nurses' station centrally located on the unit. Finding Alina's primary nurse to be at the desk, Tonya said to her as she approached, Haley, I'm going to put in orders for Alina Castine. I want her to have scans of her chest, abdomen, and pelvis. I want to get them done today. I'll pull them up on my computer at home, so make sure someone calls me on my cell phone when the reports are ready. I know you'll be going off shift soon, so if they aren't done and back before you leave, make sure the evening shift follows up for me, okay? Haley? Hello, are you listening?

What? Scans…right…yes. I'll make sure they're done, Dr. Johns.

Curious as to what had captivated her young friend and colleague's attention, Tonya turned around and took notice of an interaction between Lia, the day charge nurse, and Dr. James, a physician hired temporarily to fill in for her colleague, Dr. Austin, who had been on an extended sick leave and was expected to soon return.

I can't believe it's his last day here with us. Couldn't Dr. Austin have been out just a little longer? Not that I want him to be sick or anything but just until…well, never mind. He wouldn't want someone like me anyway. He's good looking, brilliant, great with his patients. The kids love him.

Haley, I'm going to stop you right there. Stop doing this to yourself. You are adorable, Tonya complimented as she stood, facing the young nurse with bright blue eyes and shoulder-length, naturally wavy, light-brown hair pulled neatly back behind her head.

That's just the problem, Dr. Johns, I don't want to be just adorable. Men like him…they like women…well, like Leah.

"Haley, Lia is twenty-eight. And with the amount of silicone and plastic she's put into her body, she might as well buy stock in the manufacturer. Besides, I hate to have to be the