Insanity and Grace

By Dr. Ilana Halina Oren, PhD

For the last thirty years, Dr. Ilana Oren was honored to work with patients who trusted her with their secrets and were willing to heal the emotion of shame engulfing their lives. The experience of shame keeps one in a state of perpetual wonder: Am I good enough?

In this book, she is willing to look at the skeletons in her own closet.

Her experience as a child of survivors of the Holocaust, the last remnant of the Polish Jews, who immigrated to Israel in 1957; her grief of losing friends in the Six-Day War; and her proud experience of serving in the Israeli Defense Force.

Throughout her life, she was perplexed by the myth of the "chosen people." If we were the chosen people, what were we chosen for? Her search for meaning led her to trust her higher power, Emanuel- the Lord. Her story forms a fabric of a gripping new chapter in the history of the Jewish people.

COVER DESIGN BY KAREEN IRIS BALSAM

www.DrIlanaOren.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781645843023

Book preview

cover.jpg

Insanity and

Grace

Dr. Ilana Halina Oren, PhD

Copyright © 2019 Dr. Ilana Halina Oren, PhD

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2019

ISBN 978-1-64584-300-9 (pbk)

ISBN 978-1-64584-302-3 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

For my family.

Prologue

The Radio Interviews

After spending a week of vacation with Mike Spain in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, I was back in my office in Gilbert, Arizona. Cynthia, my secretary, left me a note from Mercedes, a representative from All Business Media FM radio, inquiring if I would be interested in being a guest speaker on the radio, discussing my work. I called her back, and my first question was, How did you hear about me? Her response was music to my ears: We searched two websites, and we liked what your students and patients had to say about you. I was informed that they would send me an e-mail which stated the following:

Welcome to All Business Media FM, congratulations on your upcoming live eight-minute radio interview with us on June 4, 2018, at 3:00 p.m. EST (1:00 p.m. MST). This is a wonderful way for you to inspire others while telling your story. Please tell your friends, family, and business associates to click on the links http://www.allbusinesmediafm.com/studio2 and https://tunein.com/radio/All-Business-Media-Nationwide-s281640/, and your broadcast can be heard live the day of your show. Please review the preliminary interview questions below and return the answers via e-mail.

Sincerely,

Administration Department

All Business Media FM

Phone: [phone]

http://allbusinessmediafm.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ABM_FM

I was very excited, which felt a bit like anxiety. I realized that my computer skills were minimal. I didn’t even know how to post the links on Facebook to notify my family, colleagues, and friends of the upcoming interview. Well, my beautiful daughters Donna and Kareen, as well as my dear Mormon friend Dr. Drew Brown came to my rescue. I felt that I had finally arrived in the twenty-first century.

The last question of the preliminary interview was this: Where do you see yourself in the future? It was easy to answer: "I want to publish my book titled Insanity and Grace."

I realized that I am not ready for the future, and I decided to spend the next nine months to finally give birth to my book. I also decided to enjoy the process of writing the book, which meant that I would be mindful of self-care. I gave myself permission to have a glass of wine with dinner when I listened to my favorite show on National Public Radio (NPR), Fresh Air, Terry Gross’s interviews, especially with authors that recently published their work.

The following were the questions that I had to answer and e-mail back to the radio station.

Name as I want to appear: Dr. Ilana Halina Oren

Number to contact for the show: 480-818-0227

Business website: www.DrIlanaOren.com

Business name: Arizona Renewal Ranch, LLC.

E-mail: [e-mail]

Position or professional title: licensed marriage and family therapist, certified hypnotherapist, and health coach

Business location: 2915 East Baseline Road, Suite 101, Gilbert, Arizona 85234

Please give a description of your company and the products or services you offer:

Tell us about the background of your business:

Please list three different aspects of your work that you would like to focus on in this interview:

I was first licensed by the State of California back in 1976 as a marriage and family therapist and by the State of Arizona in 2004. My office is located in a medical suite called Innovative Primary Care. The providers approach is holistic, which means that we view health as a total sum of the following: emotional well-being, physical wellness, nutrition as medicine, vitamins, and exercise. Dr. Sandra Levitt, MD, specializes in internal medicine, and if medication is needed, she will prescribe it as well. It is a very busy office. We have two physician, two nurse practitioners and one physician assistant. I provide individual counseling and relational counseling.

I use hypnosis, also called hypnotherapy, for the following problems: anxiety, phobia and panic attacks, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), alcoholism, addiction to nicotine and drugs, love and sex addiction, including pornography. I have used hypnosis to treat eating disorders, which includes anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and addiction to refined carbohydrates.

I had written my doctoral dissertation on The Impact of Spiritual Experiences on the Process of Recovery from Addiction, which was a feature article in a professional magazine, Professional Counselor: The Voice of the Addiction Treatment Field (June 1994, volume 8, number 6).

The three aspects of my work that I would like to focus on in this interview are as follows:

The first is counseling and hypnosis. I am honored to provide counseling services to American veterans, especially to the Wounded Warriors. They seemed to have a good rapport with me when I shared with them that I am a veteran of the Israeli Defense Force.

The second is presenting workshops and trainings. I have been presenting workshops and trainings for professional conferences in the US and internationally, such as The International Congress on Ericksonian Hypnosis and Psychotherapy for the years 2001, 2004, 2008, 2011, and 2015 on the topic Addictions and Recovery. I presented for the Fifth European Congress on Hypnosis and Psychotherapy in 2014 on the topic Hypnosis as the Pathway to Healing and Creativity. In 2011, I had presented for the Annual Hypnosis Conference in Israel, a course titled The Use of Hypnosis in the Treatment of Food Addictions.

I am on the faculty of Wayland Baptist University. I taught courses on a variety of topics, preparing students to obtain their master’s in counseling.

I presented workshops for the Superior Court of Arizona, Maricopa County Human Resources, and Motorola on the following subjects:

Depression and Suicidal Ideation

Professional and Personal Boundaries: How to Deal with Sexual Harassment

Dreams: The Healing Power of Our Nighttime Lives

Anger, Conflict Resolution, and the Journey of Forgiveness

Self-Esteem and Productivity

Motivational Interviewing

Stress Management: It’s All in Your Mind

The third aspect of my work that I enjoy is being a health coach. What prepared me for this aspect of my work was the years of being a licensed psychotherapist, as well as a speaker and a trainer in Europe, the Middle East, and throughout the US, including Hawaii.

What is a health coach? The terms health coach, personal coach, or life coach are often used interchangeably. Health coaching is based on a relationship between the client and the coach, with an explicit goal to motivate her or him to set and attain goals for the health of the body, as well as professional and personal goals. This will include obtaining and maintaining ideal weight, being free of addictive behaviors, and having balance in life between work and play. The coach provides support, guidance, and advice.

As your coach, we will set the professional objectives that you may have, as well as the vision that you have for your personal life. I will teach you the steps to be a more confident individual with positive self-esteem and self-worth so you can learn to express positive and loving attitude toward yourself and others. You will also learn self-hypnosis so you can utilize your inner resources and your creativity to actualize the dreams that you have for your life. As a health coach, I can work with clients via telephone and Skype.

On June 4, 2018, I started my day praying and practicing my meditation ritual. Then I followed by a reading from Daily Word. The reading for the day was this:

You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, my refuge and my fortress: my God, in whom I trust. (Psalm 91:1–2)

Before the show, I received a text message from Mike Spain: Honey, I know you are going to be fantastic this afternoon on the radio. All your hard work is paying off. I wish you continued success, with all my love.

At 1:00 p.m., I had received a call from the radio station, and the eight-minute live interview from New York was on. The interviewer, Mr. Celery, asked me about my work and why people chose me as their therapist. I responded that I have very good ranking with the insurance companies that I am contracted with, and maybe being a therapist was like an old wine, we got better with time. The eight minutes felt like a blink of an eye.

The following day, June 5, 2018, I had received a voice mail: Hello, this message is for Dr. Ilana Oren. My name is Bishop Warrinton. I am the executive producer from All Business Media. I am calling today regarding how you did on your eight-minute interview yesterday, so when you get a chance, call me back at your earliest convenience. I would appreciate it very much. My direct line is 631-656-8354 extension 138. I will say again, the name is Bishop Warrinton. Have a wonderful day. Looking forward to speaking to you soon, bye-bye.

I had called him back, and I was very happy to hear that I did a phenomenal job. The radio produces sixty to seventy shows a week. Their average score was 8.8 and my score was 9.4. This was the highest score that they ever had. He invited me to be back on the show on Monday, June 25, 2018, for thirty minutes.

The show went very well. The interviewer was Mr. Rob Whetham. He asked me who and what inspired me to become a career professional.

My father, I responded. "When I was a little girl, about six, my parents’ friends would come over to visit. Once I started talking, he would say, ‘Shahs! My daughter the psychologist is talking.’ Consequently, I did not have any fear of public speaking. My father would often remind me that this world belongs to the brave, so I was determined to be brave.

When I started my graduate work, I was impressed by a statement that one of the professors at University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) made. He said that counseling was an integration of art and science. The artistic aspect would be the therapist’s ability to connect with the patient, to gain their trust, that indeed I am here to be of service to them on their journey of recovery and self-discovery. The scientific aspect would be the body of knowledge necessary to understand human behavior, systemic interactions, theories of counseling, and how to treat the variety of mental disorders as listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) published the American Psychiatric Association.

I love my work, and I feel that being a therapist and a health coach is my calling, God’s will for my life.

I talked about hypnotherapy, addictions, and suicide. The entire interview is on my website: www.DrIlanaOren.com.

Following the interview, Mike Spain texted me: You were fantastic, honey. My friend in California was listening, and he said that you sound just like Dr. Ruth.

The following day, Mr. Bishop Warrinton called me and invited me to do five more interviews.

I replied, "I would love to, after my book Insanity and Grace is published."

What is the book about? he asked.

The book is my personal story, the obstacles that I had to overcome, which I hope will inspire other women and men. I will also write about my professional life and how my work weaved into the tapestry of my personal life and truly became my Saving Grace.

Chapter 1

Poland

1947-1957

Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, begin it now.

—Goethe

I was born in Poland on December 5, 1947, in a small village called Dzierżoniów in Southwestern Poland. My parents, David and Hanna Niemiec, survived the Holocaust and the atrocities of World War II in Siberia, Russia. I have one sister, Miriam. She was born on March 6, 1942, in the capital of Siberia, Tomsk. After the war, my parents returned to Poland.

The German Wehrmacht poured across the Polish frontier on September 1, 1939. World War II started. The war ended after the suicide of Adolf Hitler and the subsequent German unconditional surrender on May 8, 1945. Japan formally surrendered on September 2, 1945, thus ended the war in Asia. World War II