Transition: End of Life Issues

By Jeffrey D. Millman M.D.

Fear of death is probably most people's greatest fear. End of life is sad, but it does not need to be fearful. The best antidote to fear is knowledge. Dr. Millman addresses clearly and in detail concerns about getting affairs in order, obtaining help and assistance, DNR, POLST, and hospice. He discusses near death experiences that have revealed what happens to our body, and our soul, as we cross over to the other side. With a kind and caring manner he talks about the many emotions that arise and how best to cope with them. Approaching the transition process from a spiritual perspective reveals a "big picture" that brings us comfort and reassurance, uplifting us emotionally and spiritually.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Sep 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982271060

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Copyright © 2021 Jeffrey D. Millman, M.D.

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and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or

prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical,

emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician,

either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer

information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional

and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-7105-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-7106-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021913128

Balboa Press rev. date: 09/23/2021

I

dedicate this book to my best friend

who knows the other side better than I do

I wish to sincerely thank

Tara Millman-Martin, MSW

for transcribing this book

for her assistance on hospice care

and

for her unfailing emotional support

through everything

Also by Jeffrey D. Millman, M.D.

Leap of Faith: Transforming Physical and

Emotional Pain into Spiritual Growth

CONTENTS

Chapter 1:     Search For Answers

Chapter 2:     Transition

Chapter 3:     Near Death Experience (NDE)

Chapter 4:     The Other Side

Chapter 5:     Coma

Chapter 6:     Ego

Chapter 7:     Fear

Chapter 8:     Pain

Chapter 9:     When Does End Of Life Begin?

Chapter 10:   Hospice

Chapter 11:   Help

Chapter 12:   Getting Affairs In Order

Chapter 13:   Emotional Well Being

Chapter 14:   Spirituality And Religion

Chapter 15:   Euthanasia

Chapter 16:   Reincarnation

Chapter 17:   Epilogue

Appendix: Kinesiology Muscle Testing

Appendix: POLST Sample

CHAPTER 1

SEARCH FOR ANSWERS

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I see death and dying every working day. I see so much pain and suffering, physical and emotional. As a family practice medical doctor almost every patient encounter addresses pain in one form or another.

Why?

I had to make sense of it, otherwise it was too depressing. Sure I had learned in my medical training how to alleviate pain. I certainly have written my share of non-narcotic and narcotic pain relievers. And I do my best to help my patients cope with the emotional issues they are attempting to deal with in their lives.

Yet the nagging question of why required an explanation that would allow me to be more than a dispenser of medications, but as a healer, to be able to understand my patients’ challenges and difficulties with greater empathy. If I could grasp the meaning of human pain and suffering I would be better able to advise my patients how best to deal with their situations. If there was a higher purpose to our pain, more than just enduring it, maybe I could guide them or help them see more clearly what may be causing their problems. Clarity would give me and them insight into how best to resolve the issues and not just put a band-aid/temporary quick fix on them.

So began my spiritual quest. It started after my father died in 1987. Up to that point I had been in private practice in a rural Minnesota farming community, then a small city family practice in northern Nevada, and at the time my father died of lung cancer I was a full-time associate professor at the University of Nevada School of Medicine, Department of Family and Community Medicine.

As a practitioner and teacher of family medicine I had learned how to cope with dying. I was taught in my training the importance of detachment. I had to maintain a professional attitude, which meant give all the factual information to patient and family about their illness, offer remedies, but always keeping a boundary between myself and the patient — a separation, a distance, an emotional detachment. Feeling my feelings would interfere with my objectivity. Expressing my feelings to my patient was considered unprofessional. And any mention of God or spiritual issues was downright unethical.

Like my colleagues I did what was expected of me, and it worked…. until my father died. He was a good man, an ordinary man, unique as are we all, but just another human being on planet Earth. But to me he was my father, who I loved. I watched his health deteriorate as he tried radiation and chemotherapy to no avail, and witnessed the pain he endured at the end. Why should he suffer? Of course his three pack per day cigarette habit caused the cancer, but lots of people smoke cigarettes and don’t die of lung cancer. Why? Why do bad things happen to all of us? Is there a reason why everyone has pain? Is there a higher purpose to human suffering?

Perhaps the meaning of meaning is that there is no meaning. You’re born, you live, you die. Stop trying to make sense of it and accept your lot in life. Or do we, by virtue of our human consciousness, possess the capability of expanding our awareness to grant us an understanding of our existence, to see a higher purpose to each of our lives.

I embarked on my search for answers. I spent years studying the writings of spiritual masters and various religions. This allowed me to explore many metaphysical concepts and philosophies. It became apparent that there are some basic principles common to all belief systems that are genuine and good. Doing no harm, living an honorable life, and seeking the wisdom of God became my goal.

But the medical scientist in me resisted. All this hocus pocus was unscientific. As a traditionally trained medical doctor I have spent many years learning the scientific knowledge that has allowed me to diagnose and treat illness. Using my rational mind, my left brain, I acquired and processed information necessary to become a good physician and surgeon. The basis behind scientific study is that all new information required the scrutiny of double-blind reproducible studies to be accepted as valid. Although I learned my profession well and became a reputable family doctor, seeking spiritual explanation for the pains of life was not amenable to scientific protocol.

My search for the meaning behind human pain and suffering came up against a wall. Understanding spiritual concepts was beyond the scope of rational thinking. My five sense reality was limited. Concepts like God cannot be validated by science. We cannot prove the existence of spiritual concepts with our five senses, or instruments that are an extension of these senses. It is only with our sixth sense, our intuitive sense, that we can begin to grasp the higher purpose to human existence.

It took meditation to bring my focus from my rational mind to my intuitive mind. In meditation I was able to transcend my ordinary three dimensional reality and experience the fourth dimension.

How does that happen? Meditation is simply slow deep breathing with eyes closed while refocusing the mind from endless chatter to concentration on a repetitive phrase or counting.

The repetitive phrase can be a mantra said over and over, like:

Om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum

I am relaxed, I am relaxed

Or it can be breathing in slowly to the count of four, breathing out slowly to the count of four — counting silently to four with each breath in, and each breath out. 1234, 1234.

At a psychoneurological level this results in our brain waves changing to a more predominant alpha electrical pattern. In alpha the pulse rate drops, blood pressure decreases, arteries dilate and the hands warm up. As I sensed my hands warming up I would realize that I was no longer in my body. If I lost my focus I became aware of my body, but with one deep breath I was back in the ethers, transcended back into the fourth dimension.

The fourth dimension is amazing. Called many things by many different authors and spiritual teachers, I call it Invisible Energy. Simply, it is energy vibrating at a level that is not perceivable by our five human senses. It is only with our sixth sense that we can be aware of subtle energy.

After achieving a relaxed meditative state I would ask a question that perplexed me in my search for answers. I would ask it three times and then be quiet. Suddenly the answer came telepathically to my still mind. In a second. Immediate. And then, like a stream of consciousness, I would receive a detailed answer. That’s when I grabbed my writing tablet nearby and began writing down these telepathic thoughts. I began to practice this technique of asking a question…. and then receiving a telepathic response. At first it was while in an alpha state of meditation. Over the years I have been strengthening my sixth sense to the point that now it is as strong as my other five senses. I no longer require quieting my other senses — they all work synchronously without any specific effort — only that I be aware and pay attention.

With time, what I came to realize was a better understanding of this process of connecting with Invisible Energy. I was using my sixth sense to facilitate the link between my intuitive mind and Invisible Energy, allowing me to be able to ask a question and receive an answer telepathically. I began to wonder what actually was the source of these answers? I acknowledged that it was all fourth dimensional, invisible, telepathic, but what exactly was I plugging into with my sixth sense? Intrigued by the intuitive dialogue I was establishing in my journey to better understanding the meaning of life, it came to me one day in a flash of insight, that it was my Higher self.

It has taken me years to grasp an understanding of the Higher self. Our Higher self is our soul. When I was younger my concepts of soul were always vague and ethereal. Some sort