Diaries of Shackles Removed: Lost Scrolls

By R. D. Pryor

And I went to sleep, knowing that my friend had made the decision that he no longer wanted me around. He knew that my life was too messy to be a part of his, and I knew that being part of the pastors of my church's family was not an option. My life was way too raggedy, tainted, and dysfunctional. I knew that I had to keep moving forward and not looking back. Our good friendship was over, and I just needed to continue to move forward. I had come too far to turn around now.

And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:1-2)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9781685173098

Book preview

cover.jpg

Diaries of Shackles Removed

Lost Scrolls

R. D. Pryor

Copyright © 2022 by R. D. Pryor

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Fear

Triggers

Trust

Commitment

Determined/Motivated

Joy

Balance

Focus

And do not be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

—Romans 12:2

From the Author

It is recommended before you read this book that you read the following:

Diaries of Shackles Removed—Shackled

Diaries of Shackles Removed—Living Shackled

It will help you understand the concept of this book. You will need to know how it all started. This is a continuation of the other manuscripts. If you have already read the other two, let us get started.

Always use your voice,

R. D. Pryor

Prologue

And then he said it—the words that I needed to hear. He looked me dead in the face and grabbed my hands, and he said, Babe, I just want you to know that I love you just like Christ loves the church.

Right then, at that very moment, I needed to run. I needed to get out of that house and away from this man. Why would he be listening to me in my house? How would he know that was what I was waiting to hear from someone to make the right decision? He had to be listening, but how? There was not any way that God had given him the right words to say to me. There was not a way that he knew exactly what to say to me at this moment, the right time, and the right words. There was no way; how?

I finished the dinner for our family that night. I did not say anything to him about what he had just said to me. We ate our dinner, and I left the house that night, knowing that I would not return. I could not ruin the relationship that we had worked so hard to build. I could not allow for his feelings toward me to override what we knew would not work. We had way too many children for this to ever work. He had two boys and a daughter; I had three of my boys living with me, two cousins, a grandmother, and an aunt to worry about. That was way too much to take on. We would make the worse decision in the world to join all this madness together. We would never make it. I had to help him make the right decision. My mind was made up; after we ate dinner, I would just leave and not come back.

After we ate dinner that night, instead of us staying the night that night, I got my kids together, and we left. I did not want to expose us to any more anguish and harm. We had enough of that in our lives already. I was moving forward, and getting married was not going to be a part of our circle anymore. I had not succeeded two times before, and I knew that regardless of him saying those words to me, it just would not work.

What was he thinking by saying those words to me? He knew how I felt about that. He knew that I had been abused. There was nothing that he did not know about me. Why does he want me to be a part of his life anyways? I do not fit the mode of a pastor’s kid. They do not do anything wrong. They have all been raised in the church. They have not been raped, abused mentally and physically; and they have been in church all their lives. His family likes me as a church member, but how will they accept me as a part of their family if they knew my past. It is not anything like theirs. Why would he make the decision to run me off like this? Maybe he is tired of hanging around me. Maybe he knew that this would run me off. That is it! He does not want me around anymore. He knew exactly what to say to me to make me leave. Now I understand, my friend. If you do not want me around, all you have to do is say it. Why did you want to hurt me? I knew you were just like the other men in my life; you are out to just destroy me. That is okay. I have left, and you do not have to worry about me coming back. Thanks, my friend, for the great time of growing to become a better person for my children. I really appreciate all the help that you had given me in the process. I understand. I will not be back. It is okay. My children and I will be simply fine without you. I know now that I can live for God without restrictions. You have taught me a lot about staying focused on the prize. I will continue to move forward. Ecclesiastes 3 in the Bible talks about: there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. A time to be born and