How Did This Happen to Me?

By GR8 Relationships

Finding freedom in our relationships

As humans, we want to be in control. So when we experience a moment where we feel like our world has collapsed-through a broken relationship or traumatic event-we often don't know how to cope.

What if we surrendered control to the Creator of the universe? R

• Language: English
• Publisher: Equip Press
• Release date: Dec 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781958585146

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Copyright © 2022 GR8 Relationships

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without prior written permission.

Published by Equip Press, Colorado Springs, CO

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®) copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV® Text Edition: 2011. The ESV® text has been reproduced in cooperation with and by permission of Good News Publishers. Unauthorized reproduction of this publication is prohibited. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®.

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Scripture quotations marked (NRSV) are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

First Edition: 2022

How Did This Happen To Me? / GR8 Relationships

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-958585-11-5

eBook ISBN:978-1-958585-14-6

Table of Contents

Hermann and Louie’s Story

Hermann

Louie

Who is to Blame?

What is The Problem?

What is The Solution?

The Flashing ME

Are you Acting Like a Baby?

A Better Question

Will You Be Served by Others or Serve Others?

Love Versus Selfishness

What Breaks Down?

Feelings

Feelings Can Create Problems

Feelings and Behavior

Freedom

Freedom Defined

Irresponsible Freedom

Forgiveness

Guilt is the Problem

Confession

What is the Best ME?

Feelings

Act the Way You Want to Feel

Help Attitudes Change

Thinking/Feeling Principle

Freedom

Freedom – Great for Relationships

Responsible Freedom

Freedom Is Divine

Forgiveness

Forgiveness Pleases God

Forgiveness Imitates God

Forgiveness Escapes Serious Consequences

Your Choice

Forgiveness Process

Step One: Stop the Bleeding – Face Your Humanity

Step Two: Clean the Wound – Overlook Revenge

Step Three: Apply Antibiotic – Renew Your Mind

Step Four: Cover the Wound -- Give it Up, Grasp it No More

Step Five: Change the Dressing Regularly – Apply Your Decision

Step Six: Look for Signs of Infection – Validate and Verify Your Decision

Step Seven: Enjoy Healing – and Freedom

Confession Process

Step One: Choose Humility

Step Two: Own Your Guilt. Do Not Excuse It.

Step Three: Name the Real Offense

Step Four: Feel the Offense as they Felt It

Step Five: Earnestly Repent of your Sin

Step Six: Soberly Confess your Sin

Step Seven: Sincerely Thank God for the Conflict

Epilogue

Study Guide

Scripture Meditation

Who’s to Blame?

What Breaks Down?

What is the Best ME?

Forgiveness Exercise

Tools

How Did This Happen to Me?!

Has your world been rocked by an event you didn’t expect? Are you reeling from a hurt relationship or someone walking out on you? Sometimes traumatic events shock you into action in order to move you toward a corrected or more excellent path in life.

This book and these sessions are designed to:

•Help you discover why your life surprised you. What is it that you missed that allowed the destruction in an important relationship?

•Inform you of the damage caused by misguidance and misunderstanding regarding Feelings, Freedom, Forgiveness and Confession.

•Show you how to use Feelings, Freedom, Forgiveness and Confession in ways that are constructive and life-giving.

Why was the GR8 Relationships Training Born?

The GR8 Relationships ministry started with a painful and poignant tipping point in founder Hermann Eben’s life. Hermann confesses, It honestly took me by surprise. I was not a victim in the scenario, but it was a slap in the face that woke me up to so much about me, my wife, and our relationship. It caused me to look at my relationship with God more closely, too.

Hermann and Louie’s Story

¹

Every relationship has two perspectives on the story, since at least two people are involved, and they view situations differently, from their own lens. As you observe the perspectives of this opening story, reflect on how you relate to it. What do you identify with and what makes you shudder at the memory of something in your own life that knocked you off your feet?

Hermann

You can categorize moments in your life by looking for times of happiness, sorrow, anger, discouragement, or even peace. Generally, the moments that are the most vivid create the greatest chance for change and learning.

For me, three vivid times where I cried because of a major epiphany marked specific learning events in my life in 1981, 1991, and 1999. Each one of the events are still vivid in my memory.

1981

The event in 1981 is