What Damages Relationships?

By GR8 Relationships

Recognizing Our Own Faults

Everyone loves to play the blame game. We point at the other person in the relationship as the problem. They must change their behavior and attitude-it's not our fault there are relational wounds and scars.

However, Romans 2:1 would disagree. It says, "You, therefore

• Language: English
• Publisher: Equip Press
• Release date: May 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9781958585207

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Copyright © 2023 GR8 Relationships

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Published by Equip Press, Colorado Springs, CO

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®) copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV® Text Edition: 2011. The ESV® text has been reproduced in cooperation with and by permission of Good News Publishers. Unauthorized reproduction of this publication is prohibited. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Scripture quotations marked (NRSV) are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

First Edition: 2023

What Damages Relationships? / (GR8 Relationships)

Paperback ISBN: : 978-1-958585-19-1

eBook ISBN: 978-1-958585-20-7

Contents

Introduction

The Flashing ME in Business

Unknown Judgment for Women

Three Elements of Woman’s Judgment

Pain with Children

Desire for Her Husband

Ruled by Her Husband

How Judgments Play Out

Unknown Judgment for Men

Adam’s Curse

Followed Didn’t Lead

The Ground is Cursed

From Dust to Dust

The Battle Between Design and Judgments

The Real Issue—The Flashing Me

Alternative Structure

Women—Judgment Versus Design

Men—Judgment Versus Design

Battle Between Designs and Judgments

Women’s Battle

Men’s Battle

Judgments and Marriage

God’s Solution

Summary

Study Guide

Tools

Introduction

Relationships become complex because of what we at GR8 Relationships call the Flashing ME . Essentially the Flashing ME describes a focus on your ME , that is, always looking to fulfill what you want and the way you want it, rather than focusing on what is the highest and best for someone else. Worse yet, relationships are further complicated because of the judgments God placed on men and women. We’ll look at how this Flashing ME and the judgments fuel different behavior for men and women. Since men are designed to work with the role of provider, protector, and preserver and women are designed to relate w ith the role of helper, nurturer, and supporter, the Flashing ME shows up in different ways.

What is the Flashing ME?

When you have problems in a relationship, don’t you typically point your finger at the other person? Do you find yourself thinking or saying these phrases?

You need to do it my way.

You need to make me happy.

You need to change. (I am okay, you aren’t!)

These phrases are indicators that your ME is flashing. Your ME is flashing? Here’s the concept, in case it is new for you.

You might be wondering what Flashing ME means. More than likely, it’s your biggest problem, and exactly what it sounds like. Your ME is your focus. It demands that you serve yourself, demand your way and focus on yourself more than focusing on or serving others.

The fact that you may not see how often you focus on yourself (that is on ME) is a sad thought. When other people are selfish and self-absorbed, you notice, but not when you do it. Is that true for you? It is for me.

When others are selfish, it is like they have the word ME flashing on their forehead. But when I do it, I cannot see it, because it is on my forehead above my eyes. I can be totally selfish, not interested in serving others, which means my ME is flashing brightly enough to light a house, but I do not see it. I can look at this another way and ask myself if I am acting like a baby.

Flashing ME—Different for Men and Women

Since men and women were intentionally designed by God for different roles it makes sense that the Flashing ME manifests differently in them. Women are designed to relate, so they