Rule 69: Love-in-Quarantine, #2

By Hannah Altagracia

When two people decide to be roommates, they should: 
1. Discuss the budget.
2. Know each other.
3. Absolutely NOT fall in love!

 

When freelance writer Isabelle Santiago decides to rent a luxury apartment she can't afford in downtown Nashville, she desperately puts out an ad searching for a roommate. Only one person replies, and Isabelle happily accepts despite never having met them.

The last thing she anticipates, though, is a sultry-eyed guitar playing hunk to show up at the realtor's office proclaiming to be her roommate. This is a bad idea! And Isabelle definitely does not have time for men like him!

But tearing up the lease of her dreams is not an option. Instead, Isabelle decides on a set of rules (69 to be exact) that will prevent her from hooking up with her new roomie. The rules will absolutely not be broken! No ifs, ands, buts–butt...his butt...this may be more complicated than she thought.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hannah Altagracia
• Release date: Dec 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215228357

Book preview

Chapter 1

Rule #1: Don’t talk to me when I’m hungry

As he rested, he was beautiful to stare at, the morning sun hitting his lashes through my blinds. His breath warm against my skin. I knew he was the only one for me. My fingers ran through his fur. A soft meow escaped his lips.

Yes, Gordan, it’s breakfast time.

He meowed in reply, though whether in confirmation that he heard me or in a continued demand, I wasn’t sure.

As I set my feet on the carpeted floor of my studio apartment, Tadpole rubbed against my ankles.

I see you too, I said, giving him a pet on top of the head, and I’m headed to the kitchen right now. 

Ten steps later, I was in the kitchen. The perks of tiny living. It wasn’t tiny living in the luxurious sense of the phrase but more in the four-hundred-square-foot apartment in the jankiest part of town currently serving as my more-than-humble abode sense.

I glanced through the cabinets, their chipped paint falling onto the laminate countertops and their shelves containing only a bag of gourmet cat food and a box of cheerios.

My apartment was packed in boxes, but for the few essentials I needed to live off of. This was manifesting my dream life at its finest. I wasn’t moving—yet!—but I’d chosen to speak into existence my dream apartment in downtown Nashville by packing my belongings. Yes, it’d been two months of living like this while I searched for the perfect place, but who said manifesting happened overnight? 

I filled the seven large tin bowls on the floor with cat food, my babies coming from all corners of the apartment to feast. My phone began to buzz, and I caught it just before it landed on Gordan’s head.

My realtor’s name flashed across the screen. I’d stopped feeling excited about her calls after each one had resulted in her showing me an apartment that failed to meet every checkmark on my list, but I answered anyway.

Isabelle. Her voice came through hard on my speaker. I got that I probably wasn’t one of her favorite clients, but she could at least pretend I didn’t grind her nerves.

Sophie, how are you? I wasn’t going to let her crabby temper get to me.

She skipped the pleasantries. I’ve found another place. Can you meet me this afternoon?

I can meet you in thirty minutes.

Nine a.m. is not the afternoon, she huffed. I know my brother referred you to me—

Great guy!

He was until you broke his heart. Now he won’t move out of my garage.

I’m not responsible for his decisions. I picked at my nail, the blue polish still fresh from my manicure three days ago. 

But you are responsible for how you break up with people.

I didn’t tell him to move out! If I sounded defensive, I was undoubtedly in the right. Terance had a way of making me sound like the bitch of every situation. Which was precisely why I was in the right to break up with him in the first place. I’m creating my dream life, Sophie, and he—

Didn’t fit your list of demands? She let the question hang in the air before adding, Anyways, he’s not too happy with my still helping you find a place after you broke his heart and kept the apartment he chose—

Again, he could have stayed. It’s only awkward if he makes it awkward.

There was an unfortunate silence, which forced me to sit with the vision of Terance and me attempting to make life work in this cramped apartment until we found new places to live. I was always the optimist in these situations, a trait that could bite me in the ass when it came to relationships. 

Today will be the last place I show you. Sophie’s frustration resulted in a biting tone. If you hate this showing, I can refer you to a colleague who I’m sure will love showing you another seventy-five places.

I’m creating my dream life, Sophie. These things don’t happen overnight!

Isabelle, honestly, I don’t care. 

My mouth about fell open at her candid remark. Now that we were about to break up, I guess she had no problem saying what was on her mind. I grabbed my thick black curls in frustration, the remnants of last night’s coconut oil moisturizing treatment making my fingers slick. Texas and Dumpling looked up at me from their empty bowls, meowing for more. They were truly the only reason I stayed so focused on my vision board. They deserved the best, and Mama wasn’t going to compromise. So what time?

Meet me at three p.m.

So late?

It’s reservation only. And bring a cashier’s check for $1500.

What if I don’t like—

Gotta go. Sophie’s end of the line went silent, and I was left with a burning feeling in my chest.

Is today the day? I asked Gemini, her gold-flecked eyes judging me between her slitted lids. I’ll take that as a yes. I rubbed my hands together, my meditation corner calling me. C’mon, universe. I’m ready for what you have in store. I breathed in deeply. I exhale all doubt, welcoming whatever and whoever needs to be in my path to propel my dream life forward.

Isabelle?

I turned to find my neighbor/another ex-boyfriend/a person who would definitely not propel my life forward. I locked my door, speeding up my pace. Oh hey. I reached to pull out my phone in an attempt to make myself seem busy, only to realize I had left it inside. If I opened the door again, I risked him following me inside, and lord knew what would happen if I found myself in close quarters with him.

Look, he said, combing back his long brown hair with his fingers. The same hair I’d pulled while riding him harder than a bull. I know things ended kind of weird—

I held up my hand. Elijah, I don’t want to talk—

It’s Bhakti now.

I sighed, not in disbelief but in frustration. Bhakti?

He nodded enthusiastically.

As in the Hindu spiritual practice? The way he nodded in response, with his eyes wide open, reminded me of a puppy staring at a treat being dangled over his head. See, this is why we can’t date. You’re highly-offensive for a white boy and just plain stupid as a human being.

He opened his arms. The spirit knows not the color of my skin.

That’s because your spirit is so fucking tainted.

Your Virgo is showing!

I raised one of my flawlessly groomed eyebrows. As if your Leo isn’t? He was the reason why no partner of mine moving forward would be a fire sign. By the way, I’m moving.

Are you? He looked into my apartment. Even through the grimy windows, with