Caring For Us

By Kathy Krach

When you fall in love and marry, the last thing you imagine is your spouse being diagnosed with a long term debilitating illness. Suddenly you become a caregiver, and life as you planned it changes dramatically. What started as a loving relationship can become isolating and stressful, and resentment can sometimes creep in. But it doesn't have to

• Language: English
• Publisher: Palmetto Publishing
• Release date: Aug 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885909839

Kathy Krach

Kathy Krach started her career at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida, where she became board certified in diagnostic radiology and computed tomography. She then accepted a position as clinical coordinator for the radiology program at Keiser University in Jacksonville, where she worked for several years. Kathy has been married to her husband for over 34 years. Together they have one daughter and two grandsons. She loves to travel and entertain family and friends.

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CHAPTER 1

A BRIEF HISTORY

M

y husband, Jim and I were both born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. We are both the youngest of a two sibling family. Jim has an older sister, Joanne, and I have an older brother, Frank. Our families composed of typical blue-collar fathers and mothers whose main priority was the home and children. While our dads worked to make ends meet, our moms were milk ladies at school.

Jim and I dating summer 1987 Ocean City, Maryland

For my brother and I, preparing for vacation meant rolling coins into paper sleeves with mom each spring then cashing them in at the bank. This would determine if we could take one or two weeks vacation in Ocean City, Maryland. Our days were spent on the beach and the evenings on the Ocean City Boardwalk. We grew up loved and happy.

CHAPTER 2

OUR GENESIS

S

everal years passed and Jim and I came together to create our own family which quickly included the addition of our baby girl, Ashley.

In 1992, Jim worked for CSX (Chessie/Seaboard Railroad) in Baltimore. Blocks from where I grew up, we shared a small semi-detached, brick house with our then three-year-old daughter, Ashley, and our Labrador Retriever, Tasha. I was working part-time for a podiatrist and spent weekend evenings waitressing at a Mexican restaurant. Jim spent Monday through Friday at the railroad and helped his friend Bryan, a general contractor, build decks on the weekend.

Ashley’s Christening November 1988

Jim received word that CSX would be transferring several departments from Baltimore to Jacksonville, Florida. Although our current life was comfortable, we soon learned Jim’s department would be moving. We were faced with a huge decision. Neither of us relished the thought of leaving our family and friends; however, this was an amazing career opportunity for Jim and who doesn’t want to live in sunny Florida. We had several long conversations and decided to take a leap of faith. Soon after, we stated packing for Jacksonville.

We found ourselves four years in to our marriage, packing up our entire lives to move 800 miles south. Suddenly we were trading gray winters full of snow and sleet for sunshine and beautiful beaches.

Everything seemed to fall in place very well in Jacksonville. Jim was very happy at his new position. We built a new home that we both loved and Ashley was making great friends at her preschool. We met so many wonderful people that were transferred from Baltimore during the same time period, some even became like family. Years went by and God continued to be so good to us.

We felt we were living the American Dream. Jim obtained his Graduate Degree at Jacksonville University and I was able to return to school after years of being a stay at home mom. First, getting my A.S. from Florida Community College at Jacksonville (since renamed Florida State College at Jacksonville). A few years later, I then earned my R.T.(R) Radiologic Technologist Board Certification from Mayo School of Health Sciences. I continued my education by earning my B.S. in Radiology from Sienna Heights University while simultaneously obtaining my Computed Tomography (CT) Board Certification. Ashley was in high school and working part-time as a barista. She had a wonderful group of friends and was doing great.

In 2002, we started building what we planned to be our forever home. It wasn’t ostentatious but it was exactly what we dreamed of. We studied many floor plans to ensure that it could be our home well into the future.

Two years later, just months after moving in our new home, Jim was laid off from CSX. After seventeen years of service, this came as quite a shock to us particularly due to the recent accolades he had received. Jim’s $20,000, 16-month graduate degree was entirely paid for by CSX. He had subsequently just received the Railroad’s very prestigious Award of Excellence which was accompanied by a sizable check.

The layoff was ultimately due to a merger; however, when you are the victim the sting is felt on a personal level. A difficult time of adjustment followed. The layoff had certainly rocked his world. A period had been inserted forcefully in his career, causing him to seem unsure of himself. I read several books to try to find the words to help him move on.

One day, I came across an article (and I wish I could remember the author but it talked about) how woman see value in themselves first through their family and secondly home. Men on the other hand, find their value in their employment, hobbies and free time. Typically, if two women meet they say, Are you married? Do you have children? How many? What ages? Men initially meet and say What do you do? Then they move to hobbies, Do you golf, fish, hunt? I have never in my life met a woman and immediately asked what she did.

I tried to help him reestablish his sense of self worth, unaware that ultimately he had to find it for himself.

Jim’s readjustment period included working for a few other companies, for example helping a friend start his mold protection business. Perseverance paid off and Jim returned to the industry that he loved, accepting a Sales and Marketing position working for Florida East Coast Railroad.

In 2010, life on White Heron Place was incredible. Ashley had graduated high school, was attending college and was living her best life. Jim had recovered nicely from the layoff years before, and was coming up on 23 years in the railroad industry. I loved my job working at the world famous Mayo Clinic Jacksonville, specializing in Computed Tomography. Our family was rounded out by our fur babies, a Chocolate Lab, Godiva and a Maltese, Lacie. While we were living the dream, fate had other plans.

CHAPTER 3

THE TRIP NORTH THAT WENT SOUTH

At least once a year we took a trip to Maryland to see family, friends and dine at our favorite restaurants. We did what we fondly referred to as the loop. Jim’s parents had since retired and moved from Baltimore to Ocean City, Maryland. My mom had passed and my dad was living in the Eastern Shore of Virginia. My brother was living in northern Maryland near Pennsylvania. Jim’s sister and her family lived in Delaware. We have various family and friends in and around Baltimore.

Due to Ashley’s work schedule she wasn’t able to accompany us like she had so many years prior. At Mayo, I met and befriended a nurse named Karen, her and her husband, Tim had become great friends of ours, so we invited them to join us. Karen and Tim were born and raised in Starke, Florida. Which is an extremely small town. We often joked about taking them to the big city.