Skiddoo!

By George V. Hobart

DigiCat Publishing presents to you this special edition of "Skiddoo!" by George V. Hobart. DigiCat Publishing considers every written word to be a legacy of humankind. Every DigiCat book has been carefully reproduced for republishing in a new modern format. The books are available in print, as well as ebooks. DigiCat hopes you will treat this work with the acknowledgment and passion it deserves as a classic of world literature.

• Language: English
• Publisher: DigiCat
• Release date: Aug 1, 2022
• ISBN: 8596547121565

Book preview

George V. Hobart

Skiddoo!

EAN 8596547121565

DigiCat, 2022

Contact: [e-mail]

Table of Contents

CHAPTER I

JOHN HENRY ON UPPER BERTHS

[Illustration: I made a short prayer and concluded to fall out.]

CHAPTER II

JOHN HENRY ON COOKS

[Illustration: Ollie was half Swede and the rest of her was deaf.]

CHAPTER III

JOHN HENRY ON PATRIOTISM

[Illustration: With the firecrackers cheering him on.]

CHAPTER IV

JOHN HENRY ON MOSQUITOES

CHAPTER V

JOHN HENRY ON STREET CAR ETIQUETTE

[Illustration: Naw, we don't take no transfers, needer!]

CHAPTER VI

JOHN HENRY ON SOCIAL AFFAIRS

CHAPTER VII

JOHN HENRY ON CHAFING DISHES

A GUIDE TO THE CHAFING DISH.

BY BUNCH JEFFERSON

(From Recipes Furnished by Famous Friends.)

MOCK BAKED BEANS.

(From a Recipe furnished by Morton Smith.)

MOCK HAM AND EGGS.

(From a Recipe furnished by De Wolf Hopper.)

MOCK LAMB CHOPS.

(From a Recipe furnished by William T. Hodge.)

HAMBURGER STEAK.

(From a Recipe furnished by Silvio Hein.)

IMITATION SAUSAGES.

(From a Recipe furnished by Frank Doane.)

IMITATION CELERY.

(From a Recipe furnished by John Park.)

IMITATION BEEF TEA.

(From a Recipe furnished by Rupert Hughes.)

IMITATION MOCK TURTLE SOUP.

(From a Recipe furnished by John L. Golden.)

IMITATION ROAST BEEF.

(From a Recipe furnished by E. W. Kemble.)

IMITATION ROAST TURKEY

(From a Recipe furnished by Dr. Percy Crandall.)

MOCK COFFEE.

(From a Recipe furnished by Daniel V. Arthur.)

MOCK GIBLETS.

(From a Recipe furnished by Edward Abeles.)

MOCK BREAKFAST BACON.

(From a Recipe furnished by A. Baldwin Sloane.)

MOCK BEEF STEAK.

(From a Recipe furnished by Joseph Coyne.)

IMITATION IRISH STEW.

(From a Recipe furnished by Charles Swayne.)

IMITATION PRUNE PIE.

(From a Recipe furnished by George W. Lederer.)

CHAPTER I

JOHN HENRY ON UPPER BERTHS

Table of Contents

I was down on the card to make a quick jump to Pittsburg a few nights ago, and I'm a lemon if I didn't draw an upper berth in the sleeping car thing!

Say! I'll be one of a party of six to go before Congress and tell all I know about an upper berth.

And I'd like to tell it right now while I'm good and hot around the collar.

The upper berth in a sleeping car is the same relation to comfort that a carpet tack is to a bare foot.

As a place to tie up a small bundle of sleep a boiler factory has it beat to a whimper.

Strong men weep every time the ticket agent says, Nothing left but an upper, and lovely women have hysterics and begin to make faces at the general public when the colored porter points up in the air and says, Madam, your eagle's nest is ready far up the mountain side.

The sleeping car I butted into a few nights ago was crowded from the cellar to the attic and everybody present bumped into everybody else, and when they weren't bumping into each other they were over in a corner somewhere biting their nails.

While the porter was cooking up my attack of insomnia I went out in the smoking-room to drown my sorrow, but I found such a bunch of sorrow killers out there ahead of me that I had to hold the comb and brush