Who Can Find A Pastor's Wife

By Dr. Shirley Durham

In search of affirmation as a Pastor wife, you will find some words of wisdom, to help you alone the journey to be intentional and purposeful.

You do so much as a Pastor's wife:  

Take time out to do self care, to find restoration and tranquility in your relationship with God. Our Savior Jesus,

• Language: English
• Publisher: Stratton Press
• Release date: Jun 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9781648959127

Dr. Shirley Durham

Dr. Shirley Durham is a Counselor and Chaplain, in the community. She is executing her passion and purpose. She enjoys serving the people of God.Help along the journey Self-help Divine through Chaplain

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Introduction

Growing up, my description of a pastor’s wife was to be seen and not heard. My upbringing was Church of Christ.

In this organization, you never heard the term pastor’s wife or first lady. All women were addressed as sisters or by their first name. I only heard the Baptist organization uses the description a pastor’s wife.

The pastors’ wives were dressed from head to toe—hats, hankies, and gloves that were very eye candy.

I said to myself, When I grow up, I want to be a pastor’s wife.

They looked fabulous and drove the finest cars.

When my husband and I were having premarital counseling, the pastor asked me, Do you know Elder Durham wants to be a pastor?

I replied, Yes, I’m so excited. That’s what I want to be, a pastor’s wife.

He asked, Do you know what you’re asking for? He continued, A pastor’s wife goes through. He used a Greek word gahanna, which means hell or trouble.

Another pastor said, A pastor’s wife is the person who is following the sheep. The pastor, who is the shepherd, is in front, leading the sheep, and when the sheep releases waste on the ground, someone is behind the sheep, picking it up. He asked me, Who do you think it is?

I answered and said, It’s another shepherd.

He replied, It is the pastor’s wife.

We hear all kinds of myths about a pastor’s wife.

After these twenty-five years, I’m still learning what it means to be a pastor’s wife.

It is my desire to let you know that being a pastor’s wife is a purposeful and intentional position with a calling to serve.

Jesus said to his disciples, The greatest among you is the servant. If you do not accept this position as a servant, you will be possibly a miserable person. Jesus also said, I did not come to be served, but I come to serve.

Before you can wear the crown, you must first carry the crown.

Family

and Ministry

Over the time as a pastor’s wife, I have been asked how do I balance church and family.

To be an effective person, there has to be order to avoid explosion. When you are overloaded with the cares of life, it can become self-destructive.

Some pastors’ wives find themselves distracted by too many things, just to name a few—husband, job, children, continuing education, being a confidant, caregiver to elderly parents. The list can be endless.

Many pastors’ wives want to have successful family and ministry but don’t know how to. They become disappointed and frustrated as they try to balance church and their own life.

The Bible doesn’t have quick references to describe the role of a pastor’s wife. That is not to say the Bible is absent of things