They Say I’M the First Lady: My Experiences as the Pastor’S Wife

By Xlibris US

This book is designed to give you a small glimpse of my life as a pastors wife. Sometimes, when you are on the outside looking in, you have the wrong perception of what this position is really about. Its not a position of platform, but a position of servant hood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 18, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499032987

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by Belinda Benton Lewis.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014910494

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4990-3299-4

                Softcover         978-1-4990-3300-7

                eBook              978-1-4990-3298-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scriptures were taken from the King James version of the Bible.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/09/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Chapter 1 Why I wrote this book

Chapter 2 I was born to do this

Chapter 3 A precious gift

Chapter 4 How did we get here?

Chapter 5 Small Church Big Church

Chapter 6 Don’t take it personal

Chapter 7 PK’s

Chapter 8 A touchy subject

Chapter 9 Why on our watch?

Chapter 10 One member with many members

Chapter 11 I love the Pastor … but his wife?

Chapter 12 Welcome Hinges

Chapter 13 Being content

Chapter 14 Who am I?

Chapter 15 I’m making it, so can you

DEDICATION

In memory of my parents; Willie and Emma Benton. To my husband, Garrick Lee Lewis Sr. My children: Precious (Jeremy); Garrick Jr. (Angel); David (Ann); and Michael. The apples of grandma’s eye: Naliyah; Garrick, III; David Jr.; and Ava Mae. Thank you all for your unconditional love.

To my mentor and, former Pastor’s wife, Sister Margaret Gainey, I pray that I could be half the Pastor’s Wife that you exemplified in my presence. Thank you to my dear friends who were so encouraging during the process of me writing this book; First Lady Michelle McBride, First Lady Regina Roberts, and First Lady Lisa Smith.

CHAPTER 1

Why I wrote this book

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord

—1 Cor. 15:58

I began jotting down notes to write this book in December 2000 , yes it’s been that long. It was prophesied to my husband and I that one of us would write a book, I just assumed it was him. Back in the year 2004, inspired by God and out of obedience to Him, I started my journey of writing this book. This book is not a copied idea but divinely given over ten years ago while pastoring in Melbourne. My heart’s desire is that this book will provide the help to those that are at the end of their rope and feeling as if no one understands.

Being a First Lady is a difficult task and at the time, I didn’t know of many books like this. I know that there are so many women out there who are having a difficult time adjusting to the role of the first lady, aka pastor’s wife. It helps you to know that someone else have been through the same thing that you’re going/have been through. I would like for this book to serve as a support; it’s a part of my testimony. Hearing about my experience may help to lighten the load and encourage you on this journey, and I pray that you not be blindsided. Keep in mind, this book will not tell it all. There are some things that you are going to have to go through and learn for yourself.

Marriages are breaking up because the position of First Lady can be painful and even stressful at times. A lot of the things we encounter we didn’t sign up for. I want every woman out there to know that you can make it. The role of the First Lady in the church is the only job that’s important to your husband’s success. You have to be flexible and your husband’s greatest cheerleader. I want to tell you in advance: you will experience triumphs and tribulations. At times, there will be moments of isolations and a road traveled with many daggers in your back.

Expect tough times and attacks, but expect great Blessings too! As the First Lady of your church, don’t be alarmed when there are periods where you feel like you’ve given so much with nothing in return, even moments where you see no growth spiritually or naturally. No matter what happens or what you see, never give up, and let nothing shake your faith in God.

Being a pastor’s wife will allow you the opportunity to touch the lives of so many people, the opportunity to introduce them to Jesus, to give hope and encouragement. Just the thought of that brings a smile to my face. Every seed that you sow will be a harvest that you will reap.

It’s important to know that this book is not to serve as a replacement for the word of God, nor is it to serve as a replacement for counseling from your leaders or spiritual parents.

Please know that being the first lady is more than sitting inside an air-conditioned church, dressed in your Casper Suit with matching shoes, hat, and handkerchief. You can be all dressed up, but empty on the inside. Being the first lady is ministry in itself; this is a position in which the Lord predestined for you; it was decided on before you were even born. God is in control and He does not make mistakes. Your husband was called, anointed, and appointed from the foundations of the world; and you too have a divine assignment, God called for the packaged deal. People think you just stumbled up on it, but God has equipped you and your mate for a time such as this. Be prayerful, and enjoy the ride. Stay focus and do the work of Him who sent you. No matter what you do, say, or give, not everybody will like you. There will even be some that feels you don’t deserve to be married to the pastor. You may even wonder where you fit in. I will tell you where … you are his wife and that’s where you fit in. Your husband cannot do it all. Can you stop him? Yes. Can you make his job as the Pastor miserable? Yes. Can you help him make his ministry thrive double yes?

You will experience criticism and even rejection. However, that’s life no matter what position you hold. Always be confident in your relationship.

This is my story and my story only. Every pastor’s wife has their own road to travel. None of our paths will be identical. Yes, there will be similarities, but none is exact. Please don’t make my situation that of your Pastor’s wife or family. The end results of my situation may vary for your situation. Regardless of the situation, my