DIVITIAE: How To Create Generational Wealth

By Dr. Doyin Okuboyejo and Raymond Aaron

Divitiae is an essential guide to help you understand how your upbringing, beliefs and mindsets about money shape your attitude towards money and wealth creation.

It empowers you to do a financial health check, get out of debt and create a positive relationship with money.

Divitiae encourages you to get educated and become financially literate; it also has several practical action steps for you to complete.
In addition, it emphasises the importance of goal setting, budget creation, saving, investing, and creating generational wealth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jul 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9781772775068

Book preview

Chapter 1

The Journey

"Life is a journey; when we stop,

things don’t go right."

Pope Francis

1

Growing Up

I grew up in a polygamous family in Nigeria, where we all live together in the same house. I am the eldest; I have sixteen other siblings. Both my parents started out as teachers, and therefore education was very important to both of them. They are not alone with this mindset; most Nigerian parents want their children to be doctors, lawyers, architects, etc.

My father used to sit us all down and tell us about the importance of education, that we should not rely on our parents’ money, that going to university and getting a good degree is a must and is something personal to us, that no one else can use our personal degree to work or take it away from you, and that this will serve us well in getting a good job in the future.

His reasons for telling us all this was because he was worried that if anything should happen to him, he did not want any of us to have to rely on the extended family or friends to look after us. Unfortunately, most Nigerians do not plan for the future; certainly, when I was growing up, there was no life insurance or anything like that to fall back on if something were to happen to my parents.

Growing up, I was not allowed to work. My father would tell me that the only thing he wanted me to do was just to focus on my education, and that whatever money I needed he would give it to me, and that I did not need to work for the peanuts that I would be paid, thereby jeopardising my education and my future job prospects.

He was always mentioning during family meetings with all his children, that he would like to have doctors, lawyers, accountants amongst his children.

From the age of eight, I always wanted to be a doctor, and when people asked me what I wanted to become, I would always say a doctor; not because my father asked me to be a doctor specifically, but he was happy about this, because he really wanted a doctor in the family. At the same time, he was worried about my decision because of me being a girl and and how long medical college takes to complete, and because it is extremely competitive and difficult to get into. In fact, he told my mother that if he knew when I was completing my university application to medical school, he would have probably discouraged me because of the competition and the length of time, and because of being a girl.

Fortunately, I got in and realised quickly that I had a bargaining power over my dad. He was extremely happy, and I would hear him bragging to his friends that he now has a doctor in the family. Anything I ask my father for, he will always give it to me; I only need to ask and it is mine. I grew up in a loving house even though we were many, and my parents would do anything for their children.

My mother used to say to us that as long as we, her children, are happy and have all that we need, she is happy, and she is happy to go without so that we have whatever we want. Her priority was her children.

I remember my grandmother saying to people that my brother and I could finish spending all the money in the bank, and she would still secretly give us more money—talk about grandparents spoiling their grandchildren.

We had maids to cook and do chores around the house, so I did not really do anything in the house. Even while I was in medical school, they would send the driver with food, money and clean clothes. In fact, I would go to the extent to say I was spoilt. I did not value money; as far as I was concerned, money is to be spent, without limit.

My parents were extremely protective of us. When I graduated from medical school and I wanted to rent a flat of my own, my father did not allow it. He told me that the driver would drop me off and pick me up from work, and he only compromised when I was able to get a flat in the compound of the same medical school that I graduated from and was working at. My clean clothes, food and money were still being sent to me from home, even though I had graduated and was receiving salary as a House Officer.

What was really ironic was that although my father wanted me to get educated and be independent and not have to rely on any man, I was not really allowed to be truly independent while growing up. I had it instilled in me to get a good degree in order to get a good job and have my own money, and not have to rely on a man to survive, and continue to spend.

My father believed that, as a father, his job was to make sure he clothed, fed and educated all of us. Thankfully, he did, and he was a very supportive and loving father that would do anything for his children. In a way, this was very good but did not set me up to value money and save money. You are probably wondering why I am mentioning all these. The reason will be revealed later as you continue to read through the book, as it forms the basis of my relationship with money at an earlier age. You are a product of your upbringing, environment and circumstances. When I am on the stage, I use my life as an example of how my upbringing shaped my relationship about money.

Practical Exercise: Write down briefly your growing up period. You do not have to do this if you find it too painful.

Learnt Behaviour from Childhood

Growing up, I learnt that what I want, I get. I learnt that I need to get an education in order to get a good job