Healing the Great Divide

By N.E.C. Iankowitz

Healing the Great Divide delivers poignant messages and truths designed to facilitate self-healing. The reader is encouraged to embrace self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-love. Through analogy and metaphor, the author validates the reader, offering avenues of respite utilizing short stories to help traverse obstacles to personal growth. Characters decode the complexity of life, strengthening our ability to be courageous enough to challenge secret struggles and inner conflict. Exquisite poetry offers skills to cope with division caused by family estrangement, encouraging the reader to unabashedly reframe choices that interfere with relationship success. Healing the Great Divide inspires inner balance and heartfelt happiness – in particular, to those whose self-esteem has been negatively impacted by childhood trauma. Essays empower us to dissolve shame and boldly engage in gentle self-reflection. Short stories nurture confidence to unearth differences between self-care and self-sabotage. Pages of poetry create a safe space to assess the destructive nature of self-absorption, emotional unavailability, bitterness, and entitlement. The reader learns how to dissolve that which distracts from personal satisfaction, gratitude, harmony, and love. Negativity in its many forms is exposed. The author offers interventions to neutralize that which interferes with effective communication. Characters journey fearlessly in their pursuit of inner peace and joy. Each page helps the reader build personal confidence to heal internal wounds. Short stories and poetry insightfully illuminate time's perpetual debate between misery and joy. Validation resuscitates the reader’s ability to fulfill unique potential. Spiritual growth is palpable. As honest self-reflection is mastered, we begin to own our right to set safe, healthy boundaries. Intertwined throughout the pages of this book are awakenings capable of repairing a soul that suffers in silence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665563253

N.E.C. Iankowitz

N.E.C. Iankowitz is a board certified advanced practice nurse, Adjunct Assistant Professor of Nursing at Mount Saint Mary College in Newburgh, NY., and former research coordinator of the Longevity Genes Project at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine. She graduated with a B.A in Psychology from Pace (1981) and with an M.S. from the Lienhard School of Nursing (1983). She teaches physical assessment to nursing students at Mount Saint Mary College, is a Second Degree Reiki practitioner, holistic/ integrative health & stress management consultant, the author of two books, (Marcy and Her Friends and Tales of The Soil) and offers workshops on a variety of topics. She is happily married with two daughters in college.

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© 2022 N.E.C. Iankowitz. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

AuthorHouse™

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Cover Artist: Eitan Iankowitz

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6326-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-6325-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022911564

Published by AuthorHouse 07/05/2022

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Other Books by This Author

Marcy and Her Friends

Conversations with Our Daughters

Tales of The Soil

Shadows of The Soul

Other Articles & Essays

by This Author

Feeding Positive Energy Throughout the COVID-19 Holiday Season

Hunkering Down During COVID-19

The Stress and Strain of COVID-19 on Relationships

Parenthood: a Continuing Journey

Finding Your Joy

The Mind, Body, and Spirit Approach to Self-Care

The Deep Dive for Love

Second Childhood - The Intangible Spirit

How Your Hobby May Heal You

Holiday Health and Wellness

Relationship Gone Sour: Parents and Adult Children (Getting Back on Track)

Building Lasting Relationships

Protecting Our Children from Our Anxiety

Congestive Heart Failure: A Functional Medicine Approach

Lifestyle Tools That Become Lifelong Lifesaving Gifts

Caring For Aging Parents

Refilling the Empty Nest with Dignity and Grace

When the Foods You Love Don’t Love You Back

You Are Probably Dehydrated If . . .

Safety in the Summer Sun

Dedication

With heartfelt gratitude for investment of time, energy, editorial comments, support,

and so much more, I dedicate this book to . . .

Eitan, for your original artwork, personal fortitude, and inspiration – all of which made this collection possible. Our journey continues; Mom and Dad, for decades of spiritual guidance – you have always been and continue to be present and encouraging; Jess, for your mentorship, friendship, strength of character, and perspective. I would be lost without you.

Foreword

This book, unlike most literary works, is best read not from cover-to-cover; but rather, by initially reviewing the ‘Table of Contents’ to see what calls out to you. Among the myriad thoughts presented, go first to that which speaks to you in that moment, as that is the initial piece for which your spirit is ready. If you allow it, this book will speak truth to your soul. If you’re a skimmer or headline reader, I suggest you begin with the poster section at the end.

This is a journey of healing; powerful, penetrating, poignant and wonderful. Long needed and now available, this is a book of therapeutic insights and poetry for the ages – a companion on any therapist’s desk.

A Note about The Reader’s Guide at the end . . . to my therapist colleagues, it offers various sections grouped for particular therapy goals. For couples struggling with emotional unavailability, it serves as a therapeutic guide; to the Researcher/Therapist, it deals with the human condition.

~ Dr. Daniel Cohen, APA life member, Fellow RSMH (Eng.), Director Emeritus N.Y. Testing and Guidance Center (1962-1990)

Preface

Among the tasks assigned to this collection, Healing the Great Divide is intended to provide inspiration to each reader. With original works never before published, as well as a few selections from Tales of The Soil, Shadows of The Soul, and Illusion: Redefined, this book is offered with sincere hope that it brings comfort, validation, peace of mind, and centeredness of spirit. Connection with inner truth cleanses the soul. When positive energy flows, joy charges our essence. Potential is fulfilled when happiness is victorious over misery during internal battles. When we live our truth, we choose love over isolation, and see the world through the lens of acceptance, compassion, and gratitude. Please check the self-help guide at the end, particularly for tools to heal relationships impacted by adults who survived childhood trauma.

Thank you for your time and interest. My most fervent prayer is that you, and all lives you touch, experience and pay forward healing as a result of one or more selections within this book.

                                                         Namaste,

N.E.C. Iankowitz DNP, RN, FNP-BC

                                                         ANCC Board Certified Family Nurse Practitioner

                                                         Holistic and Integrative Healing LLC, Director

Contents

Perspective

You’ve Arrived . . .

Taming The Horned Viper Within

Gifts of the Soul

Don’t & Do

Leaving Toyland Behind

New Love

Battle for Your Soul

Beware the Enabler

Fury In My Gaze

Absent

Starting Over

Just Fix It

Finding Your Joy

The Way

Acceptance?

Unclenching

Unfolding

Spirit Speak

Newlyweds, Again

Glimpses Through the Tapestry

Journey

Forever

Longing

Date Night in The Blend

A Magical ‘Patch of Woods’

Angel Song (Part 1)

Angel Song (Part 2)

Today

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Mother’s Day

On a Child’s Passing

Father and Son

Over, Around, or Through

RepairingRelationships

Sailing Through Time

On Love

Growing Together

When It’s for Love

Finally, Me

Reawakening

The Lens

Magic Reclaimed

Reinventing Our Life

Counseled by The Universe

The Path

Crystal Vase

Second Time Around

Balance

Recipe for Communication

Onward Together

Used / Abused

How to See

Conflict Resolution – Achieved or Missed?

A Mother’s Prayer

Always Successful

The Elephants In Your Head

Treasure Vibrations

Paths We Take –What We Forsake

Changing Seasons

Questions

Introspection

Centering of Spirit

Flying From the Nest

Reaching Through the Clouds

Now We Can Begin

Free to Be Me

Dissolving Illusions

Secrets Unearthed

Surviving a Toxic Childhood

Living With a Survivor of Childhood Trauma

Twisted

Brainwashed

The Dark Room

The Beauty Salon

Speak Your Truth

Humiliation

The Carpenter

Father’s Shame

Wooden Nickel

Rage Mountain

Looking Back

Recall & Repair

Clear Eyed

All Families Are Made Up of Complex Personalities

Our Journey Back to Us

This Is Now

Becoming

Wisdom From the Pond & Creatures Beyond

Beyond the Hatching

Destiny

Of The Meadow

I Am Enough

Each Has a Place in The Meadow

Tadpole and Fish

Earthworm and Caterpillar

Butterfly and Honey Bee

Ori

Feeling You’re Still Here

Spiral of Time

Posters

General Topics – Readers’ Overview

Childhood Trauma – Impact on Adult Life

The Author’s Retrospective

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You’ve Arrived . . .

When the days you wonder if you should get out of bed

are met by you with courage, and you face the world instead . . .

When distracting strands of toxic thoughts invade your mind,

but you take charge, collect yourself, and discipline you find . . .

When events that threaten joy can’t overtake your mood . . .

When you keep perspective though you’re blamed by those who brood . . .

When you hold yourself to standards higher than the rest;

regardless of who’s watching, you still do your very best . . .

When the words of strangers who spew hatred don’t offend . . .

When you trust your instincts to unmask those who pretend . . .

When you choose to live your truth, with both eyes open wide . . .

When you can be your best friend without a need to hide . . .

When you can be generous, yet keep some for yourself . . .

When you give and know when to put ‘giving’ on the shelf . . .

When your guide is honesty; you look you in the eye . . .

When you have the valor to dissolve each self-taught lie . . .

When you disagree with someone who’s dear to your heart,

then you self-reflect whether together or apart . . .

When you pay each blessing forward and don’t advertise . . .

When you listen deeply and don’t gossip or advise . . .

When you know your value yet stay caring, kind, and humble . . .

When your hand, extended, lifts another who may stumble . . .

When your heart is open chakra, thoughtful, honest, fair . . .

When you’re cautious – just enough, yet strong enough to dare . . .

When you can be ‘present’ even when you walk away . . .

When you have the courage to trust ‘vibes’ through what ‘they say’. . .

When you’re not ‘entitled’ but still know what you deserve,

and temper your emotions clinging to that last raw nerve . . .

When you realize you broke the heart of one you love

and make it your priority: repair; both rise above . . .

When you recognize your tendency to self-abuse –

then toss out noxious patterns you no longer need to use . . .

When you view the ones who traumatized your years of youth

with deep heartfelt compassion, you fulfill your highest truth.

When you free yourself from hate and anger, you forgive –

and use that healthy energy to recraft your soul’s sieve,

to filter out the negative; just keep what heals your soul . . .

When repairs are done, mind/body/spirit will be whole.

When you ask yourself, why did I? and do not pretend

with self-avoidance, using tools you’ve crafted to defend . . .

When discovered, redefine the goals fed just by ‘should’

as chanted by the bullies from your tortured childhood.

When you can take hold of ‘now’ ignoring what has passed,

you begin your healthy life with strength to make it last.

When you can accept nobody’s ‘perfect’ and can say:

I have much to learn, you’ve reached that rare and centered day.

When safe healthy boundaries keep out those who cut you down,

deflecting from themselves at your expense – wisdom you’ve found.

When you know you ‘need’ and yet you’re brave enough to give,

you will taste the Universe; life will be yours to live.

When those days of confidence that fill you with deep pride

are days you can embrace the awesome feeling deep inside

without a need to post the news to strangers –

you’ve arrived.

Taming The Horned Viper Within

Some arrive to earth with viper tendencies, you know.

Love that’s unconditional in childhood helps us grow.

Positive vibrations, gentle words, and empathy

are three essential tools that teach responsibility.

Ownership of all we do that’s right as well as wrong

sets a firm foundation to be honest, sure, and strong.

Confidence as inner dialogue will set the stage

for thoughts like: I can do this – life’s companions as we age.

Recognizing how to calm our Spirit with reflection

happens only when we trust; true self needs no protection.

Parenting deficient in examples that convey

how to find our passion, nourish joy, and greet each day

with centered, peaceful energy that’s born of tasting truth,

condemns adults to misery . . . all stemming from their youth.

Adulthood met with ‘lacking’ in essential tools to be

courageous, honest, empathetic, trusting, joyful, free . . .

forces one to face the challenge each and everyday

to self-craft healing inner speech that mends as it conveys:

I deserve to free myself from burdens of my past.

Now embrace with courage heartfelt wisdom – at long last.

Seek out mentors who can help you write your Spirit song.

It helps you believe in love – and then, before too long,

as you learn to self-reflect and keep eyes open wide,

you will free your heart to share the love you have inside.

Gifts of the Soul

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Don’t & Do

Don’t hide from fear, shame, or guilt; they’re tools to make you strong.

Meant to feel for moments; if you feel one for too long,

it becomes an enemy – distracting from the truth.

How to use these tools – ideally mastered in your youth.

They’re intended to teach how to nourish love inside.

They inoculate to stimulate: swallow your pride.

Lessons: don’t neglect your loved ones; argue, but don’t fight.

Win/win never win/lose; share; let empathy unite.

When stressed don’t ‘defend’ – instead: reveal fear, shame, and guilt.

That’s the secret upon which relationships are built.

Don’t blame others when they bleed on you from cuts you’ve made.

Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself when you’ve been played.

Don’t reject the love because of grief that you may feel.

Love makes life worth living – don’t permit your fear to steal

what enriches life for you; a closed heart just exists.

Don’t choose ‘self-protection’ over love; in strength: resist.

Do invite the energy of harmony and love.

Do feed all that brings life joy . . . plant seeds; bare hands – no gloves.

Do touch earth and feel her warmth as sunshine offers gifts.

Do build bridges. Heal the wounds. Fill gaps to ease the rifts.

Do hug trees and smell the flowers. Watch the butterflies.

Love and time: pure truths – they’re simple; honest; no disguise.

Do lift up your head and recognize your spirit song;

it calls through imagination – gentle yet so strong.

When you find your truth, your soul feels settled; centered; full.

Do rise up as you have great potential to fulfill.

Leaving Toyland Behind

In adolescence and early adulthood, most bang their heads through bumpy relationships filled with self-defensive postures, hurt feelings, and confusion.

As we mature, competition with others is replaced by competition within the self – to be our own best version each new day. Envy of others is replaced by joy for their success, and discovery of worthy mentors so we, too, might contribute positive energy to the world around us – unblocked by the cloud of distraction. Win/lose arguments are replaced by win/win scenarios where both celebrate victory at establishment of common ground. Communication becomes mutual rather than combative. Explanations are offered to ease tensions of the other person rather than to defend ourselves or deflect from