Ashley’s Journey: From Sweet Innocence to a Life of Drugs and Despair and How God Turned It All Around

By Cynthia Call

Ashley can steal your heart with her smile. Growing up, she had a spunky sense of humor and made friends easily. But something changed. Secluded in a life of drugs, lies and manipulation, Ashley became someone that nobody recognized. Her actions shocked her family and came close to taking her life. Completely reliant upon God’s mercy and her faith, Ashley’s mother plunged in head first to save her dying daughter. Follow this family as God tenderly sets Ashley back on a path of hope and trust in the One who makes all things possible.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: May 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9781489728630

Cynthia Call

Cindy has loved the art of writing since she was a young girl and eagerly searched for an opportunity to express her words in a book. When her youngest daughter became involved in the dark world of drugs, she documented the journey. Little did she realize that she was filling the pages of a memoir that would tell a story that she could hardly believe herself.

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Copyright © 2022 Cynthia Call.

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Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2862-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2861-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2863-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022907748

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 05/16/2022

Contents

Introduction

Part 1: The Journal

A Little Background

Rehab Number 1

Part 2: The Journal

Rehab Number 2

An Update

Rehab Number 3

Rehab Number 4

A Promising Future

Update

A Note from Ashley

Final Thoughts

To my wonderful family, who joined me in my prayers to save Ashley

To all who suffer with drug addiction

My prayer is that you will seek the person God made you to be

and acknowledge how fearfully and wonderfully you are made!

You are loved.

This book is a journal of Ashley’s intense struggle, personal heartaches, and—finally—joys that led her on the path to see God’s passionate and powerful involvement in her life.

As her mother, I was so driven and determined to save my daughter that I came close to losing my own grip on life in the process.

The story is true, and the words are written from the deepest part of my heart.

Most of all, this story is solid proof that God hears us when we cry, that He feels our pain and captures every teardrop. He draws us close to whisper in our ears, to speak softly into our hearts, and to tell us that He loves us more than we can ever imagine.

This story is God’s awesome work in the life of one of His children.

This is my command—be strong and courageous!

Do not be afraid or discouraged.

For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

—Daniel 1:9

Introduction

I didn’t originally set out to publish this private journal about my daughter. In fact, at the beginning of Ashley’s drug abuse, I was embarrassed and didn’t want anyone to know what was happening in my family. But as I began to record the many moments of God’s faithfulness and mercy, I wanted to give Him all the glory, and I didn’t want to do that alone.

Ashley has always been spunky and charming, with a sweet and loving personality that could melt anyone’s heart. She was born in 1988, brought into the world when her siblings were eight and ten years old, and she was spoiled more than anyone. When Ashley’s siblings, Daryl and Danielle, moved away from home for work and college, I was divorced, so I was on my own with their young sister. Ashley and I did everything together.

Our family was close; we shared a special bond. I raised my family to know the love of God and to be grateful for their blessings. I was so proud of my children and felt that I was doing a decent job as a mother. Little did I realize that I was paving a way for Ashley to be so spoiled that life meant little to her unless it could provide a personal benefit. If that meant using others to get what she wanted, then that’s what she did.

I began this journal when Ashley was twenty-seven years old, but the start of her problems began about twelve years earlier. She was caught shoplifting multiple times, was defiant against my rules at home, and had been in a relationship where there was physical and emotional abuse and two aborted pregnancies. This started a string of events that made me wonder who Ashley was and what had happened to my innocent, sweet daughter.

Every day, I could see the Lord’s presence in both my sadness and my joy. I finally realized that Ashley was never alone. Unfortunately, during the times of her drug abuse, I didn’t completely let go and let God. You’ll see that I sometimes tried to guide her movements through manipulation and control. And perhaps a little guilt. After all, how was she going to find her purpose in life if I wasn’t there as her coach? Part of me truly believed this. I didn’t think she was capable of pulling herself out of this mess, so someone needed to stand in her corner and help her see her way out. I was so driven to do this that it became a large part of my daily focus. What I didn’t know then was that an addict has to be the one to make the decision to get clean and free from drugs. That was a hard lesson for me. I’m a fix-it person.

To say that this book was written during moments of total despair is an understatement. I knew nothing about drugs. I had never been around drugs, nor had anyone close to me been addicted to them. Yet my youngest child—so delightful, yet strong-willed and determined—entered a horrific world of drugs that nearly destroyed her life.

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you could see the future? Would you want to escape the times of pain and heartache, or would you be determined to face them head-on and allow life lessons to teach you? It’s an unsettling question, really—and I’m glad that I don’t have to know the answer to it. What I know for certain is that God is there, not just for the first few stages of our lives but for the entire journey. Truly, I muddled my way through those years with Ashley, having my eyes half open, my heart totally broken, and my mind so altered that I questioned my sanity on more than one occasion.

This book is about my daughter’s journey through many years of horrific drug abuse; within it are emotions of fear, anger, and frustration. But looking back, there was unmistakable evidence of God’s precious love and mercy. He showed Himself to be the only stable and grounding force amid the pain and heartache. I know without a doubt that Ashley would not be alive today if not for the love of a merciful God who clearly heard our tearful prayers and cries for help.

Please read this book with an open and submissive heart. I pray it brings you hope. I pray you find restoration and healing amid the pain. I pray, above all else, that you allow God to gently and purposefully touch your heart and answer your prayers in the most amazing way possible. You won’t regret it—I promise.

Maybe you have experienced God’s answered prayer. How wonderful when you realize that the God of the universe has heard you! For me, it was sometimes difficult to remember that God’s timing is always perfect. I wanted the answer to come quickly; I wanted to visually see evidence of His hand at work in Ashley’s life. I needed Him to save my precious daughter from the horrific grip that drugs had on her.

The Lord answered perfectly and in His own way.

The only way.

The events in this journal are proof of that.

The Journal

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PART 1

May 16, 2015

Tonight, I worked a twelve-hour night shift as a manager in an IT operations department. It was a busy night with a lot going on. My phone rang, and I quickly answered it when I saw that Ashley was calling. I never knew what to expect when she called me. Sometimes it was to say hello, but most of the time, it was to ask for money or to tell me that she was stranded somewhere and needed help.

As I said hello and she began to speak, I heard a voice I hardly recognized. Her words were slurred, and she sounded weak. She finally communicated that she had multiple abscesses on her upper hip that were causing her so much pain that she was using crutches to walk. She said she had chills and a fever of 102 degrees. My mind swirled with thoughts of how to get her help. What do I do? I know this is bad.

Frantic, I begged her to go to the emergency room, but she said that she wanted to wait until it wasn’t so busy. She couldn’t stand the pain of sitting very long. I told her that I could call an ambulance so she could get medical attention right away. She didn’t like that idea. I told her that I would come and pick her up. She refused. I could hardly function at work because I knew the seriousness of her situation. She promised to go to the ER, just not yet. I called her every half hour, which was stressful and made it hard for me to concentrate on my job. My work team was so supportive and understanding.

May 17, 2015

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Ashley finally went to the hospital emergency room, taken there by Jeff, a close friend. The doctors wanted to do surgery right away; they said the area on her upper hip was severely infected with sepsis from MRSA—a critical and life-threatening condition.

My heart was beating fast. I couldn’t stop the feelings of anxiety.

May 17, 2015

I arrived at the hospital room where Ashley had been admitted before her surgery. I tried to comfort her. She looked awful. Her face was pale and looked sticky. Her body was hot to touch. Her hospital gown was completely soaked in perspiration. She was showing some signs of