Riding the Pain: A Selection of Actors Monologues

By Zen

Riding The Pain, is a collection of monologues, which explore, define and thought provoke the reader into questioning their stance on the subject matter.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 25, 2022
• ISBN: 9781665598767

Book preview

MY SEED

The unspoken truth, the undeniable Facts, the suppressed emotions that come with twisted loss and isolated grief. Unrequited Desires whisper gently in my subconscious Mind, forcing me to accept my Understanding of this Pain. I have never met anyone like her, she strangles me with the rope of

Guilt?

Embarrassment?

Confusion?

Then Seduces me with the promises of tomorrow.

I’m looking at this Beautiful Black Woman, I whisper in her ear that all I want to do is Show her off. My intentions where Clouded. I was running from the fearful trauma of my past, only to find myself locked and loaded into a dynamic of possibly being tied to this Woman for the rest of My Life, we played House, I made love to her as my mouth spoke unfulfilled wishes that gently landed on her forehead. Could she be the one?

Our River was flowing until She caused me to drown in her sadness. Our River was never meant to stop flowing, just like the concept of Truth. Her alluring narration keeps on going, but I started to realise that forcing her to go beyond the Truth leads to her exposure.

I willingly believed her, secretly wanted to believe her, that what I felt, the illusion that we both created had the strength to survive outside of the bedroom walls.

Her lies, her deception, all played a part in the loss. The sense of walking in the unknown, She under estimated me, she had no idea I thrive in the dark, and I always come back to the light,

She stole and captured my belief in her. Expecting My Seed to bless this Earth, she betrayed the vision, she lied to the purpose, She Robbed me of The Truth.

My Truth is She crucified My Chance.

OUR FLOW

Choices, every action has a reaction?

Being with you became as easy as breathing, laughing with you surrounded me in comfort. Then we played games, we lashed out, we fought our inna passion, knowing that this situation was never going to have the required Happy Ending. Both of us running from reality and found comfort in each other.

Regret holds me hostage daily. We move in synch, whilst like two magnets at times repelling each other.

Unsure of what this situation really is, all I know is I have to be honest with myself. Be truthful to the character I am, uphold my morals and walk through my life paths with my moral conscience intact.

The person I wish to now be. Holds no qualms or malice with anyone. The arguing, the shouting, the back and forth it no longer serves my purpose.

To flee what is difficult, seems to be an easy option, I’ve come to my own conclusion that I do not have to ask of him to let me go, but it’s me who has to let him go, as it’s the right thing to do. Mere obligation and common sense makes it known to me that I deserve more.

Our flow. Our desire for one another will always have its own special meaning. I just know I can no longer sacrifice My self worth, my dignity, my love, my focus on an individual who does not allow me the freedom