My Puppet Master

By Olivia Brighten

This is a series of poems about my addiction to drugs, particularly heroin, crack cocaine, and alcohol. It is a long and tumultuous love affair, starting when we first met to the final breakupmy last and current stint in rehab. There are relapses and reunions, passion, and utter pain. It is a raw and poetic way of portraying to the public the inner battle we suffer as addicts. I want the reader to be able to equate love and lust to the struggle of addiction. At the end is my very true and personal story of my battle with drugs and alcohol.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 26, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984536389

Book preview

My Puppet Master

Olivia Brighten

Copyright © 2018 by Olivia Brighten.

Library of Congress Control Number:             2018907303

ISBN:                      Hardcover                        978-1-9845-3640-2

                                Softcover                         978-1-9845-3639-6

                                eBook                              978-1-9845-3638-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 06/20/2018

Xlibris

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Contents

Special Thanks

Introduction

You Had Me at Hello

Magnetism

Hard

Getting to Know All About You

Deep

The Honeymoon Phase

Feel

Everything

My Essence

Obsession and Compulsion

Consuming Me

Our First Fight

Desperation

Hard Goodbye

Trying Not to Look Back

Friends with Benefits

Never Enough

My Devil in Disguise

Pathetic

Where Are You, Liz?

Six Feet Under

Insidious

Wicked Game

Makeup Sex

Inside Me

Push and Pull

Question Mark?

My Greatest Downfall

Insanity

Derailed

Fuck You

Freedom to Fly

Flying Far Away

My Higher Power (God)

Forgiveness, Despite …

Rediscovery

Behind the Facade

Beautiful Disaster

Roots

Fade

Dimmer

Grateful

A Gratitude List

Forgiving Myself

Sorry

Strength

Strength Is

The Steps Away from You

The Staircase

Weakness

Vice Versa

Misery

Games

Behind Me

You’re Not There

A New Day

A New Season

The Strings Are Gone

Alone and Free

Epilogue

SPECIAL THANKS

I THANK GOD for everything. Also, thanks to my dad for always being there and believing in me and to my mom for always being there for me and the kids. I thank my kids—Sydney, Nathan, and Chloe Hammonds—for always believing in me and loving me. To my grandma Christine Burgoyne, thank you for believing in me all these years and for never giving up on me. Thanks to my sister for not judging me in times of trouble. I also want to thank my clinician at Sojourners, Janice, for inspiring me to start writing this. She convinced me that my writing ability is special and that I should act on it. Also, the ladies at Sojourners inspired me to publish