6 Fail-proof Secrets To Lasting Marriage

By Smeichel Jason

If you’re like most of us, you and your partner have been going along having a regular day and then suddenly, you find yourself in a disagreement. You have no idea how you got there. And, even more problematic, you have no idea how to get out.

Then, you innocently add insult to injury. You each engage in a futile effort to tell each other what the other one said. At this point, your “disagreement” begins to escalate into an argument or, worse, a full-into attack, defense, and counterattack. Round and round it goes, damaging your relationship, until one of you gives up, exhausted and frustrated.

The truth is that you weren’t speaking the same language. Yes, you were using the same words, but they didn’t mean the same thing. While words might have a generally accepted meaning, each one of you brings your own interpretation to them. Sort of like having a regional accent.

This is a book that will help learn, how, when and where to pinpoint and act on to lead a lasting marriage.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jason Smeichel
• Release date: Apr 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9787300469522

Book preview

STICK ON

But a large percentage of those who don't divorce and work on it are happy later.

The third choice is to leave it, and there's a large percentage who divorce again after being divorced once, so it's not exactly a solution.

Some of the implications of leaving is that, well, it's cheaper to keep her right.

There's missed opportunities for personal growth, and you still have similar issues in the next marriage, like I just mentioned.

So, it is not always the best option, though.

I will also say there are worse things than divorce, of course.

In three choices, we're staying because you are here now and because you care about your marriage,

I assume that your hope is to stay.

So there are three choices for staying, according to David A..

He says there's this submit and dominate relationship.

So, this is where you have a half a person, the submitter who just does whatever the dominator wants to the dominator who is like one and a half people's worth.

There is the withdraw pursue relationship where one runs and one chases after them pursuing them.

I call this the half to half relationship because they're really not themselves.

And then the third choice is differentiate.

This is where two whole people come together.

Where do you think your marriage falls in these three relationship styles?

Submit dominate the first, second, withdraw, pursue or three differentiate, and we will be talking about differentiating more so you can understand that better.

What is your hunch?

Say?

Well, we will talk more about all of this, and so I'm excited to get going in our first session, which will be I choose God first.

So, I'll see you then.

CHOOSE GOD FIRST

Section one, I choose God first.

So, this is our first choice - choosing God.

Choosing each other requires choosing God first.

These two great commandments are Thou shalt love the Lord, that God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my mind.

This is the first and great commandment, and the second is like unto it Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

This is in Matthew Chapter 22.

And for our intents and purposes today, our neighbor is our spouse.

So, loving your neighbor as your loving, your spouse, as yourself is meaning to the same degree and as is while you are doing it for yourself.

So, in those scenarios that I gave in the introduction about the three choices, if you are submitting and withdrawing and dominating and that kind of thing, you are not doing it to the same degree or while you're doing it to yourself.

And that's what I'd like to talk about.

So, if you love your spouse much more than yourself, it's going to look like this was this bigger heart.

The spouse has the domination in your marriage.

If you love yourself more, then your spouse is going to be this little heart and not getting as much attention if you.

Come together as a complement to each other.

This is you and me, then this is loving your spouse as yourself.

So, neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man in the Lord.

Right?

I read that in First Corinthians.

So, this is what this looks like when we come together and we are equal, then we love our spouse as our self or others.

However, you might want to look at it.

So then when we add God, then he we love him first and we love him most.

We come to this sweet spot where the Purple Heart is, and this is where the love zone balance is, is right here, where this Purple Heart is, where God is first and you’re loving your spouse as yourself.

So, the most resilient marriages hold God as foundational to their marital success.

So, when I choose you?

God sanctified sanctify sanctifies it.

When God no longer sanctifies it, you not no longer choose each other.

And this is when divorce happens, right?

And there are worse things than divorce.

So, I'm not saying that you should never consider divorce.

INCLUDE GOD

So, including God and incorporating is incorporating a system of checks and balances as long as it balances, no matter the stumbling blocks and troubles.

He'll help you make it work.

I like to think of God like a trapeze artist.

I cringed as I watched the ten o'clock news story of a trapeze act.

Mary and Tyson duo transcend on America's Got Talent.

The guy dropped his wife from maybe 20 feet high.

Their hands fumbled among a puff of white powder as he'd grab for her, and down she went.

She stood a little shaken,