Losing My Identity

By Maggie Matthews

Losing My Identity is a moving and impactful story of a mother and her two children showing courage, strength and determination. Surviving a Domestic Violence situation of abuse and violence towards the mother and her son. 

From having the perfect

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookTrail Publishing
• Release date: Mar 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637677995

Book preview

Copyright © 2022 Maggie Matthews

Paperback: 978-1-63767-798-8

eBook: 978-1-63767-799-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022904528

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Ordering Information:

BookTrail Agency

8838 Sleepy Hollow Rd.

Kansas City, MO 64114

Printed in the United States of America

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my children who I love very much and am so proud of.

Contents

Chapter 1:   The Perfect Family

Chapter 2:   The Beginning of the End

Chapter 3:   The Separation

Chapter 4:   One Year Later

Chapter 5:   Being Held Hostage

Chapter 6:   Being Escorted Through the Night

Chapter 7:   Refuge No1

Chapter 8:   Refuge No2

Chapter 9:   No Going Back

Chapter 10: New Beginnings

CHAPTER 1

The Perfect Family

On the outside, we were the perfect family. We had everything any family could wish for. Two beautiful children and a life to die for!

Maggie and Lewis Matthews, and our two children, Luke age thirteen and Lucy age eight.

We managed our own successful roofing business, lived in a brand new house in the country in a quiet and beautiful location, our dream home. We also owned two properties abroad. We both drove new cars, and our children never wanted for anything. Our life was good. We were all happy, healthy and wealthy.

At the time, Lewis was working on a number of different contracts and would employ people to work under him with each new project, as our business was expanding and grew with new clients.

What more could our family possibly want? Like I said, from the outside we had everything, and people used to say how lucky I was to live in such a beautiful home and be part of such a beautiful family.

It was the perfect life, lived by the perfect family. Lewis worked very hard putting in long hours into the business, sometimes working six days a week, and always available at the end of a phone.

Meanwhile, I would manage the administration side of the business, booking in appointments and new contracts.

Sometimes Lewis would work away on new developments as well as keeping an eye on the projects local to us.

I would try to manage them as much as I could while still doing the administration side, looking after the children and running the home.

When Lewis was at home he always made time for Lucy and Luke, as family time was premium. We played golf, went camping. We especially loved our holidays abroad, which we took at least twice a year, one in the winter, and one in the summer. Had weekends away in a caravan, depending on the work schedule. We worked hard and we played hard.

Eventually success and hard work began to take its toll on Lewis’s health, he became exhausted and stressed. I suggested he took on more employees to work with him and support him, but he always claimed to enjoy the buzz of business and living on the edge, being in complete control. Not trusting anyone enough to manage the business, while he had some time out.

He wouldn’t trust anyone with the business he had worked so hard for. He would maintain the reputation he had built up over time so successfully.

His business was his pride and joy which he built from scratch with hard work, perseverance and endurance.

Lewis would come home exhausted, with flu like symptoms saying his whole body ached from head to toe.

He started to suffer from tension headaches and feeling mentally low.

He eventually and begrudgingly went to the doctor’s and was advised to rest due to exhaustion.

The doctor thought Lewis was burnt out on every level, both mentally and physically. He needed to get away to have a break from working around the clock.

His body was telling him to slow down, but he wouldn’t listen. Lewis took just one weekend to rest and went back to work on the Monday like nothing had happened, despite still not feeling himself.

I noticed the change in him ,the stress was taking its toll on him, and very soon that it began to affect our family life.

Lewis became more irritable, angry, and short tempered.

He had no tolerance or patience with our children and would lose his temper at the slightest thing.

His mood swings were becoming more obvious and more frequent.

His body language told me he was constantly tired and tense.

His behavior was not normal, and I suggested he went back to the doctors. He said they were a waste of time and he was too busy. Lewis was becoming depressed on every level but would not except help from me or anyone else.

Behind closed doors, our home was once a happy and loving place to be but became a very different place from the haven that everyone imagined.

It was sometimes a place of fear and uncertainty, we were constantly walking on eggshells. Not knowing what mood he was in and always trying to keep the peace and the children quiet as he was always so stressed. It was like he had the whole world on his shoulders and no one to share it with. But that wasn’t the case, he had a good family and friends for support. Lewis would not listen and kept saying he was ok.

Lewis could not see the impact it was having on the children and me. I hoped and prayed he would come to his senses.

Lewis still held onto the image of the perfect family and perfect marriage and would pretend that nothing was wrong whenever we saw or spoke to anyone else.

We were a young family with everything going for us and an amazing future. Our children were involved in many activities and never went without. Luke and Lucy had the latest games, clothes, mobile phones and sports equipment.

It seemed too good to be true, because it was. The atmosphere could be cut like a knife.

Lewis’s sleeping pattern started to change, he was restless, and he had trouble sleeping. He would be awake most of the night and was constantly checking his phone, he could not switch off and relax.

He was working even longer hours and coming home later, blaming it on work and meetings.

His mood swings were becoming darker and more noticeable. He was constantly angry and irritable.

Nothing seemed good enough anymore and he was criticising everything we did.

He was always making excuses to go out and meet people.

He stopped having family meals with us and said