How in the Hell Did I Get Here?: Forever Changing the Genetic Blueprint

By Shannan Mondor

A riveting and raw story of how one woman overcame alcoholism and mental illness and broke free from the genetic blueprint of addiction that demonized her family for generations. She sets you in a frontrow seat as she shares her life story and experiences, which show the strength, determination and courage of how she no longer wanted to continue with this way of life, and how she would do whatever it took to protect her children from being exposed to a life of addiction that is so normalized and influenced within society. She teaches them about addiction and the consequences of speaking her truth. She fights past fear, loneliness and judgement to end her inner pain that has haunted her for years, and finds inner peace. Along her path she realizes how life is a spiritual journey and there is a lesson to be learned with every experience, personal encounter and relationship. Most importantly, the lesson is how you have a relationship with yourself, that you have the power to change everything, and it all comes from within.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Mar 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9780228871248

Shannan Mondor

As early as her 20s, Shannan Mondor was introduced to self-help books and motivational speakers, such as Louise Hay, Esther and Jerry Hicks/Abraham, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra, just to name a few. Through these authors' work, Shannan was forever changed and viewed the world completely differently, which also strengthened her spirituality. The more Shannan grew in her spirituality, the more she was guided to start pursuing healing energy modalities, and she completed the Yuen Energetic Healing level 1 and 2 in 2009, and Reiki level 1 in 2012. Shannan was honoured to participate in water drilling and water-well-repair mission trips to Guatemala and Honduras in the fall of 2013 and 2014. Shannan witnessed poverty and desperation, yet love and happiness in it simplest form of life. These experiences only deepened her faith in God and strengthened her belief in the spirit realm. To assist her in bringing balance, peace and tranquility to her life, she incorporated yoga into her lifestyle regimen and became a certified yoga instructor and a member of the Yoga Alliance in 2019. As fate would have it, Shannan was introduced to celebrity psychic Deborah Graham in spring 2019. Right from the beginning there was a connection between the two women. Mrs. Graham has since become her mentor, teacher, spiritual coach and, most of all, friend. Through the hard work that Shannan completed, Psychic Deborah Graham helped her to heal, alleviated her fears and blockages, raised Shannan's vibration, and has unlocked her intuitive and psychic abilities. From the knowledge Shannan has gained through her own life experiences, she pursed her certification for professional life coaching in 2020. Shannan was born and raised in rural Southeast Saskatchewan and currently resides in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada, where she is happily raising her four beautiful children with her husband. She is living her lifelong dream of helping others to heal by speaking her truth, blogging on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube, spreading her positivity and speaking openly on how she overcame addiction and mental illness.

Book preview

How in the Hell Did I Get Here?

Forever Changing the Genetic Blueprint

Shannan Mondor

How in the Hell Did I Get Here?

Copyright © 2022 by Shannan Mondor

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-7123-1 (Hardcover)

978-0-2288-7122-4 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-7124-8 (eBook)

I dedicate this book to my husband and my children.

I want to thank my husband for helping to bring every emotion possible out of me so I was able to recognize and begin my path to healing. Without you walking this journey alongside me, loving and supporting me, it would not have been possible.

To my beautiful children, you were my reason to be a better mother, mentor and the best person I could possibly be.

There is not a day that will pass that I could ever show or express the amount of love that I have for each of you. You are my reason for living.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Part 1: My Story

The Genetic Blueprint

At My Brother’s Mercy

Running Only Delays the Inevitable

Past Meets Present

You Are Not Forgotten; You Will Always Be Mine

Work-Life Balance

Patrick

Family Ties

Marriage Bells

Moving On Up!

Enough Is Enough

Treatment

Road to Recovery—or Resentment?

Part 2: Learning to Love Myself

The Answers Are All Within

Let the Truth Be Told

Self-Worth Begins with Awareness

Eating

Exercise

Perfectionism Is Not My Friend

Saying Goodbyes

Thank You For Doing Me Wrong!

Being Stuck in Your Story

Abusing Our Body

Triggers

Own Your Shit!

Don’t Do Me Any Favours

Gratitude

Forgiveness

It’s All or Nothing!

Afterword

Introduction

Are you at a time in your life when you’ve finally acknowledged that you are an alcoholic or are suffering from some sort of addiction? Perhaps you know someone who has been affected by addiction and you’re seeking information to make sense of this dreaded curse that has affected your life and the lives of so many others.

The reason I use the word curse is because many of us don’t realize that addiction didn’t start with just you, it is a hereditary disease that waits in the shadows, ready to pounce. Yes, you heard correctly—it is a hereditary disease. It is no different than having a history of diabetes or breast cancer in one’s family, and, unfortunately, something is triggered within to set the addiction in motion. Triggers may be a traumatic event such as the death of a loved one, sexual abuse, divorce … the list goes on and on.

Everyone on this planet has a story to tell, but it is how we cope with the things life throws at us that can set these horrible diseases in motion. Factors that often go hand in hand with addiction, including anxiety, depression, shame, fear, suicidal thoughts and mental illness, can make it harder to recognize and overcome one’s addiction. Once you understand that this disease might not have started with you, it will be much easier to come to terms with it, and seek the appropriate help. Perhaps by looking at your family history, you will be able to trace where the addiction came from and how it trickled from generation to generation and reached you. This will hopefully help you to save yourself.

The most common addictions are addictions to alcohol, nicotine, drugs, gambling, sex, food and, believe it or not, work. When any of these things are used continually to numb a person into an altered state and become dependent on it, that is when the addiction has occurred. Was your grandfather an alcoholic, and your aunt and your father also struggled with alcohol? Perhaps you are an alcoholic, but you’ve added drugs to the mix. Meanwhile, your first cousin is a drug addict and your sister and niece are addicted to food. This is family addiction; it is generational and will not be stopped until someone recognizes this. You can be the one who decides you want to heal, to save your children and grandchildren from this happening to them also.

I am telling you all of this because I have lived with all of the above. Growing up, I was abused and surrounded by addiction. I lived in fear, embarrassment and shame on a daily basis for many, many years. l want to share my story with all of you in hopes of educating people about addiction so they seek help; I want those of you who are struggling to know that there is a wonderful, beautiful life waiting for you just around the corner. I want all of you to know that my wounds have healed to scars, from which I am able to tell my story with love and the intention of helping those who read my story. I am hopeful that just knowing this information will help you to make the decision to want to improve your life. You are not alone in your journey, but you alone must make the decision to seek help and begin your journey of healing.

Part I

My Story

The Genetic Blueprint

As I laid out in the introduction, addiction is a genetic disease and most likely didn’t start with you. My story started long before I even came into existence. It starts with my father, Louis Schad, born in May of 1932. He was the oldest of five children with two brothers and two sisters. Unfortunate circumstances led to the death of my grandfather, and my dad was left fatherless at the age of thirteen. Since dad was the eldest child, he was left to take on the role of provider. He had to quit school in order to help his deaf mother raise his siblings. He was no longer a carefree child but forced to become a man overnight; his life as he knew it forever changed.

He was now responsible for all the duties to keep the family farm afloat. Later in my father’s teenage years, he worked at the Saskatchewan Wheat Pool and was introduced to my mother’s father. They became fast friends as my grandfather really liked his work ethic. My grandfather could see that he was a strong, hardworking, good-natured man, and he offered him an additional job as a farmhand, which is how he met my mother.

At the young age of fifteen my pregnant mother married my father. This was on May 15, 1953. My grandfather forced them into marriage so as not to bring shame on the family. To complicate his life even more, my father was expecting a child with another woman at the same time. In addition to looking after a farm and taking care of his immediate family, he now had a wife and two babies on the way, all of whom needed his support.

My father was well known within the farming community, well liked and respected. He was described as a man of strength, a hard worker, and a generous and caring individual. Many people admired him and said he would give you his shirt off his back, but also knew never to cross him and make him angry.

As time passed, the stress must have gotten worse and something broke inside him. He became more violent, alcohol became a problem and his mental health was being affected. He was a broken man with a broken spirit, and he was angry at the world. There was a Jekyll and Hyde effect that took place. Mother told me that as the family grew, so did the victims of his abuse. Mother was no longer singled out; he also started to abuse the older children. My oldest brother, Walter, took the brunt of the beatings. Mother recounts a time, before I was born, when she, dad’s mom, and the children were sitting down for supper and my dad came home from the pub. He was in a fit of rage over something that had happened at the pub and drunker than a skunk. Out of control with anger, he threw the table over, and food and dinnerware went flying. Everyone was terrified, and my grandmother was screaming and yelling at my dad. These are the kinds of situations that my mother and siblings had to endure.

As time went on, he became more and more damaged, and alcohol was the escape he used to numb his pain and fear. There was an incident where he badly beat my mother and she reported it to the authorities. The following day, my father was arrested and it took three police officers to apprehend him. He was admitted to the Souris Valley Mental Institution in Weyburn, Saskatchewan, where he remained hospitalized for over a month. When he was institutionalized was the only time my mother was able to relax and not be in fear.

With the change in personality, Dad became well known around the rural community for his fighting, drinking and his reputation for being a tough guy. Mother states that there was never a dance they went to where he didn’t get into a fight. The story I heard the most as I was growing up was about the time the police tried to arrest him after a pub brawl. He somehow managed to break free of his handcuffs, even with his hands behind his back, and went on to beat up the arresting officers. People were amazed by his strength, but even more amazed by how he pushed the limits. He was a changed man with a broken spirit.

As years passed and my seven brothers and sisters grew up, life didn’t get any easier. The danger to my mother’s and my siblings’ lives just increased as Father became crazier and crazier. There is a particular incident that took place that has scarred my older sisters for life, and I will never forget this story. My three sisters were hiding in a clothes’ closet while our father was having a violent mental breakdown, and he set the closet on fire with them in it. He deliberately started a fire in the closet knowing they were in there. I can remember being told this story by my one sister and her telling me of the nightmares she had for years after. How does someone come back from that terror? Thankfully, Mother had enough and packed us kids up and moved us to her parents’. Arrangements were made, and we eventually moved to Moose