My Own Monster

By Ryan Zibani

My Own Monster, Dear Diary of the lost soul is a collection of poems. The poems are more about depression, suicidal thoughts, neglect, letting go of the past, forgiving all those who caused you harm for the sake of your own peace and getting a new lease of life after several bouts of depression. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ryan Zibani
• Release date: Mar 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201461188

Book preview

PROLOGUE

I had unanswered questions so I went about in search for answers but what I found was something way different. I came back with a taboo on the motherland; I came back with a disease that is not recognised by my fellow countrymen, so how was I going to get better?

That’s when I met my diary and we have been inseparable ever since, he helped me get better. I told him everything, my pain, my joy and my sorrow.... And I’m now sharing my life with you with hope that I help a life. 

THE DARK DIARY OF A LOST SOUL

Dear Diary (Week 01)

It all started as life's practical,

Teenage love, and non-reasonable fights,

Depressed and lost, blaming the demons yet it's me who bewitched myself,

The pride had no justice,

Wondering in a land of crisis,

Insecure in my minded bubble,

Lost in my thoughts, fighting the demons with the problem I caused,

It now feels like an army of vengeance,

While it's just multiple personalities building within,

The voices, the noises,

Emotional breakdown, reviewing the loses,

The crisis, the pain, injecting hate in my veins,

Truth and honesty I will say,

Divorced myself the moment I forgot to pray,

I'm a sinner haunted by flashbacks being the prey,

It's sad I can't save myself

Dear Thoughts (Week 02)

I have been so sad,

That it hurts me physically,

The pain has now taken its root beneath,

I will never be free of you,

And this thing will kill me,

I know I can’t live with you,

But here life sucks with you.

I cannot solve all my problems,

But you promised to be with me always,

Why