Matters of the Soul

By Ruth Cherry

"How we know our inner world defines how we experience external reality." From that initial sentence in Matters of the Soul, a format for growth is presented with sections for Exercises and Reflections. Questions to spur journal writing encourage r

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bookside Press
• Release date: Jan 26, 2022
• ISBN: 9781990695032

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Copyright © 2022 by Ruth Cherry, Ph.D.

ISBN: 978-1-990695-02-5 (Paperback)

978-1-990695-03-2 (E-book)

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

The views expressed in this book are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Contents

Part One HEALING THROUGH CONNECTION

Chapter 1 WHAT’S THIS ABOUT, ANYWAY?

Chapter 2 DENIAL, THE QUICK FIX

Chapter 3 RECOVERY

Chapter 4 NOW, BE NICE

Chapter 5 DO IT RIGHT

Chapter 6 REALITY, THE BOTTOM LINE

Part Two LIVING WITH CONNECTION

Chapter 7 WRESTLING THE TIGER

Chapter 8 TEAM WORK

Chapter 9 THE HERO WITHIN

Chapter 10 THE WITNESS

Chapter 11 LIVING ON THE EDGE

Chapter 12 CO-CREATING

Part Three TRANSFORMATION THROUGH CONNECTION

Chapter 13 MEDITATION

Chapter 14 POWER

Chapter 15 INTEGRITY

Chapter 16 PRESENCE

BIBLIOGRAPHY

INTRODUCTION

Passion.

During the first part of my life I did Control. Everything according to the book. Not much risk taking. Adhering to rules that weren’t even spoken. This had some benefits — degrees, professional success — but not the lasting safety I had hoped for. Safety was so important because I had always lived with fear.

It is tempting to ask why, to analyze, to criticize parenting or misguided authorities, but that is irrelevant. (Maybe true, but irrelevant, nonetheless.) I was not at peace. I wasn’t OK with myself. I wanted someone to love me because I desperately needed to be loved and it certainly wasn’t coming from inside.

I had to understand this life if I were going to make it through. My urgency to know what is real (coupled with some denial tenaciously held) has always been a driving force for me. Only because of pain. I doubt that I would have been motivated to search relentlessly without the ceaseless prodding from my unconscious. Yes, the pain led me to study clinical psychology and, yes, I’m another psychologist who is basically neurotic and trying to straighten out her own life. But, hey, do you know a better reason to enter the field?

The only catch is that we professionals need to finish our work — to completely heal — to go to every depth in ourselves and to completely align with the unconscious to pull us through. Unfortunately, that does not always happen. Have you noticed that psychologists have the reputation of being screwy? Many are. It’s a shame, isn’t it. But maybe it only shows that true healing isn’t a matter of understanding, talking, and feeling, but of accessing that part of ourselves which is beyond our minds and our personalities and even the identification we give to our self.

After all the psychotherapy and reading and personal growth, I still hungered for something beyond my self. Acknowledging my own sense of spiritual reality was the only experience that seemed to respond to that longing. In meditation I learned to shift my usual way of perceiving and identifying who I am. As I had begun with the psychodynamic process, I looked at my mind and my feelings. With detachment I breathed and trusted my unconscious to lead me to healing in ways I could not describe and did not fully under­stand.

That trust developed with experience — feeling the uncon­scious urges, following them, and looking at the consequences. Or ignoring them, using my will, and looking at the consequences. I have to admit that the pain from the latter led me to state (on several occasions), I will never ignore messages from my inner world again. Of course, I don’t get anything the first five times it is shown to me, so I became very familiar with the characteristics of this process.

The pain was awful when I did not listen to my inner world tugs, but the disconnection from that source of guidance was unbearable. I did not want to be alone even on that inner level.

Alone from what?

I gave different names to this experience at different times in my development. Now I call it my experience of spiritual reality. It is completely personal and meaningful to me in terms of the details of my life. It is not about being anything in particular and it is definitely not about religion. For me it has been important not to have any external authority at all, no one offering a framework for how I should live. I need to respond to the minute-by-minute pulls from within me.

Meditation has sensitized me to my life inside. That is a world in which I am not in control and cannot predict. It is one which guides me and which I have learned to trust completely. It brings experiences to me and me to them.

How can that be?

When I do my own consciousness work inside, I am clarifying the distortions that my mind and my ego create. I look at my reactions instead of identifying with them. And I align myself with that flow inside which is not based on goal achievement or belief or holding onto anything at all. And then I can let go and trust because I know that I am guided — I am given the experiences I need to heal and to grow. I can benefit from everything that happens, whether I like it or not. It is so reassuring not to have to be responsible for the outcome. When I can move beyond a need for control, I can experience my life with passion.

This book is about that process, about being willing to look at what is — both within and around ourselves without judgment — and to say, Yes. This passionate attitude of acceptance of what is real leads to true peace.

In these pages I have described some people I have known who are at different stages of trust and alignment. But I have learned that other people reflect me to myself so this book is really about me. And you. In basic human ways, we really are not so different one from another. There is no sense in pointing fingers or blaming or saying, Not me. It is always a matter of acknowledging our part in creating our experience.

That process is the basis for this book. In Part I, I have looked at personal reality in the context of inner world dynam­ics. A description of the unconscious in psychological and spiritual terms is presented with case study illustrations. In Part II, several examples of people living with spiritual connection are described. Their acknowledgment of spiritual reality is personally meaningful to them. In Part III, the transformative aspects of deepening and strengthening spiritual connection is illustrated with case studies.

I have included Exercises after each chapter to make your experience of the material more immediate. It is through experience that we move and allow spiritual reality to guide us. Our minds are of limited value; usually they just keep us stuck without experiencing being alive while they rationalize. So, just reading is not sufficient for you to know yourself at greater depth. Only surrendering to the tugs from your inner world and experiencing what is, not thinking about it, will carry you. If you find yourself not doing the Exercises, you may want to look at your Controller’s fear. It probably blocks you in other ways, too. No matter what you do, you can learn from it.

The Reflections sections after the Exercises give you an opportunity to look inside, note your personal reactions, and then write. Keep a journal (a spiral notebook) in which you record your inner life experiences. As you read this book, keep the notebook with you. It will provide you with an opportunity to express yourself in response to what you read. Inner experi­ence and journaling go together naturally. One facilitates the other as they each move you along in your personal journey. Writing in your journal provides the opportunity for your experience to be integrated.

Matters of the Soul is to be experienced. As you read the text, do the Exercises, and write in your journal, you will be inviting your passion to guide your life. Experience is the key: whatever comes up, experience it. When you do that, this process continues to move. When you think, it stops. When your conscious mind is out of the way, your unconscious is available. It invites you to a marvelous affair getting to know the creativity and wisdom that live inside you.

This book is for you to know on a very personal level. Let it guide you into yourself. Knowing your own reality deeply is the most significant consciousness work you will do this life­time. This text and these Exercises can guide, support, and encourage you in that work. When you have done all the Exercises and written in your journal, you will have a valuable diary of your own spiritual growth.

The body scan Exercise that follows is a basic introduction to meditation, to being present, and to tuning into what is this second. You may want to do it daily for a week and then whenever you choose. It’s deceptively simple and potentially profound. Tape it or have a friend tape it. Then be passive but alert as you let it guide your attention. (If you are likely to fall asleep if you recline, do this exercise sitting up.)

EXERCISE

Get into a comfortable position. Let your eyes close... Notice your breath. Follow your breathing, in and out... Just let your breath pull you into your body... Breathe and be an Observer...

Breathe deeply... Feel the oxygen flow through you, all the way down into your toes. Follow your breath as it goes to your toes... Let go of any tension as you exhale...

Feel your breath flowing through your feet. Feel what it’s like to be in the tops of your feet... in the soles of your feet... Focus on your feet. As you exhale, let go of any tension in your feet that you no longer need to hold on to... Watch your breath going in and out. Just breathe...

Follow your breath as it pulses through your ankles and your lower legs. Let yourself focus on these parts of your body... Just be there and breathe. When you exhale, let go of any tension that you may be holding there...

Now follow your breath to your upper legs, your thighs. Just breathe and be there... As you exhale, let go of any tension. Just breathe and watch these areas of your body...

Follow your breath into your lower pelvic area, your but­tocks, your genitals... Just observe these areas of your body as you focus on them. Let go as you exhale...

Breathe into your abdomen and lower back areas and feel what it’s like to be in these parts of your body... Release any tension with your outbreath... Observe what it’s like to be right here right now...

Let your breath carry your focus to your waist, front and back... your chest and upper back... Let the air move all through these parts of you and just watch it... Breathe and watch. Feel what it’s like to be there. As you exhale, let go of any tension in those areas...

Direct your breath to your shoulders and watch it move through all the muscles there. Breathe and feel that... Let go with your exhale...

Allow your breath to take you into your upper arms... elbows... lower arms... Notice what exists there right now. If there is any tension you are willing to release, let it go with your exhale...

Follow your breath into your wrists, hands and fingers... Notice what you are feeling there... With your outbreath, let go of any tension. Observe...

Now watch your breath as it flows through your neck and throat. Notice what’s going on there... Observe and breathe. Let tension go with your exhale...

Watch your breath flow into your head. Follow it as it moves through the spaces around your brain... behind your face... around your ears... Notice what that feels like... Release with your outbreath...

Just breathe and be... Follow your breath and watch it move through your body. Watch where it takes you... To what part of your body does your breath go? ... Don’t change any­thing, just notice.

Be there, wherever your breath guides you...