The Four Aces of Character: Grit, Humility, Integrity and Wisdom

By TBD

Life is replete with changes. Its terrain can be difficult, even hazardous, to maneuver through. Furthermore, since it is constantly in flux, life can be unpredictable at times. The Four Aces of Character: Grit, Humility, Integrity and Wisdom

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trey Davis
• Release date: Jan 27, 2022
• ISBN: 9780578365176

TBD

Patsy Stanley is an artist, illustrator and author and a mother, grandmother and great grandmother. She has authored both nonfiction and fiction books including novels, children's books, energy books, art books, and more. She can reached at:[e-mail] for questions and comments.

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Foreword

When the learned man drives away vanity by earnestness, he, the wise, climbing the terraced heights of wisdom, looks down upon the fools, serene he looks upon the toiling crowd, as one that stands on a mountain looks down upon them that stand upon the plain.

The Dhammapada

The samurai in feudal Japan were cognizant of the quality and caliber of their swords. Not only must the steel of the sword be free of impurities for it to last, but also the character of the maker of the sword must be likewise impeccable, lest undesirable traits are passed on to the sword, thus negatively affecting the sword user.

Having known Trey Davis for over 20 years, I can emphatically tell you that the author of this book you hold in your hands, The Four Aces of Character: Grit, Humility, Integrity, and Wisdom, is as impeccable as they come. Rest assured you will read numerous insights from various sources. Yet it is wonderful to know, as readers, that one person of great character is our guide and teacher in this book. We are in good hands.

I met Trey at Sonshi.com, a website I founded that was dedicated to Sun Tzu’s Art of War, a 2500-year-old Chinese classic still popular all around the world. Over those years, I have personally witnessed Trey’s true grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom. He doesn’t parrot concepts of grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom. Trey Davis lives them.

Trey shared with us his struggles at Sonshi.com. Yet through it all, he kept on living the best life he knew how, raising two wonderful children – Landon and Summer – alongside his wife Linda. That’s grit. Trey seems always the first to admit his infallibility, almost to a fault, despite the successes he has throughout his life so far. That’s humility.

Trey is my most trusted friend. He has been with me through thick and thin. How rare is that in life? So rare. Who can I trust more with even my life? I can say Trey Davis. That’s integrity.

Trey is still learning, even though he has gained so much knowledge already. He, the truth seeker, has never stopped. He serves as a perfect example of proper self-critique, which is the ability to understand what you’re good at and what you still need to improve upon. That’s wisdom.

Living with grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom is extremely difficult, almost impossible for many. There are powerful factors that go against us all. That’s why application is the most difficult part in life. Everyone seems to know what to do, but whether or not he or she does what is right is always in question.

Why the difficulty? Because we humans are emotional creatures. We have a logical side to be sure, but this logical side is often overwhelmed when emotions rush in. It’s as if we are two different individuals. As strange as it sounds, this is rather normal. And because this is normal, we can’t expect everyone to be logical. We can’t expect everyone to do the right thing. The best we can hope for is for everyone to not hurt each other. The nightly news reminds us of our daily failures.

In 500 BC, Sun Tzu said winning 100 battles isn’t the highest excellence -- winning without fighting is best. At around the same time thousands of miles away, Gautama Buddha refined this principle even further: winning 1000 battles over 1000 men isn’t the highest excellence. Winning over oneself is the highest excellence.

There are many battles won over thousands if not millions of people in the history books. But give me one example of a person who can remain exactly the same after lavish praise and harsh critique. Seems easy but anybody who has experienced life sufficiently understands that it’s not easy. Imperfect beings trying to be perfect, humans being impeccable in practice are extraordinary.

Trey wants The Four Aces of Character: Grit, Humility, Integrity, and Wisdom to be available to the public despite its immense expense in effort and resources required. He wants everyone – from strangers to his closest family members – to benefit. He stands on the mountain, not to look down upon people, but to reach out his helping hand in assistance, lifting people up whenever they need it.

Therefore, I urge you to read this book carefully and benefit from his hard-earned experiences.

Significant improvements and notable achievements are usually gained through mistakes, disappointments, and suffering. But it doesn’t have to be that way for readers. You can learn from others, especially those who are accomplished like Trey Davis.

The Four Aces of Character: Grit, Humility, Integrity, and Wisdom is a timeless gift that will be enjoyed for many generations and centuries to come. It is made to last. It is a rare book written by an extraordinary individual who practices what he teaches because he indeed has grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom.

Thomas Huynh

Rome, Georgia

December 2021

Introduction

Walker Percy, a renowned American writer of philosophy and semiotics, wrote to his father from college, bemoaning the academic struggles he was enduring at the time. His father, not the least bit hung up on grades, wrote back, My whole theory about life and accomplishment are of far less importance than the creation of character and the individual good life.¹ We should be so lucky to be guided and counseled by such a mentor.

I do not pretend to be the arbiter of unvarnished character. I have always thought the worst vice was ad-vice. So, with that in mind, the concepts, ideas, and opinions represented in this writing were written more as reminders for me (as journal entries really) and something to pass on to my grandchildren. This work is not a literary masterpiece or anywhere near it. Dispense with any idea of witnessing a wordsmith in action. That is not me and the writing would never hold up to such scrutiny. What you are about to read is nothing more than simple thoughts from my simple head. The reader of this book is bearing witness to, quite simply, a conversation I am having with myself—reminders to walk through the world with grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom. I think anyone would agree that these four are cinder blocks of character. When we learn to live, move and have our being (Acts 17:28) in these qualities we are positioned for a life of peace, tranquility, happiness, and contentment. It does, however, take effort to live, move, and have our being in these traits. Developing character is not a destination. It is a process, and at times it is fraught with turmoil. Life has a way of tossing and turning us away from the light and into the darkness—she can be sly, subtle, and swift, turning victory into tragedy and back again. But when we are endowed with character, we are able to maneuver through tumultuous landscapes with a calm assurance, knowing that a stronger and smarter version of ourselves waits on the other side. Baltasar Gracian said it eloquently:

This defect is like the ocean. Swaying back and forth it praises and condemns by turns. It lifts someone to the stars, only to dash him, a second later, onto the rocks. Novices are lost before such a stormy sea. But there are navigators at the palace whose experience allows them to laugh when others faint. They know that change, which torments us today will smile favorable on us tomorrow. Ah, the prudent! How calmly they skirt the points and sound the gulfs! What do they care for the courtesies and the curtness of fortune? They are surprised by neither extreme.²

[F]ortune may always change, but not character. Therefore, subjective blessings - a noble nature, a capable head, a joyful temperament, bright spirits, a well constituted, perfectly sound physique are the first and most important elements in happiness.

Baltasar Gracian

As far as I can tell, life is one big paradox. Lao Tzu said, Water is the softest thing, yet it can penetrate mountains and earth. This shows clearly the principle of softness overcoming hardness.

Muscle must be torn down in order to grow; sometimes less is more; you can save money by spending it; doing nothing can create something—these are examples of a paradox. If you approach life with your eyes open, you will see that life is an interweaving collection of different paradoxes. Life is not an ordered array of mathematical formulas revealing a fixed answer. It is not that simple. We are on a precarious journey where sometimes we may feel as if we are moving through a living room full of furniture in the dark. We must be prepared to make adjustments, to bend, contort, and slide our way through. To do otherwise—to engage life with a constant cocksure attitude—is wrought with failure. Our journey should not traverse on rails. Rather we should soar like a bird, allowing for quick adjustments and improvisations. In other words, we should not grasp our opinions and viewpoints with a death grip. We should be willing to admit that we could be wrong and need to make changes. Churchill said, Those who never change their mind never change anything.

The ultimate foundation of honor is the conviction that moral character is unalterable.³

Arthur Schopenhauer

Life is a labyrinth of corridors paved with different and differing guideposts. Many of these guideposts are paradoxical, and many are more direct. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to follow the correct guidepost that will lead us down the corridor to accomplish any endeavor in the quickest and most efficient way possible. These endeavors include everything we set our mind to do. Everything life has to offer, from family matters to career issues to friendships, has multiple corridors and guideposts. To complicate things further, many guideposts will misdirect us; we must be wise enough to follow the ones that best suit our needs and bring us peace of mind. To be sure, there will be moments when the right path will be elusive. Patiently waiting with an open mind is one among a few methods that will show the right course of action. By discussing our options with someone we trust, we can receive advice from someone whose judgment is not clouded by an emotional attachment to our particular situation.

As we make our journey, we may come to realize that the things we assumed to be true are not as straightforward as we thought. Different circumstances call for different tactics. Simply because a formula or method was successful at one point does not mean it would be appropriate for another. We need to think about our situation. View it from every angle. It may require some patient reflection. This may not be a time for unbridled forging ahead. Forbearance is on the Mount Rushmore of effective methods for accomplishing objectives. Even though it seems counterintuitive, stepping back and allowing life to take the natural course is often the best policy. The only way to clear up a disturbed mud puddle is to wait for the sediment to settle on its own. Our natural inclination (and today’s conventional wisdom) may be to take a sledgehammer to the problem that lay before us. My own inclination is to assure myself that I have given proper analysis to the issue before doing so. The sledgehammer route may not be the most effective method for the given situation; it might be best to don a supple mentality and bend with the forces that we encounter. Maneuver as water travels down a hilly landscape. There will be situations, however, that will call for grabbing life by the throat and taking offensive measures. Regardless of the circumstance, always stare life square in the face without flinching. NEVER LOSE A STARE DOWN WITH LIFE, NEVER COWER, NEVER GIVE UP! We keep on fighting, equipped with guts and drive. Guided by and grounded in strong character, our journey will not only be effective but enriching, vibrant and fulfilling.

These were two men [Marcus Aurelius and Seneca] who wrote repeatedly—to remind themselves most of all—that memorials and memories were worthless in life. Marcus would say good character should be like a smelly animal—something that everyone in the room felt and noticed the second it walked in. But Heraclitus put it best: Character is fate. A tombstone verse can be carved anytime, by anyone, long after we’re gone. But living character is available to us only now—in the moment.⁴

Life is replete with uncertainty. Despite all our efforts to avoid it, the precarious nature of life is with us until the end. Make no mistake, we are traversing on a river current over which we have little control. We can, however, decide how stable the vessel is that carries us down this ambiguous journey. But it is in these moments of uncertainty that we have the opportunity to build character and become men and women with the grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom that make for a more peaceful life. We are the ones that build character—each of us and each of us alone. And serving others goes a long way to building character. As Jacob Marley said in Scrooge, mankind should be our business. What benefit we are to others should be our trade. This is character. When our message is infected with such things as arrogance, blame, self-indulgence, scorn, backbiting, intemperance, jealousy, anger, conniving, manipulation, and so forth, we are not building a vessel—we are forging a chain in life. We forge it link by link and yard by yard, said Marley. It is a chain that we wear, a burden we carry. The good news is that we have the choice to build a vessel or forge a chain. The choice is pretty damn simple. The utmost importance should be placed on the construction and maintenance of such a vessel. And the truth is that the construction began when we were born. With any luck, we have been guided by our parents or some mentor who provided us with the tools necessary to build this taut vessel, which we can depend on for the storms that present themselves throughout our life. What binds this vessel up to withstand the turbulence ahead is character. Character will carry us through. It will define the essence of achieving happiness and peace of mind. Placation is nice; it feels good. Being lauded for a talent or accomplishment is exhilarating, but that withers and fades away. The only thing of true and lasting value is an acceptance and pride of yourself as a compassionate person, full to the brim with grit, humility, integrity, and wisdom. Nothing else will sustain us through the vicissitudes of life.

Wellbeing is realized by small steps, but it is no small thing.⁵

Zeno

When viewed generally, life is beautiful—beautiful in the sense that you have the capability to learn to give and receive love.⁶ My own experience bears this out as the central message that leads us toward peace of mind. But life has an extremely ugly and dark side as well. We must hold to the principles that hopefully our elders instilled in us—principles that are peppered throughout this writing. Doing so will bring us a little clarity in these dark times and expedite the time we are in them.

Student to Epictetus, Tell me what to do.

Epictetus, It would be better to say, ‘Make my mind adaptable to any circumstance.’

A note to my grandchildren: There are very few things that I know for certain. One of those things is that, as you grow older, chances are your views on some things will differ from mine. You may even find yourself in opposition to some things in the following pages. Generally, this is a good thing; it shows your individuality and reflects your ability to carve your own life path. This is vitally important and must not be taken for granted. Not only is this perfectly all right, but it is essential for your continued growth. My desire, however, is that in taking on my views, someone else’s views, or creating your own, you will have the sagacity to prudently judge the value of such