Memoirs of a Vet's Mind Wars

By Ron D Britton

This book is dedicated to the men and women of the armed forces, those heroes who defended their homeland from both foreign and domestic threats. I wrote this book because I wanted to talk about trauma from many different angles. Trauma comes in many forms, including physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. Military families often experienc

• Language: English
• Publisher: New Life Clarity Publishing
• Release date: Jan 18, 2022
• ISBN: 9781087902562

Book preview

PTSD Mind

My mind runs from yesterday’s memories of trauma unknown.

My exposure to human crisis set me on the edge.

Nothing is as it used to be.

At times, I feel caged within this cyclical process of human suffering,

repeating moments I can’t escape.

I live in a constant state of emergency.

My mind is thrown back and forth from reality to unreality,

because rage buries these painful memories,

and I seek help from those who can bring my unreality

back to normality where I can find peace of mind.

In my personal asylum, nightmares replace dreams,

fear replaces strength, despair replaces hope,

but I will hold on and cope with whatever comes my way,

because I am a survivor.

No Man Left Behind

In wartime, the motto is No Man Left Behind.

A dying comrade is never abandoned on the battlefield.

There is no stronger love than the love created

between two men who swore an oath to defend each other

at the cost of their own lives, no greater oath

than the promise to defend one’s country.

To risk your life by putting yourself in harm’s way

is called selflessness.

It is a sign of bravery, courage, and honor.

This philosophy should apply not only to the military,

but to everyday civilian life.

Our perceptions of one another would change

if only we learned "I can’t live without you,

and you can’t live without my help."

In times of crisis, it takes a community,

bound by honor and loyalty,

to overcome any unexpected conflict.

If we stay ready, we no longer have to get ready.

Forced to Be a Martyr

Too much is at stake - the Savior couldn’t wait,

as the sands of time seeped through the hourglass,

as our lives bled into eternal time.

The Creator never intended mankind

to lose all hope of redemption,

but our enemies were scheming against us,

so He, Christ, was forced to be a martyr,

to free the bound souls,

lost over what was perceived as fool’s gold

sold to humanity.

Now the people scream

because they believed the enemy’s lies.

The enemy hated humanity

from the beginning,

and because of our disobedience,

the Savior was forced to be a martyr,

giving his own life

to make things right.

Imprisoned

I am imprisoned by trauma.

I am a product of conflict.

I believed it was my duty

to serve and protect

the freedoms I love most.

I was ready and willing to fight

until my last breath.

I’ve seen people, shackled

by the burdens of men,

who cared not for their own survival.

Whether they lived or died

meant nothing to them,

so long as they could rule with an iron fist.

I am imprisoned by trauma,

a product of conflict.

No longer will I sit idle,

like the proverbial fog

hovering above a pot of water

while the heat is turned up,

dying slowly.

10 x 10

I just moved into a 10x10 room.

Somehow, I stuffed everything I own

into this little home,

but my surroundings feel so estranged,

and my life feels rearranged.

I’m feeling the pain

of being tossed aside,

a part of me has died a thousand deaths,

and I can’t even collect death benefits -

I need to make adjustments,

but my beliefs won’t bend,

and I’m trapped in this maze,

fading into a world with no end.

Still, a 10x10 is better than

living on the dark and lonely streets

with nothing to eat, trying to survive,

trying to forget how far you’ve fallen

from grace.

In my case, I’m just trying to trace

from where I fell

and why my life went to hell,

no money for bail,

and all I could do was yell.

Maybe someone will have mercy on me,

drop a few dimes,

but it’s so rough

trying to tough it out

while I wait for blessings to fall from the sky,

begging the Heavens, "Oh me oh my, may I please

have a piece of the pie before I die?"

It’s been quite an experience

living within a 10x10 room,

and one day, when I leave,

I hope I’m ready to cope with something bigger

than a 10x10, but until then,

I’m gonna work with it until I can kick it

with the big ballers.

Scared Mirror

As I gaze upon the window

that reflects the image of who I am,

it shows me a misnomer

of my true self.

I’ve struggled with distorted perceptions

of the other self

while searching for my own greatness,

I’ve discovered my altered ego

while pondering my future.

I’ve discussed the multi-dimensional complexities

of the inner and outer selves

with me, myself, and I,

and we came to the conclusion

that the nomenclature of my existence

must be birthed from within the circle

of my confidants.

The mass destruction caused

by others’ words

have temporarily stifled my progress to glory,

but I will not be defeated.

Though I’ve been bruised, misused,

ostracized and scandalized,

I rise above my burdens,

and my brokenness will be the formation

of the real me

as I rise from the ashes of obscurity.

Living Without Regret

As I look back upon my life,

I see so many mistakes,