Eyes of a Broken Warrior: & Other Short Stories

By R R Pravin

Every time I close my eyes,
I listen to the world around me
All I here are wars & cries for help from all four corners,
Will this violence ever end between countries, between hearts?
Cant the love we preach be for real just this once
Or does it remain a distant dream
in another universe?

Paulo Coelho once said that a warrior always knows what is worth fighting for. From the child suffering from an irreversible genetic condition to the innocent girl who is scarred by acid by her inebriated husband, Eyes of A Broken Warrior & Other Short Stories recounts the stories of true survivors across the world from their perspective. Be inspired by their story, like none other you have ever heard before.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 13, 2013
• ISBN: 9781481708104

R R Pravin

R R Pravin is an avid author who loves writing about contemporary issues near and dear to his heart. During this COVID-19 pandemic, he wrote a groundbreaking anthology to define these unprecedented times. He also pays homage to his hometown and to the ordinary people for their hard work.

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© 2013 R. R. Pravin. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 2/15/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0809-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-0810-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013900944

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Especially Dedicated to:

All the special kids in the world who feel different when there is a reason not to because they are not different – just special.

‘Every time I close my eyes, I listen to the world around me

All I here are wars & cries for help from all four corners,

Will this violence ever end between countries, between hearts?

Can’t the love we preach be for real just this once

Or does it remain a distant dream in another universe?’

From the Eyes of A Broken Warrior

Warning to Readers:

Read the words as they flow, or you’ll fall into the unfathomable pit of doubt – I’ve been there myself, trust me.

A Broken Warrior

Contents

Prelude

January Jewels

1 Truth

2 Eyes of A Broken Warrior

3 Victims of Life

4 Scar

February Fever

5 Modern-Woman Wannabe

6 Orange Bangles

7 A Love That Never Will

8 Minister Daddy

9 The Patient Who Never Left

March Memories

10 Different Endings

11 If You Believe In Miracles

12 Magic of the Mango Tree

13 Angels

April Ambience

14 Words of Wisdom

15 Power of Prayer

16 Miracles

17 One Moment In Time

May Mystique

18 Fifteen Thousand Dollars

19 Circle of Fatality

20 Dwell in Misery

21 Undying love…

June Jubilee

22 The Punishment

23 A Dance to Death

24 A Little Too Much

25 Immortal Smile

July Jams

26 Jump!

27 Ecstasy

28 Can I Help You?

29 Change Begins With You

August Apology

30 Lock Out the Love

31 Wendy the Weirdo

32 Love & Loss

33 Feelings can’t Feed

34 Faceless, Fearless

September Sorrows

35 Butter Baby

36 Heaven’s Karma

37 Price to Pay

38 A Haven for Unwanted Girls

39 The Last Train

October Odyssey

40 El Viejo

41 The Clay Pot

42 Orphans of Education

43 Two Lives, One Heart

44 Home (where the Heart belongs…)

November Nostalgia

45 Caspian Knights (Mini Series): Joyeux Noël

46 Caspian Knights (Mini Series): Mr.Farfullette’s Vacation

47 Caspian Knights (Mini Series): Storm

48 Caspian Knights (Mini Series): Christian’s Dreams

49 Caspian Knights (Mini Series): Mrs Farfullettee’s love

December Dreams

50 Good God, Why Do Good People Always Have to Suffer?

51 Do You Believe in Santa?

52 Light in the Dark

53 What is the Meaning of Life?

Postlude: A Stream in the Woods

About the Author

Endnotes

Prelude

When I write, it feels like I am playing so many different chords on the piano, playing so many strings of the violin all at once. It happens all at once, a feeling you cannot control. As the melody comes to mind, I translate it into words, putting emotions to bring the story alive. The words dance before my eyes and a spirit so strong possesses the soul that sometimes I find myself lost in my own stories. There is no other feeling like writing for when you write, you feel like a Pharaoh no one can challenge, on top of the world.

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January Jewels

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1

Truth

I wake up every morning to a brand new day, asking myself if I was the same person as I was the day before. Confused, I draw the curtains and I gaze into empty space, far into the blue waters. Where sand meets sea, I stand wondering if I should take that brave new step to venture into the unknown. Then, I retract once again, crying deep inside. Should I do this? There have been so many who have loved and respected me. Will it all come down when the truth is unveiled? Building my life pebble by pebble, telling the dark truth that has nested deep within my soul, may shatter it all within seconds, faster than the speed of light. I know I am stronger. I know what they say will never shake my foundations, my roots, the very stepping stones I used to climb higher on the ladder of life. Many a times, I lost myself, drifting back and forth from oblivion back into sense and then lost it all again. People say that it is easy to do it all but they will be surprised when they see the pain every human goes through on multiple levels to get to where he is today. There is pain. There is hurt. There is never an easy way out, no one answer to solve all riddles, no one shortcut to merge all the tedious paths we have to cross. There are excuses we can make to get out of trouble’s way but that is not what I really want at all. I have preached honesty so it is only right that I practice it like any other human being. I know my soul belongs in the deep waters way below in the bluest depths where no man dwells. I need to find it there, I’ve lost it one too many a time but that will not stop me from getting what I want or being who I was born and meant to be. I may not be everything but I am definitely something, that tangible someone who feels, who bleeds, who heals and who breathes. I stand for humanity, I abhor poverty, I want liberty but what is the point of purpose if there is no fire to fuel to bring that flickering flame back to life? There have been many a time when I have wondered if friends are really friends and no, sadly there is no one who can be. There is always alienation but right now, as my soul lingers in those deep waters, I know there is yet another soul, similar to mine, waiting to find and salvage mine. The symbol of perfection, of optimism, somewhere within the waters, waiting to lure me into the oyster of love. I feel I have lived one too many a life. I feel that so many things are my fault and I am to blame. There is an overwhelming sense of insecurity and false confidence – all because the truth is not out. How long will the truth remain within, trapped like a caged nightingale that is forbidden to sing? Is this fair? The world is never fair. If the truth leaks, the repercussions are overwhelmingly severe. There will be devastation. There will be consequence and that’s what is keeping me from stepping into the enticing blue waters. I refuse to be fish bait to this world at large and I am not going to be a sacrificial lamb to the injustice that prevails. Instead, I am still pondering, in a pensive. This is taking a while, too long but there seems to be no one, just no one who comprehends the sheer intensity of the truth. There is not a friend who will listen with seriousness or with a sense of maturity I am asking for. They don’t know, they will never know. It seems to be too distant, too far-fetched. Each time I think I found the soul I have been searching for all these years in the waters, it all vanishes before my eyes just as a mirage of the oasis. I have been cheated so many times, is my innocence to blame? No, I have to learn, to become stronger. There is no such thing as time to cry or as time to be mad – what for? The questions keep inundating my mind and the aquatic imagery seems so apt to describe this dilemma into which I have plunged. Call me selfish, they do but they will not be there to pick me up either if I am drowning. This world is not perfect and God, I should have realised this truth way before, even when I was born. There is anger, there is hate within but I will let it go into the waters. I just need to find, keep looking harder, for that special someone who will hold my hand and ferry me into the waters where my soul truly lies, for that someone because of whom I will not be afraid to reveal the truth. Just when I place my trust in someone whom I think could be the one, it all goes awry when it is a false alarm and I have lost one too many because of these false alarms, I need to re-adjust my lighthouse to channel the right signals. I am not perfect and neither are so many out there but I strive to be the epitome of love and humanity. Like a fish out of the sea, I feel so different sometimes. Is it me? Sometimes, I feel it is but there are a few people out there who have made me realise that I am different yet in a special way, meaning there can be a few like me. It is good to be different and it is not something to be ashamed of but then why am I still standing on the shore and not in the sea. Silly me. All these idealistic statements balloon my ego for a minute, allowing me to believe that there just may be an answer to all my sorrows. No, there isn’t or wait is there? I wish for the world to stop, giving me a moment to think and to reflect on what matters, or more importantly, what should matter. It is a long road to travel by foot. I need my mind and my soul to bring me through the tumultuous weather, through the raging emotions. Many are afraid of emotions and the moment they feel they are too immersed in it, they run away from it and that is where I diverge from these cowards, the real cowards in life, those who cannot face their emotions or dare not face them. It is a mystery how these people live, cold and emotionless. There is no way they will survive, nature will select against them like how Darwin prophesised. These are parched souls I stay away from. They will never return no matter how much you give them, in other words sad, sad souls, don’t permit them to dampen your lives. Don’t be surprised if you run into such empty seashells. There will be fewer and fewer of them but as long as you distance yourself before it is too late. I blew it not once but twice, I’ve learnt it the hard way. These are life lessons, not things you can learn from the textbooks and you wonder why you are punished for things you did not even do or wish to bring upon yourself. Right now, after all these scars, I am broken. No longer the perfect picture frame, but an image of ugly. That has to change now. I need a brand new me. Life is too fragile, I had better make this decision before it is too late. I cannot miss the last train, the last flight before it takes off. Finally, I know you are standing there in the waters waiting for me, like a mermaid anticipating my return. You are looking at me, egging me on but I am hesitant, forgive me. You leave all the clues hidden all over the place, expecting me to find it but I somehow never manage to piece them together. You have always been secretly standing there, catching me every time before I fall, before every stressful test, before every crazy decision or before every climatic turning point in my life. I know you are there but who are you – will you show yourself? All those hidden codes, secret epistles, concealed gestures, will this game of hide-and-seek ever end? Will I never find out your much sought-after identity? Tell me please won’t you? I see the blue waters, calm at times or even wild sometimes. I see killer whales lumbering across. I see a school of flying fish dancing in the waters. Amidst all this chaos, where will you be? I do not want to lose you or only find you when you are gone. Please unveil yourself to me before it is too late. Like Moses and the red sea, will the waters part for your glorious return someday mon cheri? There is much confusion in the world alike but for now, I have to let it be. As long as you are still out there for me, I’ll be waiting even it means if time stops and if the world ends. Just to let you know – I would lose all the air in this world to find you, I would risk every inch of blood in my body to seek you, I would run away from the shores deep into the waters just for you to appear to save me from the vicious sharks that plague the world. I have been going round and round all this time in circles but I want this to end, I need to make that colossal decision, to unveil the truth so I can step safely into the waters. My hidden lover, wherever you lay or in whose shadows you lay, unveil yourself. Shield yourself no more in the darkness, come into the light. And you will come on a midnight ferry, sitting on the docks, waving to me finally one mystical night. I will be dressed in my finest and you, in yours. As the cold winds blow and as the tide moves in, you will reach out for me. I will hold your hand and as dawn breaks, I will finally step off the shore and venture into the unknown where we belong together. With no regrets, you will sweep me into your embrace and we will waltz across the docks, just you and I, face to face, your gaze fixed on mine. The ship will sail on far into the seven seas far away from the worries of the world I will be. I will be only with you and that is all I need. The music will quietly play on and our hearts will beat in harmony. There will be no one to worry about because they will never be able to find us on this castaway ship. As the sun goes down and as the moon rises, we will be drifting aimlessly into the waters, floating freely as butterflies. As your caress sweeps down my arms, we will sail away beyond the horizons of love. This day will come, someday. I have to promise myself and I will find you to ease all the pain away. There is never a moment when I do not dream of the waters and this fairy tale that goes along with it – it will be a heaven on Earth. Meanwhile, I am standing, waiting patiently, at the coastline for you to come around. Endlessly yearning for your showing, I awake from dreaming, falling back into reality in that room. I return to sleep, hoping to get at least a vision of you once again. Before I finish, let me tell you – it is in you that the truth lies. If you fail to come out, then the truth will never either.

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2

Eyes of A Broken Warrior

Behind the veil she stood. Her misty and shady eyes glistened beneath the silver satins of her wedding gown. The lavish wedding gown her wealthy husband had selected especially for her mesmerizing beauty. Her lips were pursed in silence, an eerie silence which possessed her soul. Silence meditated in the room as she drew the curtains open. The sunlight penetrated through her as she shunned away in sadness, sobbing. She saw herself in the mirror, a shattered and helpless bride struggling in the clutches of the gambles of love. She took a gentle step towards her reflection which echoed her actions. As she felt the glassy touch of the mirror, her spine tingled with fear and confusion. No longer holding back her tears, she burst into relentless sobs. Tears streamed down her rosy cheeks, eroding the make-up which added shine to this dazzling Barbie doll. Just as the clock struck ten, the music box on her bureau sprang to life. A tune radiating love and joy filled the air and within moments, she found herself before the old chapel at her university.

The cold winter winds froze the windows. Gloominess entwined the dilapidated chapel. The angels wore expressions as bleak as the grey snow which showered from the omniscient heavens above. The chapel was her only solace and her only source of refuge from the brutal rogues. She had spent twenty-one long and arduous years toiling laboriously to make a living. Her chauvinistic parents condemned her. She was worthless in their eyes. She openly wore the wounds of their spiteful and vindictive remarks. No one believed in her. Yet, she had pulled through against all the odds and proved to the harsh world that nothing was impossible for this warrior. She had never allowed herself to succumb to the wicked world. She had a lion’s heart which had devoured the discouraging words of her parents with vengeance. She scored with flying colours in all her examinations and she strode with pride embroidered all over her self-woven tapestry of courage. Many storms had attempted to capsize her ship and interrupt her journey of life. Her sail was strong and her oar even mightier. She wondered at times if she should have been born a boy as no feeble-hearted princess would have been able to withstand the trials she had. When her grades were soaring, she thought she had the picture-perfect life. Emotions of ecstasy gushed through her veins as she was living her dream. However, like all good things, this was about to come to an abrupt end.

There were many who were envious of this pauper who was blessed with intelligence and diligence. She had a spotless record, unstained by detention classes or demerit points. Her image was unsoiled and she was well-respected amongst her teachers. She had earned the jealousy of the pretty princesses who paid their way into university. She was utterly disgusted and filled with abhorrence when she saw them flirting with other men even on the eve of examinations. She would be burning the midnight oil and revising thoroughly through the night. During break times, they would be gazing at the latest trends in magazines which spoke of nothing else but glitz and glamour. She would be engrossed in a world where one could fight alongside Macbeth or sympathize with Scrooge as the Christmas Ghosts paid him consecutive visits or enjoy the acquaintance of amazing characters whom Alice meets in Wonderland. The bourgeoisie girls despised her and criticized her for being the smartest. They hurled insults at her which pierced her heart. She was addressed as the fashion disaster of the century. She felt miserable and there was nowhere to turn to. Yet, she continued to strive to be the best. After all, she had a year left to endure in this horrible university. The situation deteriorated as time went by. The sinister girls decided to create trouble by bribing a group of rugby players into beating her up to threaten her. The rugby boys did as they were instructed and here she lay now in this cold, unwelcoming chapel with no one and nowhere to turn to. The Lord was her final resort.

In her shredded undergarments, she shivered in the cold. She had been brutally tortured and bore the scars of the rugby boys. Blood oozed profusely from her cuts which were drawn all over her body in a rather unsightly manner. She had been terribly abused and she ran to the Lord in whom she had placed immense faith since she was born. She believed in the Lord and his hand guided her through her trying times. This was undeniably no exception. She needed someone to hold onto. She cried silently and only her sobs echoed through the walls of the chapel which was plain deserted. I need you, I do Lord she whimpered, weeping bitterly. Her pink undergarment was now tarnished with blots of red. Her body raged with agony. Her pain was unbearable. She cowered in fear and lay still for a moment. Her eyes widened. Out of the blue, she stood up and fiercely brushed away her tears. She plucked up her broken courage and pieced it into one as she climbed up the ancient spiral staircase to the top of the chapel. She bravely tore off a piece of cloth from her undergarment and blindfolded herself. Farewell cruel world she whispered as she took the plunge.

No, stop! a voice hollered through the chapel as he ran to her rescue. He darted and positioned himself at the exact spot to catch her. Instantaneously, she removed her blindfold and noticed that she was still alive. She immediately pushed him away. Why did you save me? What were you thinking? she yelled as tears of frustration rushed down her bloodshot eyes. He calmly replied I believe life is precious and that you should have a second chance at life. The chapel was dark and both of them were unable to recognize each other. Here let me get the lights he offered as he turned on the lights in the chapel which illuminated the place. The chapel came to live as the intricate designs of Christian monarchs and the awe-inspiring portraits of the Holy Trinity blossomed before their very eyes. The dead designs of the chapel had been awakened. They gleamed in the shower of golden lights. It was a breath-taking sight to behold.

She turned to look at him and saw that he was Brian, her classmate. He was the only one who refused to mock her and who secretly admired her for her beauty and brains. Upon noticing her open wounds and cuts, he inquired in consternation Isabelle, what happened? He carried her and gently laid her on a seat in the colossal chapel as he rushed to the first aid box which was well concealed behind the fire extinguisher in the corner of the chapel. Stay here. Let me dress your wounds. It is going to hurt but do stay calm he said as he immediately got to work. He took great care and precision in dressing her wounds. One by one, he gently rubbed ointment on her